pretty boys pretty girl/ a criminal minds fan fic

i promise

warning: mention of SA, Panic attacks
-Spencer's pov-
I sit there with my head in my hands as JJ is rubbing my back, everyone was in distress. JJ pulls his head from his hands and puts his head on her chest while she plays with his hair. Spencer's still sobbing as he manages to say
"i never told her I loved her"
JJ looked suprised at first but then said
"you will don't worry she's not dead"
"You don't know that she was really bad in the ambulance"
"spencer" she says as she wipes a tear off his cheek
"i can't imagine what she went through, i feel traumatized by just watching her get tortured"
"she's going to be bad for a while but she's going to get better"
The nurse comes up to the group of people as she says
"are you the group for y/n y/l/n"
Everyone says yes as there all anxious on what the doctor is going to say
"good news the surgery went well she has 3 broken ribs, bad bruising, and head trauma she might forget things but she shouldn't forget major stuff"
everyone gasps in relief, especially spencer.
"is she awake" Penelope asked
"not right now but she should be up in the next week" the nurse says

- time skip to 4 days later -
- y/ns pov-

I wake up to the sound of my favorite show "gilmore girls" was playing, i had an extreme headache and my ribs hurt. I look over at Spencer to find he's asleep, i didn't want to wake him but at the same time i know he would kill me if i didn't. I whisper
"Spencer" as I shake him a little bit
He gets up and sees i'm awake and jumps to me hugging me
"i thought you were dead" he says as a tear falls down his cheek
"well i'm not" i say with cheesy smile
we both look at each other staring with tension
"kiss me dr. reid" i say while looking at his lips
and just like that we kissed, it was passionate and hungry but still slow enough for both of us to enjoy it . We sat there kissing for a couple minutes while sparks fly, till we break up the kiss by smiling.
"y/n i need to tell you something"
"shoot"
"i love you"
the words sent shivers down my spine as I say
"i love you too nerd"
"you don't need to just say it for me n/n"
"i'm not spencer, go tell the others i'm up"

Everyone came in here basically running to see me, i could tell it was night but couldn't tell what time
"hi pretty girl" Derek says as he picks my hand up and squeezes it. I just smile back as everyone just kinda talks to me
"i have some questions so can y'all answer them"
"go ahead sweet cheeks" Garcia says
"okay first off what time is it"
Everyone laughs and JJ says
"2 am"
"okay second how long was i asleep"
spencer looked at me and said
"4 days"
"goodness i'm lazy"
everyone just laughed and had fun.

once everyone left to go to there hotel rooms spencer stayed with me and i decided to talk with him
"hey spence can we talk"
"yeah sure" he says readjusting in his chair
"you know none of this is your fault right"
"if i were with you none of this would have happened"
"that's not true spence he probably would have still
taken me at some point"
"i guess"
"second, who watched when i got assaulted " i said as a tear fell down my cheek
"everyone had to watch at first in case but when the sexual assault happened just me, Hotch, and emily"
"you didn't need to watch that neither did hotch nor emily, i'm so sorry spence"
"why are you apologizing"
"because that can be traumatizing spence even if your not the one being hurt"
"you have no part on what he did so i don't want to hear you apologizing"
"spence I tried so hard to beg him to turn off the camera but he wouldn't" i started saying as more tears fled
"i know you did" he said as he hugged me
"There never going to look at me the same"
"i promise we weren't looking anywhere but your face and the surroundings"
"how did Morgan take it" i said knowing Derek was going to beat up this son of a bitch
"he got mad and when you were in the ambulance apparently he punched him but he has a death wish for him"
i just chuckle, i'm kinda embarrassed but i couldn't show Spencer that.
"I should have stayed silent y'all shouldn't have to hear my scream"
He looked at me confused and almost angry for me saying that
"y/n you were getting raped nobody blamed you for anything you did"
"spence"?
"yes princess"
"when he was beating me and stabbed me all i could
think about was you, to be strong for you"
He just looked at me with tears in his brim as he kissed me. It wasn't as fast as last time, it was slow and comforting as if it's to cheer me up.
the next day
I close my eyes trying to get some sleep after being up for almost 24 hours straight, but when I closed my eyes I see his face. I start breathing through the dream but I can't help it. I feel a panic attack coming along and I wake up and trying to breath through it but I couldn't. My legs started shaking and I felt helpless as I felt as if i can't breath, I didn't want to wake up Spencer but it was inevitable I start squeezing his hand as I gasp to breath and tears flooding from my eyes. Spencer wakes up and immediately wrapping me with his arms and telling me
"it's okay y/n breath your alright i'm here your safe"
His voice started calming me down but not enough so that the panic attack stopped. I still continued to gasp to breath as spencer grabbed my cheek and started whispering the same thing to calm me down. Eventually I got myself together, immediately feeling embarrassed and hid my face in my hands.
"no no y/n it's okay there's no need to be embarrassed"
"you weren't supposed to see that" i say
"y/n how long have these been happening"
"3 months but i'm fine i promise"
"y/n you promise me when things get bad you will tell me"
"i promise"

author note: sorry this is kinda a sad chapter