Eva

Chapter 7

As Astrid leads us to get dinner, my mind blocks out all the conversations and laughers continuing around me. The need in my chest to break down is near, the motions of swaying my head becomes hazy, and my body demands to run and hide.

My tears are on the verge of falling and my breaths quicken. The unreasonable thoughts rush in and I can't shake them. I won't ever be able to.

The truth is, I felt wonderful in that dress but after Alex's reaction, it made me feel stupid.

Like I don't belong here and he's right.

My own father never wanted me.

My new friends don't know me enough to want me to stay.

Even my own mother abandoned me.

I'm not even supposed to be alive, life doesn't welcome me. Let alone moving here and attempting to gain friends; trying to be normal as if I know what normal is. I wasn't raised with normalcy and to ask for that is out of the question.

We were always lower class and if there was any money, it belonged to my parents.

Nothing has ever been mine and nothing will ever be.

How can I pretend to live a life that wasn't meant for me?

I've fooled myself.

Shame on me.

I feel wetness run down my face and everything is a big blur now. I'm ready to leave with full force.

"Whoa, Eva. Slow down! Do you know even where you're going?" Astrid grabs my shoulder and spins me around.

I didn't realize I was walking so fast away from them. I bring my hands up quickly to wipe my tears and appear normal as possible.

Although, my anger wants to snap at anyone. I know sadness has seep through over my face.

Astrid frowns, "Oh Eva, I'm so sorry," She embraces me lightly. "Alex should be the one apologizing but he'd never. Ignore his comments, he's dumb." She groans. She pulls back and takes a look at me, "But you did look good in that dress and I'll be damn if you let some guy determine that. I'll tell him to fuck off."

I give her a soft laugh, "Why is he being a jerk anyways?" I frown a little and whisper, "He doesn't even know me... I mean you two don't either but-"

"He's afraid," Damien states.

"Of what?" I ask right away.

He shrugs, "of a pretty girl."

I don't have a response to his answer, verbally or physiologically. I look at Astrid and she looks conflicted.

A beat goes by before Damien responds awkwardly, "I didn't say it." I give him a what face because he literally just did. He brings his hand up behind his head and scratches it. "I mean..." he starts, "I did but I'm relaying what Alex said. With his eyes."

I scoff and cross my arms. Instead of responding, I think about the times where my parents have called me anything suitable. I only remember a handful of times and younger me wishes to come out, hoping to hear more praises from my parents. I do what I always do- I repress her and tuck her away. Praises are an unfamiliar sound and I don't believe any of it- especially from a rich, impolite boy.

"I saw it. He was smitten," Damien chuckles.

I sigh and Astrid looks over and gives me a small smile. "I believe him. Damien doesn't lie," she says. I loosen my arms and determine if Alex was just putting on an act when Astrid asks, "Let's go to dinner, yes?"