Chapter 7
At the end of the day I walked out of school and stood just inside the gate waiting for Ryan. My hands were shaking and I was terrified of what was to come. I knew that as soon as we started work on the religious education project, I would panic and break down.
“Hey there feisty!” Ryan came up behind me and jabbed me in the ribs making me jump.
“Fuck you Ryan.”
He laughed. “That make you jump a little?” He asked.
“Hmm...” I replied growing quieter.
“Ingrid you’re shaking, what’s wrong? Hey, I didn’t mean to scare you.” I could hear the concern in his voice.
“Err, nothing, don’t worry I’m fine.” I stood up for myself shakily.
“There is something wrong, come on let’s get you home.” He put his arm around me and led me down the road.
We walked down a few little pretty streets before coming to a more built up, less fortunate area. After a while Ryan removed his arm from my waist and took the lead. I followed him up the path of a rather large, old council house.
“Are you sure your parents don’t mind me being here?” I asked.
“Ingrid, there’s something I need to tell you now, before we go in.” He turned round and took hold of my hands, looking into my eyes. “My parents don’t live here. I live with my older brother. My mum died of cancer when I was 7. After her death my dad took to abusing me and my brother. A teacher from my old school found out and had him locked up, so now it’s just the two of us. My brother’s okay though. He’s 19, his name’s Jordan. He basically brought me up. He’ll be home at 6.”
Ryan pulled a key from the front pocket of his backpack, unlocked the door and led the way inside. We entered into a long narrow hallway with blue flowery wallpaper from the ceiling to the floor. Two doors were closed on both the side walls and a narrow staircase lead upwards at the end.
“Not my choice of decor. It’s been here since I was a child. Mum chose it, that’s why Jordan never got rid of it. Come on, we’ll go and sit in the office and get this homework done.” Ryan took the directive role.
He pointed to the narrow staircase and I took this as the suggestion to walk up it. I waited for him to catch up when I got to the top because I didn’t have a clue where we were going. Ryan opened the door from the hall into another fairly good sized room. The walls were painted a rich dark red colour and there was a large old fashioned pane window on the outside wall, giving the room an airy but cosy feel.
“Take a seat and make yourself at home.” Ryan kindly said to me.
A small, old cloth sofa was pushed against the opposite wall from the window so there was a view into the overgrown garden outside. I sat on the left side and placed my school bag down on the floor by the scratched, wooden coffee table in front of me. Ryan grabbed a note pad from the desk at the far side of the room and came to join me on the sofa.
“Do you want to go first then?” He asked. “I want to know more about you.”
“Erm... I’m not sure.” I replied and started to panic again.
“Hey, it’s okay, I know you don’t like R.E. I’m not stupid; I saw your face in the lesson. You were scared.” Ryan shocked me as he said this. “I’m guessing you’re like me, bad experiences with it, am I right?”
“Yeah, you’re right.” I mumbled a reply before completely breaking down.
“It’s okay, let me give you a hug.” He spoke as he pulled me closer to him and put his arms around me. He held me firmly and I cried on his shoulder.
He didn’t let go of me until I’d made an attempt to compose myself. I didn’t want him to let go. I felt safe in his arms and he smelt fantastic.
“I’m so sorry.” I whimpered as he looked into my eyes.
“No, don’t be sorry, it’s fine. Let me guess, your dad right?” He asked.
“Yeah, how’d you know?” I was slightly taken aback by this. How did he know?
“I was called into Miss Honey’s classroom this afternoon. She told me to be sensitive and that she was glad you were with me. She said she was afraid to say too much but it was your dad.” He told me all that he knew.
“Oh.” It was all that would come out of my mouth. I was afraid to start crying again.
Between bursts of tears, I explained to Ryan about my dad and Cam. He nodded and listened without saying a lot, comforting me when I would cry. I found him surprisingly easy to talk to.
“So, I’m guessing from what I know about you, you probably don’t like R.E either?” I asked him.
“Nah, you know what, I’m really not that bothered anymore. I’ve learnt to just get on with it. I mean there isn’t really a lot I can do about it. I don’t want to make a fuss. I don’t want to be remembered by that school, I just want to do my time and move along.” He told me.
“Oh, fair play.” I thought about what he’d just said. “Surely you have some views about life after death based on your experiences though?”
“Not really. Well kind of but not what you’d expect. I’m not the kind of person to dream. I mean I don’t want to hurt you by saying this but I really don’t think there is anything out there. You know, no heaven, no hell. Once you’re gone, you’re gone.” He spoke softly. “I gave up with believing a long time ago. How about you?”
“Well I don’t know really. I’d like to think my dad is happy now. He’s out of harm’s way in a better place; I just haven’t decided where that is yet.” I whispered before another tear rolled down my face.
I closed my eyes and once again was wrapped in Ryan’s arms. He kissed my forehead and I drifted off to sleep.
