𝐫𝐢𝐩 𝐦𝐞 𝐚𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭 | 𝐯.𝐡

messed up.

emergency rooms always smell the same, a mix of the despair of the sick, and well, vomit.

i scratch at my hands in my lap, forcing myself to look down as the faint beeps and alerts sound throughout the waiting room.

blood is produced at the skin that joins each finger, and i almost...like the feeling that should be painful. i think i deserve to be pained.

vision blurry, i manage to blink through the tears, turning to my left to see archer scrolling through his phone beside me.

"hi" i blurt out, unsure of what to say. i don't even remember him coming. i don't even remember what happened much.

"you haven't said one word since i got here, lana." he places his hand on my back, and i shudder at the touch.

archer's eyes soften, although they look worn out and sore, almost like he's been rubbing at them for too long.

"oh"

"oh indeed" his face breaks out into smile.

"how are you doing?"

"still in shock" i utter, not wanting to engage in conversation but doing so anyway. archer won't stop until he understands me fully anyways.

"aunt elizabeth's at work, by the way"

"does she know?" i pull my the hood of my hoodie over my head, reclining further into the uncomfortable seats they have for us waiters.

"yeah, she said she'll come once she's out of work"

"thanks for coming archer" i barely whisper, my voice low and rasp and overall just tired.

"of course, lana-jane. i'm your brother and i love you" archer wraps his arms around me, letting my rest my head in the crook of his neck as i left the tears out some more.

"i love you too, but don't use my full name so often" archer thankfully brings some laughter out of me.

and just as i lift my head up and pull away from my brother, i meet eyes with minah and audrey.

i gasp, eyes scanning over the worn out girl.

i've never seen minah like this before, dark hair messy, eyes puffy and red, and cheeks streaked with tears that look like they've been flowing for years.

i rush over to them, immediately wrapping my arms around her, only to receive no response, and a monotone expression.

audrey glares at me, as i pull away from minah.

"i'm sorry minah, i'm so sorry" i drop to my knees, not caring about any eyes on me.

"where were you? if audrey hadn't arrived i don't know-" tears cut off her low words, as she sobs into audrey's arms.

i glance up at them through my soggy lashes, feeling a hollowness inside my chest.

"i think it would be best if you just went home, lana. your not making anything better for anyone" i nod, audrey's words sting, but i know she's right.

"how's aaron? is he going to be okay?" i rise to my normal level.

"he'll be fine, i guess. i'll let you know tomorrow" they turn and walk down the dark hallway, leaving me to bask in my own mistakes.

i rub at my eyes, wiping the tears away and walking back to archer.

-

"i've messed up so bad archer" i lean against the windows of his car, the rain splattering against the glass.

"you didn't. it's not your fault. but i still don't know what happened"

"aaron tried to- well he- i'm not sure. but he tried to hurt himself" tears well in my eyes at the thought.

aaron is so sweet, so kind. no one would've thought he had his own mind demons to battle, and he lost the fight.

not even minah knew, his girlfriend. not even vinnie. they were too distracted by me.

i'm at fault here.

"where were you while this happened?" he questions.

"at home... with vinnie" i admit shamefully.

"vinnie... vinnie hacker? why were you with vinnie hacker?" he raises his voice a little, startling me.

"we were... busy. my phone was switched off so that we wouldn't be interrupted. then minah called-"

"and you didn't pick up?" i nod.

"after that it's all a blur. i remember vinnie sobbing so hard at the hospital, before you came. i tried my best to comfort him but it was no use. we were both supposed to be there for them but we were busy doing... other stuff"

archer sighs, staring at the steering wheel.

"then vinnie went home, he couldn't bear seeing his best friend like that. that's all i remember really. my headache is messing with my memory, plus it's been like 7 hours since it happened" i glance at the clock, it's 6am.

i've been at the hospital for 8 hours.

"what do you think i should do, archer?"

"well firstly, stop seeing vinnie. it'll make things worse, not only for him but for you aswell. apologise to minah, and just take some time to yourself. that's your best option i think"

he's right. this thing i have with vincent has messed everything up, not only for him but for me too.

i should end things.

-