you raise me up || harry potter

chapter 36

»»————-　song:　————-««

anger

★ by sleeping at last ★

❝ like wildfire,
it starts in my chest...

the silence grows louder,
ringing out in my head. ❞  

♢ ♢ ♢

It was definitely strange, having Snape sit in front of him and watch him open the letter, a little like his privacy was being invaded. 

But Harry knew why he asked him to stay. He didn't think he could bear it if he opened the letter and it said "dead" and he was all alone. Any company was good company, even Snape's. 

He woke up. Though I doubt you'd care. 

Thanks for nothing. Don't bother coming.

Petunia

Harry's fingers shook, and the letter slipped from his fingers. Snape looked vaguely alarmed, so Harry shook his head. "He's alive," he said. "He woke up."

Snape nodded. "That's encouraging," he said.

Harry felt such a strange, profound relief. He wouldn't have to do anything for the Dursleys after all. He wouldn't be indebted to them. They already held their "kindness" of taking him in over his head. He didn't need them holding this over his head, too. But...

"I want to visit him," Harry blurted out. "I need to."

Snape didn't look surprised. There was a gleam in his eyes that told Harry he had made the right decision.

♢

Dudley still looked like a complete mess, but the bruises were yellowing and his eyes were open. He was awake.

Snape had to pull a few strings with the hospital reception, and Harry had to make sure Petunia and Vernon weren't around before entering the room. He didn't much want to think about how they'd react, Harry in the same room as their precious Dudley (He made Snape wait outside).But Harry had to see for himself.

Dudley looked up nervously when he heard the noise, twitching a little. To be beaten up must have been a traumatizing experience, Harry thought, and was careful not to approach Dudley or crowd him.  

"Oh," Dudley grunted, not looking very relieved. "W-what are you d-doing here?"

"Your mum sent me a letter to tell me you were awake," Harry said. "I came to visit you once before, but you were... unconscious, then." Why was Dudley stuttering so much? He couldn't possibly be so scared of Harry. 

"W-why w-would you visit m-me?" Dudley said. He sounded skeptical, but not in a disgusted way.

Harry hesitated. Why did he come? And how could he explain that to Dudley? "You're... my cousin," he said lamely. He'd sooner have Ron Weasley as a cousin, but this excuse was all he had.

Dudley, though, didn't seem to be listening anymore. His chest rose and fell, and for a few seconds, the only sound was the heart monitor and his soft breathing. Harry bit his lip. 

"Is that... that... w-what it f-felt like?" Dudley asked.

"Er... what?"

Dudley turned to look at Harry, though he couldn't move his neck very much. "Is that how y-you felt w-when m-me and P-piers and the others... chased you and w-whatnot?"