Recuperation

Protective

Justin's pov 

Do you ever get that feeling that you don’t even know what it is you are actually feeling? 

And then all of a sudden it just hits you out of absolutely nowhere, and then this overwhelming sadness rushes over your entire being.  

Then you feel discouraged, upset, hurt and just completely hopeless and then you feel nothing, completely numb.  

This is exactly how I am feeling right now, as Jason lay here asleep in my arms. Once he had cried out those few words, he quickly cried himself to sleep, clinging onto me as if I was just going to disappear any second.  

I couldn't sleep and I don’t think I would be able to properly for a while. 

How could someone be as cruel as to do that to a child? To anyone.  

And I simply couldn't believe that I thought my problems were bad, when Jason has been going through so much worse than I have. What I have been through has been nothing compared, It cant even compare to that.  

I feel so shocked and overwhelmed with what had come out of his mouth and more so because I never thought that Jason could have gone through something as horrible as this.  

He has always been so happy around me, so carefree and loving but then when I think about it when he was bullying me and he would make me look into his eyes, I could see how utterly broken he looked. 

I could see all the hate, the trauma, the pain there but I always thought that those emotions were to me, I thought that he was looking at me with those emotions and that just makes me look selfish. 

I looked down at Jason with silent tears running down my face as I took in his broken appearance, Underneath his eyes were all red and puffy, his bottom lip was pouted out and trembling as he slept, he was whimpered and turning a little every few minutes or so, he had one of his hands pulled up underneath his chin with the other gripping onto my hip tightly and his legs were curled around my own.  

There were tear trails on his cheeks and he kept sniffling and even though I found it really cute it was breaking my heart with every passing second that I looked at him.  

"Oh Jason." I whispered running my fingers through his hair making him whimper.  

Lifting my free hand up, I wiped my tears trying to keep my sobs at bay just when the door practically flung open making me jump.  

I frowned up at the person, glaring like a protective mother bear as the door hit the wall making Jason flinch and let out a cry of what seemed to be pain, in his sleep, but the woman didn't seem to notice my glare.  

It was one of the workers and she held a phone in her hand, looking from Jason to me and then back again before a look of what seemed to be relief flooded over her features. "Your mum is on the phone." She whispered pointing to it before quietly making her way into the room to hand it over to me. 

I took the phone quickly and placed it against my ear hearing my mum crying on the other end, I could recognize her cries anywhere, I have heard enough of them.  

"Mum." I murmured quiet enough so that I wouldn't wake up Jason.  

"Justin, Honey, I miss you, Is Jason there with you?" She spoke in one breath and I nodded as if she could actually see me.  

"I m-miss you too mum and yes he i-is here with me." I replied tracing my fingers over his face as I waited to hear her response.  

"Oh thank god." She cried and I just knew that she had her hand over her mouth from how muffled it sounded, "Is he ok?" She asked and I let out a tiny sigh as more tears fell from my eyes.