I don't show up to work for the next few days. Instead, I remain at home, in pretty much the same position I found myself in when I had last seen Taron. My body was curled in a ball on the sofa and I had been flicking through the tv channels constantly. I couldn't remember the last time I had eaten, and I had hardly slept. I had too many many questions and thoughts running through my head. I felt betrayed, broken and most of all alone.
I pick up my phone and I am met with my lock screen: a picture of Taron and I on the red carpet, instantly making me feel a wave of sadness. I stare at the photo for a moment before checking the time. 4:55pm. The cafe was open for another two hours so I decided to change my clothes and get some air. I needed to see a friendly face, and couldn't think of anyone I wanted to talk to more than Millie. I tie my hair up and throw on some comfy clothes before I pull on my converse and head out the door. I put on my sunglasses so my red and puffy eyes were less visible and make my way to the cafe.
As I open the door I am met by a table of the usual customers who are in at this time; they are usually older women who stay until closing, having a gossip with one another. I smile lightly at them and make my way to the back of the cafe, holding my head down to avoid any other customers. Millie comes out from the back and instantly embraces me in a large hug, which was something I needed desperately. To be honest though I didn't need it from her, I needed it from him.
"How are you?" She asks and she pulls away from the hug, but still keeping her hands on my shoulders. I shake my head in response. I didn't have the words to describe how I was feeling.
"He has told me everything. He has been sat in here everyday waiting for you to walk in" she says, her grip still tight around my frail body. I sniffle in response. "He told you everything?" I ask, pulling away from her grasp and she nods her head. "Yes, he needed someone to talk to and I was the closest he could get to you. Y/n I think you should listen to what he has to say" she says and I close my eyes. I didn't even know if I could face him, let alone hear what he had to say.
"I don't know if I can. I don't even know if he actually wants to see me" I say, my head still facing the ground. "Y/n if he didn't want to see you, why is he out there waiting for you now?". She points to the back corner of the cafe and I lift my head. I am just able to make out the body of Taron. He was slouched in the chair and he had a baseball cap on, covering his eyes.
I take a sharp breath. This was the first time I had seen him since I shouted at him. I didn't even see him when I first walked in. How long had he been there? I close my eyes for a second longer before plucking up the courage to walk over to his table. When I get there I stand, waiting for him to say that it was ok to sit down. He looks up at me, his eyes longing and pained. He looked like he had been crying or he had hardly slept. To be fair the answer was probably both, just like me.
He holds out his hand in the direction of the seat opposite and I quickly pull the chair out and sit. There was a long awkward pause between the both of us; the air was heavy with tension. We both didn't know what to say to each other. We had so much to say, but neither of us could find the right words.
I begin with a simple word. "Why?" I say in despair as I stare down at the table. There was another silence between us. I raise my head to meet his body across the table. His head was low, but when he heard my voice he raised it, meeting my eyes. "I thought you knew" he says softly. "It's all over social media every time me and Emily go out together". He takes off his hat and runs his hand through his hair, before placing the cap back on his head.
"Me and Emily have been having a rough time lately, so that's why I asked you to the premiere instead of her. Mum thought it would be a good idea to have someone I could count on to be there. She wanted me to have a good time and enjoy myself, instead of having a night filled with either arguing or fake smiles. I never intended on this all to happen. I never planned on the kiss. I never planned on falling in love with you. I needed an escape from her and the arguing. You are my escape. You are the best thing that's ever happened to me and I should have never let this happen. Y/n please" he takes a long pause before he takes my hand. I look down at our intertwining hands and let go quickly, bringing my hand close to my body and away from his. Even though I wanted to give him the biggest hug and I desperately craved his touch, he was still in a relationship.
His face turns to a look of despair and he doesn't say anymore. Instead, he grabs his things and makes his way out of the door. Before I have a chance to stop him, he is gone.
