Things I can't say out loud.

Hate is a strong word; but so is Love.

I hate your eyes. They remind me of a translucent shade of the water, when it's clear and inviting. I hate the crinkle that forms when you smile. I hate that because of only one look you make my knees wobbly and my hands shake. I hate how one stare can make my insides warm and heart ache.

I hate your lips. They're always curved in a smile. I hate how you don't care that they're too pouty for a boy. I hate how you always manage to make me think about them for hours on end. I hate how one smile can put me at ease. No one else but yours can.

I hate your jaw. It's clean and square. I hate the light stubble you sometimes have because it makes you look a hundred times more attractive. I hate that I want to feel the tiny hairs tickle my neck.

I hate your hair and how its disheveled without you caring. Like you just roll out of bed yet it looks perfect. I hate how I want to run my hands through it, it just looks that soft. I hate how you've grown it, I preferred it shorter than it is now. I liked that James Dean look on you better.

I hate your nose. It's razor sharp straight and perfect like the rest of your features. I hate how I don't have a nose like yours but what I hate more is that I can't kiss it like those cheesy couples do.

I hate your ears and how they slightly stick out making me want to pull them and nibble on the end. I hate how you have such beautiful features even for a boy.

I hate your neck and how I'd love to leave little marks on there. I hate that I want to feel your throat muscles relax under my touch. I hate that it's so smooth, and pale. Like marble.

I hate your smell. You smells of burnt sugar and chocolate. I hate that I want to wrap myself in your scent and make it familiar. To make it feel like home.

I hate your voice and how it gives me peace. I hate how I can listen to you sing for hours and never get tired. I hate how I'd rather listen to you sing in my arms than attend my favourite concert. I hate that your voice is thick and dreamy and how much I yearn to hear it. I hate how your voice is the only thing that keeps me from crying during a thunderstorm at 3 am in the morning.

I hate your laugh because it's goofy and carefree. It reminds me of good days and how id like to save it in a jar just so I can hear it when I'm sad. I hate that I want to be the reason you burst out laughing.

I hate your arms because although they aren't toned, I'd like to link mine with yours just to feel your skin against mine. They seem soft to touch, bite even. I hate how I want you to wrap me in them and never let me go. Promise me that you won't walk out again. I hate how I want to lay in your arms and feel them around my waist because they would give me a sense of security. I hate that I want them to remind me of where I really belong.

I hate your hands and how much I want to hold them in mine. I hate your calloused fingers and how much id like to intertwine mine with yours. I hate how they can play the piano and the guitar effortlessly. I hate that I'd love to draw them.

I hate your legs and how long they are. I want mine to cling to yours whilst we lay on your bed in comfortable silence.

I hate how I want you so much that it physically hurts. I hate how vulnerable I feel around you. I hate how whenever you stare, I lose control over myself. I hate that you're making me feel things I thought I wouldn't feel. I hate that I love you so much.

And I hate how you might not ever be mine.