absence | bench trio (lore)

epilogue

Six months later

Tubbo has spent about 9600 days in limbo

Not far away, what one could barely call a boy, who lost everything, sat on the doorstep of a home that is no longer there. He sighed and stood up, remembering what he was supposed to be doing. He wasn't forgetting things as easily lately, which he liked but was also uncomfortable with. He almost felt guilty for finally feeling the essence of acceptance not too out of reach- it wasn't fair to him or Tubbo, but he did. He walked a rather short walk to what he considered a monument.

The sun was setting and there was a gentle, faintly salty warm breeze. Ranboo smiled as nostalgia rushed over him, and sat down on the oak wood bench as he looked out at the orange glow of the sun just barely peeking over the horizon. He heard a door shut and footsteps, and didn't even bother to turn around, already knowing who it was based on the sound of his feet hitting the ground.

"The sun's almost set already, d-ckhead." Tommy joked. "And don't you pull the 'I'm Ranboo, I forgot, mee mee mee!' card right now, pal. I can see right through your lies!" He said. Ranboo chuckled slightly at his dorky friend.

"Moving on!" He scoffed. "How have you been, boss man?" The mood instantly shifted, but the transition wasn't tense.

"Well, I can't say good yet. But I'm getting near okay, and I think that's progress." Tommy said, taking in the sunset gratefully. "I see anything that reminds me of him and I almost instantly break down in sobs, but other than that I'm doing just great." Ranboo laughed light-heartedly. "So far, my stages of grief have been just depression, depression, depression- which sucks, but little by little it's getting easier to get up in the morning."

"That's good, that's really good."

"Now, I'm just imagining. What could've happened, what we would've done." He shrugged. "It's like- if I had one wish, he'd stay forever." He sighed, seemingly disappointed with himself. He snapped out of it quicker than usual, though. "And you?"

"Worse than last time, that's all I know." Ranboo half-smiled, and Tommy looked at him with worry and sadness in his steely blue eyes. They were bluer now, he noticed. "D-mn it, Toms- we shouldn't be this kind of tired at our age, you know that?" He said sadly.

"Oh, I'm well aware, Boo."

"Like, seriously- how many funerals can one attend before they turn eighteen?" He laughed, but there was not a sliver of joy in his voice. "It'll be okay for a few days and then it hits me again, I stop functioning and everything just falls apart again. It sucks."

"I know..." Tommy said, and ruffled Ranboo's hair endearingly. "He made you feel like you were on top of the world. That's a pretty long way to fall."

"Exactly. It's horrifying, waking up every morning and searching for someone who's not there." Ranboo said, red and green eyes fighting tears. But he wasn't exactly sad- nowadays, tears poured out of his eyes without his permission whenever he even thought of Tubbo. "How am I supposed to be grateful to have survived that night?"

"Hey, woah, woah, woah!" Tommy said, scooting closer to him. "Think about it this way- let's not waste the rest of our lives reminiscing on what could've been, on who we wanted alive and who we wanted dead. We're young, Ranboo." He said, and smiled. Ranboo was shocked to see real happiness in his smile again- he hadn't seen that in almost a year now. "And don't you f-cking forget that!"

"I won't, leave me alone!" Ranboo laughed.

"It's alright, half of me is jealous of you for being able to forget at all." Tommy grinned. "I'm only seventeen and I already feel like a middle aged soccer mom, everything is so stressful and I feel like I need anxiety medications for everything I do." Ranboo looked at the younger for a moment, then burst out laughing. He felt happy, he really did, and he loved it. He didn't feel a sliver of guilt as he laughed.

Tommy noticed, once he had finally stopped laughing, that Ranboo was still staring at him. He was about to make a comment, but then his heart did a somersault when he recognized his expression. It was that same look of profound love that he had given Tubbo, long ago, Tommy would've forgotten all about it if it wasn't the exact scene from that evening. He swallowed thickly, and was so caught off guard that he suddenly began to cry. He had never felt any sort of feeling of acceptance and family like the one he did now. Tommy felt that he finally had a home.

"Tommy, why are you crying?!" Ranboo asked, concern washing over him.

"You- you looked at me like- f-ck!" Tommy exclaimed, half laughing, half crying. He probably looked like he was losing his mind, which he partially was. He wrapped his arms around Ranboo and hugged him.

Things were going to get better, Tommy was sure of it.

Perhaps it was his instincts-

Or perhaps because voice in the back of his head told him so.

I CRIED WRITING THIS ONE- WHEN RANBOO REALIZED TOMMYS EYES WERE GETTING BLUER😭 sometimes i cant handle my own angst this isnt healthy </3

maybe check out the next chapter please maybe!