shadows over my love letter

20. a white rose

a light peeking through the curtains
dust specks all the way through
reaching my fingers to catch one
one particle stay on the edge of my finger

smile lines appear as I try to hold it
i want to hold a bunch of it
so i spread my hands and blow on them
dust specks scatter all over like polka dots

i stand up to reach out over the window
it is warm to touch
my hands are sweaty but
i try tracing a heart on the glass.

and i lose myself in present thoughts:
"life's on edge,
i'm hanging by a thread"
breathing in an illicit illness
but the little things light up my head

my shaky hands reach out to the coffee
brown heaven touch my lips
and within an blink of an eye
it's bright outside,
sun smiling to it's brim.

painting green lacquer on my fingers
to make it seem like i'm in the moment,
no kids around to comfort me
no lover left to exist.

i wear my best dress
put on my best shoes too
because life's all about being true
true to your mind, your heart, your soul

i breath in life
i hear the birds music too
i chase my younger wishes
i still dream of a perfect fluke

i was meant to live up to my last day
so i must keep in shape for that day too,
i am breathing!
i am alive!

but sometimes, i know i lie,
when i say all that,
but the world's sweetest lies are the ones which keep you awake and alive,
so i must do that too.