Avengers React To Themselves

Chapter Thirteen. Star Spangled Man With A Plan

"I am so sorry Steve."

"Wait for what? What are we about to watch?" Steve asks worried.

"Umm. Your USO tour..."

Steve's jaw drops. That was the worst thing 03 could ever show anybody. He turns to look over at Nat hoping she still seemed to like him after what she was about to see.

Steve also knew he would never hear the end of this from Bucky, Sam, Clint, or Tony. Tony was going to be the worst. He can already imagine all the new nicknames this is going to give him.

*clip starts*

Steve is getting dressed in his super-hero costume

Steve: I don't know if I can do this. 

Aide: Nothing to it. Sell off a few bonds, bonds buy bullets, bullets kills Nazi's. Bing bang boom. You're an American hero. 

Steve: It's just not how I pictured getting there.

Aide: The senator's got a lot of pull up on the hill. You play ball with us, you'll be leading your own platoon in no time. Take the shield.

"That isn't the right shield." Yelena whispers to Clint, her new best friend. She is very confused.

Steve puts on his helmet as he is pushed onto the stage

USO Singers: Who's strong and brave, here to save the American way?

The women start to sing and dance in the background Steve reads

Steve: Not all of us can storm a beach or drive a tank. But there's still a way all of us can fight. 

Everyone's jaw drops. What is happening? Giant grins spread across people's faces.

Steve looks around and shakes his head, whispering under his breath "this is not going away anytime soon."

USO Singers: Who vows to fight like a man, for what's right, night and day? 

Steve: Series E Defense Bonds. Each one you buy is a bullet in the barrel of your best guy's gun. 

USO Singes: Who will campaign door-to-door for America? Carry the flag shore to shore for America? From Hoboken to Spokane, the star-spangled man with a plan.   

"THE STAR SPANGLED MAN WITH A PLAN" Tony thinks he died and is in heaven. He will not let this go for as long as he lives and also how did he not think of that??

Steve leads a group of men dressed as soldiers in front of a moving image.

Director: Cut. Guys, don't look at the camera. 

Clint snorts. "Obviously guys. That's basic knowledge."

Cuts back to the tour.

USO Singers: We can't ignore there's a threat and a war we must win. 

Steve: Each one you buy is a bullet in the barrel of your best guy's gun.

USO Singer: Who'll hang a noose on the goose-stepping goons from Berlin? Who will redeem, heed the call for America? Who'll rise or fall, give his all for America? Who's here to prove that we can? The star-spangled man with a plan. 

Steve: We all know this is about trying to win the war. We can't do that without bullets and bandages, tanks and tents. That's where you come in. Every bond you buy will help protect someone you love.

A men dressed as Hitler sneaks up on him on the stage.

Kids in USO Audience: Turn around! He's right behind you! 

Peter and Wanda share a look and decide to act like the little kids, they cry out and point as well causing everyone in the theater to laugh and for Steve to ruffle their hair.

Steve: Keep our boys armed and ready, and the Germans will think twice about trying to get the drop on us.

The man attacks him and gets fake-punched by Steve.

USO Singers: Stalwart and steady and true, forceful and ready to defend, the red, white, and blue. Who'll give the Axis the sack and is smart as a fox? Far as an eagle will soar. Who's making Adolf afraid to step out of his box? He knows what we're fighting for. Who waked the giant that napped in America? We know it's no one but Captain America. Who'll finish what they began? Who'll kick the Krauts to Japan? The star-spangled man with a plan!

Everyone sings along with the last line.
"THE STAR SPANGLED MAN WITH A PLAN!"

Clips of Captain America going on tour around America, appears in comics and films, how he's approached by multiple fans, and becomes more and more famous.

"Oh so you're like rich rich. You got all this money and then it sat in a bank account gaining interest and now you're on shield payroll." Yelena points out.

Nobody had ever thought about that before. Steve just blushed, he was well off, that was for sure.

Italy, November 1943, 5 miles from the front.

Steve addresses a crowd of soldiers dressed in his super hero costume

Steve: How many of you ready to help me sock old Adolf on the jaw?

Silence from the soldiers

"oh no." Pepper muttered. Already feeling sorry for Steve.

Steve: Okay. Uh... I need a volunteer. 

Soldier: I already volunteered! How do you think I got here?

the crowd laughs

Rhodey laughs as well. Sam takes one look at Rhodey and cracks up as well. Steve looks at them with betrayal written all over his face.

"You know he is right Stevie." Bucky leans over to whisper to Steve, almost laughing himself.

Soldier: Bring back the girls!

The soldiers cheer for that.

Tony cheers as well, earning yet another flick to the head from Pepper. This time though he leans in to whisper "just joking" before pulling her in for a quick kiss. Yeah... I am whipped Tony thought.

Steve: I think they only know the one song. But um...let me...I'll...I'll see what I can do. 

Soldier: You do that, sweetheart. 

Soldier: Nice boots, Tinker Bell!

The crowd of soldiers laugh

Everyone in the room frowns. That was uncalled for.

Steve: Come on, guys. We're all on the same team here. 

Soldier: Hey, Captain! Sign this!

He stands turns and pulls his pants down and the crowd starts to throw things at Steve.

Steve hangs his head down. Ashamed that his team mates had to see this time in his life. Natasha reaches over to hold his hand , squeezing it. He squeezes back and feels a little bit better about the situation.

Soldier: Bring back the girls!

The women run on stage and the crowd cheers. While Steve exits backstage.

Aide: Don't worry, pal. They'll warm up to you. Don't worry.

Steve is just thankful that is over. He never wants to be reminded of that again but he has a feeling he will never live it down. Especially now that the other guys have seen it.

Okay so the next chapter is different than the rest. It would not leave my brain so I just wrote it down and if you guys like it i'll write more like it (probably about every ten-12 chapters. Maybe 15) but you guys don't i'll let it go.

Just let me know guys!!

You know the drill. Drink some water, eat something green and healthy. Go for a walk?