Unexpected

Chapter 4

Loki woke to a pounding headache. He sent a hologram to request his breakfast brought to his room as well as a tonic to help him recover. In the meantime, he stretched out in bed groggily gazing at the ceiling. Arms folded above his head, his mind drifted.

What time is it?...

It's 9a, suppose I didn't sleep much...

Weird dreams...

What happened last night?...

Oh, Sif came to my room...

SIF came to my room!...

Sif...

His eyes fell closed again as he replayed to imagine of her standing drenched in the dining room. Warm light dripping down her body like honey. The look of helplessness on her face made him smile. It was a helplessness that only he had to the power to fix. Unhurried, his hand brushed across his face, trailing down his chin across his collar bones toward his stomach.

It made him happy to imagine keeping her like that. He could have shrouded them in a spell to blind them from prying eyes. He'd had all the control and could have had his way with her. His hand snaked its way beneath the thin sheet of fabric, fingers grazing stubble before reaching his base.

She would have been helpless, bewildered, unable to get anybody's attention besides his. She would have become angry, threatening. In her discomposure, it would have been easy to manipulate her. She would have bent to his will and liked it. His long fingers floated across himself, contact being minimal but satisfyingly sensitive. He let out a pleased exhale, smirking a little and lifting his hips into his own touch.

He would have teleported to her, startling her further, taking the sword from her hand and deleted the flimsy barrier of clothing between them in a seamless motion. She would be soft, stunned and angry, but too taken aback to act as she normally would. He imagined that the anger building behind her eyes would be good tinder for fooling around. His stroked himself delicately, paying particular attention to his peak as it lifted the sheet off his lower body.

He was pleased with himself in this fantasy, strong and in control. He let his head fall to the side, opening his eyes to a hologram he cast in front of himself. Its form changed from that of his usual self into the image from his head. Sif's bare body stood beside his bed looking down at him with disdain and annoyance. He smirked lazily holding out his other hand to her.

"come..." His voice was hoarse and groggy, but he beckoned her to lay beside him all the same. Tentatively, she sat on the edge of the bed and glanced down at his hand beneath the covers. Loki smiled wickedly and in an indulgent act of vanity shifted his perspective to her point of view. He then wanted to see himself more than her. His illusion of Sif looked from the steady bobbing hand beneath the sheet, up across his own bare chest to his face. His arm was still outstretched toward her, but now laid limp on the bed between them. His eyes were now dim and detached with the green haze of casting magic clouding his vision.

But it was his face that took him aback... He'd watched himself in intimate moments from the perspective of holograms before, but he'd always been with someone in those moments. And because he was preoccupied by the task of pleasing or being pleased by another, he found that was always more focused. But now, he was alone and was touching himself to an illusion of someone he knew. His face looked distorted. His smile had sagged, and his face looked numb, dead. His illusion leaned in closer, watching his own eyes twitch in effort to follow the face of projection as it came nearer to his. He was curious about himself; he couldn't understand what he was feeling.

The illusion reached its hand to his face resting just atop his skin. Its expression had softened some, though she still looked irritated. His breathing caught in his throat before letting out a pained sigh. Loki's hand was still working, all be it with less enthusiasm than before. His vanity was fading away. He didn't look as attractive as he hoped he would look in a moment like this. He looked broken.

It was in that moment that something strange happened, his curiosity overtook him and without thinking, the illusion leaned in closer, nearly face to face and whispered, "I love you...". He watched his own mouth fall open, his eyes filled with tears and his breath was lost again as his hand fell flat from himself, leaving himself utterly unsatisfied as three loud knocks came from his bedroom door.

With a desperate gasp for air, Loki flung himself out of bed shattering the illusion. He panted and stumbled in place while the small pool of tears was flung from his eyes onto his cheeks. What had he just done?

"My Lord?" came a muffled voice from the other side of the bedroom door, "your breakfast is here. Shall I leave it outside?"

Loki summoned a robe and took several deep breathes on his way to the door. He composed his face and took one more breath through his nose, before opening the door and ushering the servants inside with a tight smile and small bow, "Good morning, please put it over by the table there. Thank you."

The servants wheeled his breakfast in on a cart and laid out the table setting while he went to the bathroom to get ready for the morning. Once out of sight, Loki again found himself taking deep breathes. He leaned against the countertop and looked at his face in the mirror. He looked normal at least, but he felt strange. He felt dirty. He was unhappy with what he had just done and felt an uncomfortable tightness in his stomach.

The doors to his bedroom were closed by the servants as they left. Loki took several minutes freshening up before reappearing in his daywear. He went to sit at the table and eat breakfast when he noticed a note laying on his plate.

Loki,

Meet me in the training courtyard at noon, I wish to know the full extent of your powers.

Sif

His heart stopped at sight of her name. A tight cold feeling pulled at his forehead, he felt like he'd gotten caught doing something bad. In a way he had. Loki brought his hands to his face to push the hair out of his face. He took one last long inhale before crumbling the note in his hand and eating his breakfast. His head hurt. At least they brought the tonic.