Alpha's Faire

XXIX

'What the fuck was that?' Jexanna narrowed her eyes at Shou, waiting for Alpha Stone to be far enough away. 'I don't give a shit if that was a performance or not.'

"We're fine to talk out loud." Shou replied, taking a napkin to his neck. The wound would heal within a few hours completely, but that didn't mean clotting would occur instantaneously.

"Don't change the subject." She growled, anger rising to the surface. "I'm not a little blood whore, don't treat me like one." There were those who loved and got off on having their blood sucked. But that just wasn't Jexanna's thing. And even if she were, that was no excuse for his behavior.

She was a human being, someone with thoughts, and feelings. Not a plaything to show off.

"I know that we agreed to play as if we're in a physical relationship. But that doesn't mean you can claim me, that you can treat me like that." Jexanna stayed on the dhampir. Her gaze burned with a tempered fury. She wasn't going to tolerate this. They were supposed to be equal partners in this. But he had been going off, stringing her along with an irrational cover up. He didn't need to declare that he was interested in being mates. They could have maintained the same cover by just being in a physical relationship. They didn't need strings attached. He didn't need to be jealous. Shou didn't need to act like this.

So what the hell was he doing?

"You're right. " Shou sighed, looking down in deep thought.. "If I promise to be honest, will you hear me out?"

"You mean you haven't been honest till now? Shocking." She raised a brow at the dhampir. He winced at her jab,  allowing a somber look to flash across his face.

"Jex. You know what I mean." Shou stared up at her with deep amber eyes.

"Fine." She sat down next to him. "Talk."

"Would you ever consider getting a mate?" The words caught Jexanna off guard. She narrowed her eyes at Shou who remained still. His amber eyes gazed at her, stayed on her with an emotion that was indistinguishable. His face was sober, solemn, a blank state of neutral emotion. Was it pain? Was it anxiety? Was it hope? She didn't know how to respond or react, except to be honest.

"Shou, I'm not interested in a mate. At least not right now." Not ever. She added in her mind. It was pointless to keep that part out however. She sighed, as she realized he could hear this. "I don't have time to date. And since a Faire doesn't get a mate. They choose one, it's probably not in the cards for me."

"Humans do.Your self-righteous stick-in-the-mud brother, received a fated mate. So why is it so off base for you to have one?" Shou's tone grew uneven, releasing growls of frustration as his face twisted in annoyance. His free hand tightened into a fist on the table. Jexanna had seen him pissed before, but this? This was pain and fury. His usually handsome playful face contoured into almost a state of agony.

"Because I didn't do anything worth deserving a mate, at least one that's gifted to me." Her thoughts couldn't help but travel back to a room filled with fire. The image of her father's deep blue eyes fading into a lifeless state flashed through her mind and her fingers dug into the center of her hands.

"That's a fucking bullshit excuse and you know it." Shou growled low, his teeth gritted together. "You think Aerin hasn't killed anyone? Look here, Princess, your brother hasn't done nearly anything close to what you've done. And the moon goddess still gave him one of the most precious people on the planet as his mate. What makes you think that the moon goddess wouldn't choose to allow you to have a mate? Because you've killed a few people? Because you killed your father? Your self-sacrificial attitude and state of mind is the most annoying thing about you." Shou bit, allowing his initial tone of tempered fury to grow until he was practically seething at her.

Jexanna's eyes hardened as his words cut deeper and deeper into her. He wasn't prone to lashing out. But when Shou did, he had a unique way of effectively striking the other person where it hurt the most. And it hurt, she wouldn't deny it. But he also had been the person to use pain to her advantage. If she was hurt, then use it to fuel her fury. Never just sit there and take it.

"Shou, why do you even care if I have a mate?!" She bellowed at him. "It's not like it would affect you! You have a mate out there, how does my relationship status affect you?"

"Maybe I don't want to find them." Shou's tone dropped all fury, it was calm and collected. It threw Jexanna off, it distracted her so much that she didn't see the next thing that happened. Shou dropped the napkin, gently cupped one side of her face, while raising her chin up. He pressed his lips against hers in a single motion. Jexanna didn't even know how to react. Shou was Shou. Not a love interest, not a potential mate. So he was met with a pair of frozen lips. 

It felt wrong. She couldn't return the kiss. Something inside her just couldn't accept this. Her heart raced, but not because it was set aflutter. It raced because she was anxious, uncomfortable, and most of all heartbroken, not for herself, but for Shou.

Because as soon as his lips touched hers, a flash of silver eyes, burnt umber hair, and tanned skin came across her mind.

Shou broke off and she could see the pain in his eyes. Her heart ached at the sight as a tightened smile came across his full lips.

"So, it's like that." He laughed bitterly. "I didn't even have a chance." His gold eyes became distant as his shoulders rolled. The sounds of bitter laughter made Jexanna's skin grow cold. Tears stung at her eyes.

"It's not." She tried to say. "I'm not even, Stone is the biggest. He's-I don't." Jexanna couldn't even speak, partly because she was crying and partly because she didn't understand.

Why did that man's face flash through her mind?

"You may need to consider the fact that Alpha Stone is more than just an attraction." Shou whispered and then breathed in slowly. He closed his eyes and opened them to a slightly brighter shade of gold. But it still wasn't the same light gold he normally held. "I just had to try, Jex. I'm sorry."

He gently clasped the back of her neck, to kiss the center of her forehead.

"Stop crying." He stated, seriously as he pressed his forehead against hers. Jexanna couldn't even process what was going on. Her heart broke because Shou was hurting, but at the same time, she was lost as to what the fuck was happening with Alpha Stone of all people.

"I promise, I'll get over it. Like you said, I've got a mate, waiting for me, right?"  He flashed a toothy grin.

Jexanna nodded with a bitter laugh, as she backed away to wipe off the last of her tears.

"Right, and if they make you cry, I'll beat the shit out of them."

Shou laughed.

"Of course."