Mr. Horan (NH)

52.

Ella's P.O.V 

        I left the hotel and just got in my car and drove. I don't know where I was going and I honestly didn't care. I just wanted to clear my head and just process everything. Flashes of images and words running wild in my mind. I ended up somewhere I thought I would never come to again.

Niall's apart and before I knew what I was doing I was knocking at his door.

After a few seconds the door swung open to reveal Niall. Once he realised it was me I could see relief and shock written all over his features.

"Ella, what are you doing here?" He asked before I noticed a figure standing behind him.

It was that girl I saw him with on Valentine's Day at Target.

"Um, you know what. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have come. You have company and you probably didn't want to be bothered." I rambled before I rushed away. I just couldn't stand the thought of him with someone else but I know that he has to move on. I know that he won't always be waiting for me. I know that if I run to him everytime I have problems and something happens between us tat I would just be toying with his emotions. I couldn't do that to him.

"Ella, wait!" Niall's voice yelled after me and I could hear his footsteps quickly catching up to mine. "Ella!" He yelled and I could tell he was only feet away and I went down the stairs instead of the elevator.

"Fuck, Ella! Just wait and talk to me! Let me explain!" He yelled just before I tripped. 

I started tumbling down a flight of stairs before hitting soild concrete. I winced in pain trying to sit up and I could see Niall trying to rush to my side. I placed my hand on my forehead and saw blood as I examined it.

"Fuck." I whispered to myself.

"Oh, God. You're bleeding." Niall said as kneeled down in front of me. "I'm fine just help me get up." I said avoiding eye contact with him. He slowly slid his hands arms both of my arms watching as he did so before lifting himself from the ground and me with him.

"Okay. Are you sure that you're good?" He asked as I finally made eye contact with him. It felt like I haven't looked into his ocean blue eyes in years. I miss them, I miss him.

"Uh, yeah. I should get going." I said shifting a littleout of his touch and I winced at the pain. My whole body felt ached and throbbed. "Let me take you to my place and we can clean you up." He offered and I tried to walk away but failed miserbly. But he caught me.

"What about that girl you were with?" I asked looking into his eyes. "Don't worry about her." He said before suddenly swepping me up bridal style and I winced.

"Oh, I-I'm sorry. I didn-," I cut off his rambling. "No, it's fine." I assured him with a smile before barrying me head into his chest.

"Let's go, Superman." I whispered making him laugh before he starting to walk us back up to his apartment.

When we got to his apartment that mysterious bruntte was gone but neither Niall or I said a word about that. He softly and carefully layed me on his couch.

"I'm gonna go get the first-aid kit." He notified me before disappearing. I took in my surroundings and nothing had really changed except the bookshelf that was behind me on the left.

I stood up wincing and supported myself with the edges of the couch. I scanned through all the book titles and they were mostly books that I've fell in love with. I spotted one of the books hanging out, Pride and Prejudice. It also had a piece of paper sticking out of it. I took it from the shelf and examined the book. It looked slightly worn out and I could tell that he's read it many times. I then slid the paper out of the book and slowly unfolded it.

There was a polaroid picture. It was of him and I. We were happy and laughing. 

I could feel a smile growing on my face. I then turned my attention back to the piece of paper. I could tell that he was crying because of the smudges and the way his writing shook every now and then.

Dear Ella,

  I know that they might not let you read this and that you probably will never remember this or who I am. But I'm writing this to you anyway in hopes that it will trigger something. I love you, Ella and I hope that you're still reading this. I'm going to tell you the story behind the photo that went along with this letter.

One day after a very stressful day of testing you came to me and just broke down while pouring your heart out. You were talking about all the pressure you felt from your mom, friends, classmates, and teachers(including me). We sat there for at least an hour with you in my arms, you sobbing, pouring your heart out, and me trying to comfort you. In the end you stop crying because of some chessey joke I told you. Then we decided to go bowling and we spent hours and hours there competing against each other. Of course, I ended up being the champion! We soon found out that there were go karts there and we rushed over to them. It was really fun. The guy there kept telling us to stop bumping into each other but we just laughed it off. Then kept doing it. In the end this kid with long hair beat us but we didn't care. All that mattered was that we were together. We went back inside and played laser tag. We ended up playing against each other but that made it even better. I gotta say that you were a fast one but you were kinda being a show off! But I was, too. I'm awesome like that. Your team won and I gotta say that I was a little jealous. This girl from your team came up to me and call me a sore loser. She was a bit mean but all you did was laugh and tease me about it. I went along with it and we both ended up in a fit of laughter. After we calmed down this really cool hippy guy came up to us and sad that we looked like a coooooool couple. He also explained that he took a picture of us and give us the polaroid. You couldn't stop talking about how cool it was and 'till this day I can still hear your exact words.

By the time I finished the letter there were tears streaming down my face and my tears slowly fell on the paper where Niall's tears had smudged his writing. I could only remember it in sort flashes. I could only imagine how he felt writing this, looking at this picture of us.

"Ella?" Niall's voice asked from right behind me. I know that he knew what I had in my hand and that I had read it.

"Niall, I'm sorry but I just had to. But why didn't you show this or give this to me?" I asked in confusion. "It was Liam." He softly answered and I automatically understood. He would have ripped it up or burned it like he did with Niall's other letter.

We stood there in silence for a few minutes and I knew that he was looking at me. I just couldn't. I kept my eyes on the floor.

"Sometimes I wish that we would have never met so I could save you the pain." I said quietly before looking up and into his eyes.

"What about you? What about your pain and hurt?" He asked so much emotion that it was unreadable. "You shouldn't even care." I said in an even quieter tone before limping away from him and for the first time he didn't come after me. I was honestly a little disappointed. I felt like something cracked and it was getting harder to breathe.

I opened the door and looked back at him. He stood there with his arms crossed sternly watching me. He didn't make a move even though my heart ached for him to come after me. I slowly looked down and limped out of his apartment.

*~*

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