you raise me up || harry potter

chapter 60

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full moon (day 3)

★ by ludovico einaudi★

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It was an odd group that traipsed through the darkness: Snape and Lupin leading with the Petrified Peter Pettigrew, Ron limping along with Hermione at his elbow, and Harry and Sirius bringing up the back. Snape appeared to be in a murmured conversation with Lupin of which Harry could hear nothing about. Knowing Snape, he probably had a few spells up his sleeve to prevent other people from listening in, although Harry had never heard of such spells. Harry wondered what they were talking about.

Hopefully how much they'd like to dismember Pettigrew before handing him over to Dumbledore, Harry thought with savage satisfaction at the thought of retribution. The reality of the situation hadn't quite set in yet, and his surroundings felt slightly hazy, as though in a dream. The last two big traumatic events of his life, he had lost consciousness before any of the shock could register. He didn't look forward to having to actually facing the gravity of the situation with a clearer head. 

And why did they all happen right at the end of the school year? It was as though the universe were conspiring against him every time final exams were on the horizon.  

Harry felt a tap on his shoulder and abruptly turned around with a flinch to see what it was. Sirius Black raised his hand away from Harry, looking alarmed. 

"Sorry," he croaked. "My fault... I forget you spent your whole life thinking that I... that I betrayed your parents. Don't blame you if you don't feel comfortable around me."

Harry awkwardly turned his head back around to face the front. "I didn't spend my whole life thinking that," he said, not sure what else to say. "Just a year. I didn't know anything about magic until I came to Hogwarts."

"Oh," Sirius said softly.

"And I don't," Harry rushed to say, looking back at Sirius again. "Feel uncomfortable, that is."

Sirius gave him a small but grateful smile. "Listen," he said, briefly glancing down at the ground, "I just thought to ask... once I get my name cleared and all... I have a place, you know. Not the most cheery, mind you, it'll need some fixing up, and we gotta get that damned house elf out of there, of course, but—"

Sirius sounded like he was rambling now, and Harry had no clue what he was trying to get at, but he waited patiently for Sirius to get to his point.

"What I'm asking is," he said, clearing his throat, "Once all this mess is cleared up, would you like to come and live with me? Seeing as I'm your godfather and all."

The warmth that suffused Harry at these words was unexpected and sudden. "What, live with you?" Harry asked, almost cracking his head on the ceiling. 

"Of course, I didn't think you'd want to," Sirius said hurriedly. "You have a family, I obviously wouldn't take you away from them—"

It was an alien feeling, to be wanted. To feel wanted. It was an indescribable feeling, so overwhelming it almost hurt. 

Harry almost said yes. He almost shouted his acceptance of the offer. But alongside his desperation, there was an equal amount of hesitation. Why should he hesitate? Here was someone who wanted him—and not just any someone, his godfather, for Merlin's sake—and he should be rightfully celebrating.

In all his thirteen years of life, Harry could count on one hand how many people made him feel truly wanted, and truly cared for. And although Sirius Black had very, very recently made that list, there was a problem. Severus Snape was also on that list.