Chapter 10
“How could you? You old slag! How could you do this to dad?” I was shouting at Cam but the tears in my eyes made me sound weak rather than angry.
“Ingrid dear, you weren’t supposed to see this. It’s not what it looks like… well it is, but you don’t understand.” Cam tried to defend herself.
“Oh, I understand alright. You’ve forgotten all about dad. I always was cautious of you and I had every right to be. You cheated him just like you cheated probably the fifty million blokes before him.” I pulled myself together again, the anger showing through now.
“Ingrid you dad’s dead. He’s not coming back; I’m not cheating on him because we aren’t exactly married anymore. I need someone to make me feel the way he used to, he made me feel alive Ingrid.” She pleaded.
Whilst this conversation continued, Cam got out of bed and dressed herself in the pile of clothes on the floor. Her new bloke lie in bed, as if stuck there with glue, dazed at the scene that was evolving in front of his eyes. I marched out of the room, not wanting to face either of them. Feeling betrayed and confused, I shut myself in my bedroom, formed a barricade in front of the door using my desk, closed the curtains and curled up in a ball on my bed.
“Ingrid. We need to talk.” Cam called from the other side of the door. She attempted to get in but due to my desk barricade, she failed.
“I don’t want to talk to you. I never want to talk to you again.” I stated, trying to make my tone sound emotionless.
“Ingrid, you need to meet Jonas before you judge him.” Cam persuaded.
“Is that his name? Jonas?” I tried it out for size and then shook my head. “I don’t want to meet Jonas, I want answers. How long has this been going on for?” I demanded.
“Eight months.” Cam didn’t try to cover it up; she’d given up with trying to hide their relationship from Ingrid.
I was shocked by what Cam had just said. How could I have not found out sooner? I didn’t care about this Jonas bloke. I wanted my dad back. How could Cam move on so quickly? If my dad could see this in heaven, he’d be distraught. And how could Cam do this to Fay and me? Clearly Fay doesn’t know about her new man. My life had gone from beautiful to fuck ugly in a matter of minutes. I no longer felt as if I belonged here, I was being pushed out of this family by the second and I wasn’t taking it lightly.
The sound of footsteps echoed back down the hall as Cam walked away. There was silence.
I couldn’t cope with the betrayal, and my head was spinning way too fast to think straight. I stood up, walked to my wardrobe and opened the door. On the left hand side there were a column of shelves. I reached into the third shelf and pulled out a razor. Then the chicken incident happened all over again. Slice. Slice. Slice.
Half an hour later, I realised that I was sat on the carpet in my underwear with blood splattered all around me. This time both my arms and my legs were covered in fresh cuts and the scars from before showed through in bright pink against my pale forearms.
After taking rather a lot of deep breaths, I found that I was now much calmer than I has previously been. With great care not to make a sound I stood up and collected a large rucksack from the bottom of my wardrobe. I stuffed it with clothes and make up and toiletries before dressing myself in a fresh maroon hoodie and a pair of black skinny jeans. Moving my barricade proved slightly more difficult on the silent side of things, but once I had left the room, I paused out in the hall to make sure no one was awake. Again there was silence.
After shuffling my way downstairs in the dark, I used the dim hall light to write a note on a pad on the coffee table. It read, ‘I’m not coming back; I hope you’re happy. Tough luck if you’re not, that’ll teach you to mess with dad’s feelings. Don’t try to look for me; I’d rather go to a care home. Ingrid.’
I squeezed my way out of the front door, as quietly as I could and started walking down the road. I knew where I was heading. Finding Ryan’s house was easy in the daylight but in the dark I wasn’t so sure. The dark proved rather disorientating but after quite a long while, I spotted the old Harley motorbike stood up on the front path.
Nervously, I made my way up to the front door. I hesitated for a moment, wondering if I should just turn around and go home, but then I remembered that Cam’s house was no longer my home.
“Ingrid. What the hell are you doing here?” Ryan demanded opening the door, after I’d knocked. “It’s three in the morning.”
“Nice to see you too!” I tried to laugh before breaking down in tears. Ryan took me in his arms and I told him the situation.
“Shit.” He said in response. “Hey, why’s your arm all soggy?”
Ryan pulled up my sleeve and saw the mess I had made of it, only an hour earlier. He shook his head at me and embraced me once more in a hug.
“You need to stop doing that.” He said with a concerned tone. “It’s not good for you Ingrid.”
I tried to answer him but my lips were quivering and again I burst into tears.
“It’s okay” He sympathised. “You can stay here, Jordan won’t notice, and if he does he won’t exactly be bothered.
I wanted to thank him but there was only one thought going through my head at that moment.
“I want my dad.” I cried.
