Recuperation

Nana

Jason's pov 

"There can be one only you, And baby can never make two, And I know you came here with your crew, but I promise you that it feels like its just us two," I sang quietly while running my fingers through Justin's hair as he slept, I say he is sleeping because I don't like thinking of him in a coma.

"Oh, I don't know what you had planned to do tonight, but I just want to be the one to do you right, we're standing here looking at each other baby eye to eye, and I'm hoping that you thinking bout leaving with me tonight," I carried on tears welling up in my eyes as I lay next to my baby running my fingertips lightly over his face.

"Who said you cant find love in a club? Cause I wanna tell them they wrong, come on just baby, try a new thing, and lets spark a new flame, you gon' be my baby, love me, love you crazy, tell me if you with it, baby come and get it, maybe try a new thing, and lets spark a new flame," I cried as I nuzzled my face into his soft hair that I always wash for him when I give him a wipe over to keep him clean. 

"I cant believe you came here all alone, baby boy, where's your lover? Oh, it don't really matter cause I got ways to get to know you better, baby baby, baby baby, lets make what we got here last forever, Boy cause I don't want to let you go, never." I sobbed clutching the pillow next to Justin's head. 

"That's our song pumpkin," I hummed, nodding to myself as if he actually gave me an answer.

"Remember when I told you I loved you?" I paused licking my dry and chapped lips, "I know you didn't fully believe me, but I do love you Justin, I love you more than anything in this universe and I have never loved anyone before," I mused kissing his cheek.

"But I will make sure you know that I am in love with you, I will do anything and everything for you to believe me, if you want me to jump twenty meters into the air, I'll find a way, if you want me to walk around the earth and back to you, I'll do it, you name it ok?" I whispered through my cries of ultimate pain.

"Please come back," I whimpered placing my head on his chest, "Don't leave me on my own anymore, please baby, I need you," I begged wrapping my arm around his hollow stomach so I was cuddled right into him.

"Please." I cried into the darkness of the room.

I don't know what time it is but I know that it is early in the morning and I cant sleep anymore, I mean I sleep but for no more than two or three hours. 

Lacing my fingers through Justin's limp ones, I closed my eyes, the tears still falling through my closed eyelids, but I don't bother to stop them anymore because there is no point, why would I stop my pain from releasing? 

If I don't cry, I'm going to get angry so crying is my best option. I bit my lip and drew circles into the back of his hand and even now with him sleeping goosebumps still rise on his skin when I touch him and that is enough for me to know I still have that effect on him.

When this happened I didn't finish watching that video because I needed to get home, I needed to see that he hadn't have gone through with it, I needed to know that he was ok even if my body was telling me that he had already done it.

When Justin was brought in here and he was saved I was hysterical, Chaz came in and he showed me the end of the video no matter how much I didn't want to see it, no matter how much I begged him that I could not watch it he told me that I needed to so I did and I'm glad I did.

The words he spoke are imprinted into my brain, I could recite what he said in that video to me word for word, but they aren't the words that keep me going, the words that do are, 'I w-want to say that, Jason, I f-fell in love with you.' He finally admitted that he loved me too and even though the circumstances were one of the worst they are the words that kept me going, they are the words that made me not give up on myself and him not that I would ever give up on him.