you raise me up || harry potter

chapter 35

»»————-　song:　————-««

nuvole bianche

★ by ludovico einaudi ★

♢ ♢ ♢

To despise Harry Potter had been part of a plan. A decision made far before the boy had ever come to Hogwarts.

It wasn't all a front. It was easier to hate him when he looked so much like James Potter, right down to the glasses. The Dark Lord would like that, the idea of revenge. He would invade Snape's mind, see James tormenting Snape, then see Snape tormenting Harry Potter, and the Dark Lord would laugh and call it fitting.

But if Dumbledore said Voldemort was coming back, he was coming back. And so Snape had to be prepared. It was easier to lie if you half-believed the lie, anyway. He could have looked the Dark Lord in the face and said, "I despise Harry Potter with all the marrow in my bones," and it would have been true.

Snape could no longer say that he despised Harry Potter with all the marrow in his bones. It was hard enough to hide Lily away from the prying fingers of Voldemort's Legilimency—Harry Potter would just become one more liability when the Dark Lord returned.

Love was a liability.

So when the boy said, "I mean, I trust you. I do," Snape knew he had lost his touch. He knew he had an odd look on his face, but what did he care? What did he care that he wasn't hiding away all the important emotions?

Someone else had said that to him, once. Not many people trusted Severus Snape. But one person had.

♢

"Are you sure about this?" Snape shouted from below the tree.

"Positive!" Lily shouted back. "It'll be like landing in pillows!"

"I've only tried catching rocks and stuff," Snape said worriedly. "I don't know if I can catch you with magic, and from so high up!"

"If I break my leg, I'll just tell my parents I slipped from the tree and my accidental magic didn't come through," Lily said dismissively. "Come on! You wanted to practice your wandless magic so you wouldn't get caught by the Ministry, didn't you?"

"You're such a Gryffindor," Snape muttered, stomach lurching at the thought of Lily breaking her leg. "Shouldn't we keep pillows here or something just in case?"

"Mum and Dad will ask what for," Lily said.

"You could lie," Snape suggested.

"Oh, I can't do that!"

Snape almost pointed out to her that she was fully ready to lie to her parents if she was injured, so what was another lie? But Gryffindors seemed to think differently than Slytherins, so he dropped it.

"I trust you, Sev, I do!" Lily trilled. "I won't blame you if anything bad happens. But if it works, it'll be wonderful!"

To be trusted was a wonderful thing. So Snape stepped forward, as though under the Imperius Curse, powerless to go against Lily's wishes...

After Lily came back from the hospital, Snape had been sick with fear. When he was finally saw her again, he didn't rush forward. He lingered by nearby, wondering if Lily would go back on her words and hate him after all.

"I only sprained my arm, Sev," Lily said, laughing. "Bummer. If I had broken it, it could have been my very first broken bone!"