James Hobbs' School for Troubled Boys (Old Version)

JHS4TB: Chapter Four

JHS4TB: Chapter Four

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Lucian’s P.O.V

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            I sat on my bed with Louis, who was painting my fingernails black as I thought about what outfit I was going to wear on my date tonight. Cole said we were going to go to the movies and going to each somewhere, I was excited about going on a date but I was really upset that Zayn hasn’t looked at me much this week. I surely thought Zayn would show some reaction but he hasn’t, he’s even been sharing Ed’s bed with him, so he didn’t have to sleep above me. Everyone was going with me to my aunt’s house tomorrow, including Zayn, who was going because Ed was making him and it was a good way for him to buy cigarettes. Louis finished my nails as Zayn walked into the bedroom; he looked at us and smirked at my nails, before he turned towards Louis. “Have you seen my leather jacket? I am meeting this sophomore guy, who I think is going to confess to me, so I want to look threatening. I like it when the squirm.” My heart panged at Zayn’s words, he was going to meet up with another guy, is he going to find another fuck buddy?

            “Uhm, I think your jacket is hung up in the shoe closet, that’s where I saw it at last.” Zayn nodded his head at Louis, before he left the room to search for his jacket; I stood up and walked over to my dresser. “I think it’s a good thing that Zayn is going to meet up with this guy, Zayn needs a boyfriend, somebody to love all his weird ways. The he is meeting up with is a cutie, its Will Jackson, that guy you sit with at lunch sometimes?” WillJackson was this friendly guy, he had blonde hair and he was a lot taller than me, he had this mysterious side though. He was like the American version of Zayn, they would be perfect together and it made me punch my dresser, causing it to hit the wall. Louis stopped talking and stared at me wide eyed, he was probably confused of where my anger came from but I didn’t stay looking at him long as I pulled out a clean pair of underwear out of a drawer. I swapped out my underwear, not caring that Louis was still staring at me as I did so; I then pulled on a pair of black skinny jeans. I pulled a scoop neck black t-shirt and a red plaid shirt on over it, I decided you couldn’t go wrong with plaid or maybe you could, but I was going to wear it anyway. I fluffed my hair and lined my eyes in black; I turned to Louis, who nodded his head at my appearance. I was nervous about going out with Cole, not because I like him a lot (I did, just not as much as I like Zayn), I was worried I would do something stupid and he would not want me anymore.

            I’ve been having all these contradicting thoughts and feelings, I wanted to go on this date with Cole because I wanted to feel loved, I wanted a boyfriend. But in my head, I keep thinking about how much I want Zayn, how happy I was just sneaking around with because at least, he was fucking me. It’s so hard to try to stop loving someone, especially when they are as hot as Zayn is, it’s so hard. I keep feeling happy about going on a date, then I am sad because I will no longer be with Zayn, then I am excited because no one’s taken me on a date before, then depressed because Zayn won’t be having sex with me anymore, I AM FEELING SO BIPOLAR! I slipped on a pair of sneakers and stared at myself in the mirror, I thought I looked good but I had thought I looked good when I was with Zayn also, but that was never enough for him. All the rest of the boys (but Zayn and Louis) were in the tiny living room watching Adventure Time and I was so jealous, who doesn’t love AT? They all commented that my outfit looked nice, even Niall and Harry, who were starting to really fit in with us. I said my goodbyes to everyone and I left to meet Cole at the front gate, I almost made it there completely happy, until I saw Will and Zayn making out leaning against a tree. It was like my entire world stopped, seeing Zayn doing something like that with someone who wasn’t me, it was heart breaking. I love him and I am sure he knows that too, but he never wanted to date me, I was always just a play thing to him. Now, that I was trying to be in a relationship with someone, he was going to move on and throw me aside. It hurt, it hurt so bad but I continued to walk towards the gate where Cole was waiting for me, I was going to go on this date even if it kills me.