The Unknown

Deserving

I didn't want to make it too angsty and drag it out more, so here is the long awaited confession 😍

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Mu Ren's foot slips from the footrest of the barstool and he falls backward but is saved in time from hitting the floor by Li Cheng.

Mu Ren balances himself back on his feet and starts laughing hysterically. "Good one. You are joking, right? Of course, you are joking." He shakes Li Cheng off of him.

"TengTeng, I'm not joking. I'm serious." Li Cheng says.

"I...I need water." Mu Ren sputters an excuse as he basically runs to the other side of the counter and buries his head in the refrigerator. He gulps down a bottle of water and continues to stare into the refrigerator. He stays that way for a while, puts the empty bottle back in its place, and turns around slowly avoiding Li Cheng's eyes. Smiling, he picks up the coffee mug from the counter, leaves it in the sink, and finally turns to face Li Cheng.

"Get some sleep, Li Cheng. We'll talk in the morning."

"Don't walk away, TengTeng." Li Cheng grabs his wrist to stop him from leaving.

"Let me go, Li Cheng. It's late and you still seem drunk." Mu Ren snaps his hand back.

"TengTeng, I'm sorry.

"For God's sake, stop saying Sorry! Do you even remember how many times you've apologized to me tonight?"

"What do I do then? Tell me what to do." Li Cheng implores.

"Li Cheng, why are you doing this to me? Do you even understand what you are doing to me?"

"I...I don't know, TengTeng. I know I shouldn't have said anything. I should have kept my feelings to myself like I have been doing all this time."

"A...al...all this time?" Mu Ren stutters.

"I know you will hate me after this. I know this is not what you want to hear from me...or from any other guy after...especially after what you went through. But what do I do TengTeng? I tried...I tried everything I could...I tried dating someone else, I tried to get over these feelings, I even stayed away from you. But I can't...I just can't do this anymore. I know I'm wrong. Please don't hate me, TengTeng. You and our friendship are more important to me than the mere idea of you returning my feelings. I don't want to lose you."

Mu Ren's head is suddenly spinning. He can't believe he is hearing this. His heart is thundering in his chest as though it would jump out of his body. He had dreamed...hoped against hope...that this would somehow happen one day...that Li Cheng would return his love...but this just seems like it...a dream...an alcohol-induced one at that. Maybe he's the one drunk, maybe he's the one dreaming, maybe this will all be over when he wakes up tomorrow morning and Li Cheng doesn't remember any part of this.

Mu Ren is lost in his thoughts when the sudden touch of Li Cheng's hand on his face brings him back to reality. Li Cheng is gently stroking his thumb against Mu Ren's cheek. "TengTeng, say something please."

Mu Ren takes a step back until he is out of reach from Li Cheng.

"I...I need to sit down."

He walks over to the couch and crashes down. Li Cheng follows him and sits next to him.

"Why?"

Mu Ren's question confuses Li Cheng.

"Why? You want me to tell you why I like you?"

"Mn."

"Something happened, TengTeng. I don't know when or how or even why. It happened and I don't know what to do about it now."