L:)VE

3 - Worry 'Bout Yourself Baby, I'll be good

I was laying in the passenger seat of Gus' car, singing the words to some Green Day song that was blasting from his radio.

Gus was driving, and glancing at me from time to time with a smile on his face, but I could see in his eyes and the way he clenched his jaw that something was up.

I was coming down from my high, so I was becoming aware of my surroundings again. I moved my hand to rest it on Gus' arm. He flinched when I touched him.

"Are you ok?"

He looked at me with his deep, sad, gorgeous brown eyes.

"Worry 'bout yourself baby, I'll be good." He said softly.

I frowned.

He looked at me.

"What is it, Maya?"

"Gus, what's wrong with you?" I whispered.

He sighed and leaned back in his seat.

"The thing is Maya, I'm really not sure."

He crossed his arms over his chest as if he were protecting himself from some horrible foe.

"I just can't seem to be happy. This lifestyle isn't healthy. I don't..." He sighed. "I don't like anything about myself. It seems like I fuck up everything I touch. You and me, we're, I don't know, I guess fuck buddies or whatever, and then I find you half conscious on the bathroom floor geeking on God knows what. I'm not good for.. anything."

I bit my lip.

"Gus.."

He looked away. The moonlight was shining on him, showing his side profile. The bump of his nose, the curve of his chin with his whiskery little beard, the tears welling up in his eyes.

I half-crawled half-stepped across the armrests and settled onto his lap. I wrapped my arms around his lanky frame and buried my face in his neck, breathing in Gustav Elijah Åhr. I felt the tension leave his body as he consumed me in his noodle arms and rested his chin on the top of my head.

"I think I love you." I whispered.

Gus didn't say anything back but I knew he heard me because I felt his face rise into a tiny smile.