Suffocating

III

The voices were enough to make me bleed again today.

I haven't bled in 5 months.

But they overwhelm me.

The doctors try to help,

but they only make it worse.

For the voices,

they thrive on what the doctors say.

It's just a disease.

You're mentally ill.

They will go away.

Think happy thoughts.

The voices tell me that they think- no,

they know something is wrong with me.

I am a mess.

I am worthless.

I am pathetic.

I am...

hi again, she says, sitting down next to me.

I wave and try to fake a smile,

but she sees right through it.

I know you might feel sad or alone,

but I'm here if you want to talk about it.

My breath quickens.

The voices are screaming.

She's lying.

She just wants you to go ahead and kill yourself already.

She's just being polite,

she doesn't actually care about you,

no one does.

I.

Can't.

Breathe.

Panic attack, I think.

She knows.

okay, just breathe, she says holding my shoulders to keep me from shaking.

I shake my head.

Just let the voices kill me already.

She continues,

I know what it feels like,

suffocated by your own mind,

but you fight,

and you win.

and then you can finally,

b r e a t h e.

The voices are gone.

For now.

She made them disappear.

She lets me breathe.
-Trace

•••

Three chapters. One night.

I love this story

even if no one reads it

Love,
Kate