It's Just Pretend ✔️

Chapter 43

With a sigh I open my eyes knowing I shouldn't go back to bed. I sat up and rubbed my eyes not even tired just not wanting to do anything. I didn't feel happy. I felt drained. I didn't know what to do with my life.

I would always book up my schedule so I wouldn't have to deal with people but I stopped doing that so I had time for Damien. I could always go back to doing that. At the same time I'm having a hard time getting out of bed.

Is this what heartbreak feels like? How long has it been now, and why am I not over it? The cat bounds over to me and I lift him up kissing his head. "Do you miss him too?" I ask taking a deep breath.

He purrs and I lift him up slipping out of bed. With him in one arm I grab my phone trudging out to the living room. I check the time and cringe. "Two- already?" I groan throwing my phone onto the couch.

Turing on the TV I follow my cat, who was walking towards the kitchen knowing I should eat something. "Back from our break we're here with the newest news on the Zachary Tatton" the women reports and I run back to the living room confused. My cat jumps onto the couch following, he gets comfortable on the couch.

"Has our favorite star plummeted into a
depression?" She looks to the TV with the same smile as my face drops. "Here's the newest footage we have of Zachary after leaving the celebration of completing his movie... a little too soon" she adds her voice dropping to make it dramatic, it just makes me roll my eyes.

There's pictures before a video of me storming into my dressing room followed by me having a comforting talk with Jadyn. More pictures of me with a panicked and sad expression before a video of me breaking down in my car.

I open my mouth feeling I need to say something but nothing comes out. "You saw it here, what could have caused this? Zachary hasn't been seen with Damien, in a few months now? Could it be our favorite couple has broken up. Did Damien break his heart? Or did Zachary think he was too good and is now regretting it?" She asks the camera as I choke out a sob.

"Why- how could you say that!" I shout sinking down and putting my back against the couch. "I would never do that- they're making us both seem like the bad guys" I look over to Rajah and he jumps off the couch into my grip.

I cried the tears I didn't think I had left and rubbed my eyes desperately trying to stop. My phone rings and I stop hating on the world. I hoped to see Damiens contact. Maybe he saw the news and wanted to make sure I was okay?

Instead I see Jadyns, taking a deep breath I answer. It didn't help I continued to cry as I listened to the other end. "Hey Z..." he whispers and I try to stifle my cries once again. "I know you didn't just call me to talk" I choke out and I could hear him sigh.

"We all saw the news- it's on a lot of stations now. What can I do to help?" He asks and I pet my cat trying to think. I touched my face, finding it swollen from all the crying and sleepless night. Trying to calm myself I take another deep breath.

"I don't want them to hate on Damien" I break down shaking my head. "I know he hurt me, but he did so much for me. He sacrificed so much for me. It's not his fault he doesn't love me" I blubber and he listens in silence.

"Okay so I won't blast him on social media" he tries to joke and I crack a little smile, my heart hurting from my own words. It's not his fault he doesn't love me. Damn those words are going to hunt me forever.

"Maybe I should go to Instagram or something and say something about how I dumped him because I thought it would be better or something- I don't know" I cry and I could hear his disapproval.

"Fuck that- you will not be getting hate for this!" He shouts into the phone and I sigh letting the tears just fall silently. "I don't want this... Jadyn... I love him still- and I can't get over him. Why can't they understand I'm human. I cry. I feel like a huge part of me is just gone" I rant trying to make sense over my blubbering.

He probably couldn't even understand me. "Z... it's going to be hard you guys were like the IT couple. It may take a long ass time, but we're friends now so you're not going through it alone" he says sternly as I look up hearing knocking on my door.

"Somebody is here- I Uh got to go" I rub my face groggily as Jadyn sighs. "Someone better actually be there" he tells me and I nod like an idiot. "I promise" I tell him standing, Rajah jumping off of me to go to the door. All hope was gone that Damien would be standing there at the door. That's how it was when anybody showed up, I prayed it would be him there but when I opened the door all I got was disappointed.

"Goodbye Jadyn, thanks for the help" I thank him meekly. "Of course bro, you're my... well bro" he chuckles and I roll my eyes before bringing my phone in front of me. Hanging up I sigh before going to the door.

Opening it a crack it suddenly bursts open as I stumble back to be met by my furious mother and a very not happy father. "You've ignore my calls! My texts! Damien won't answer me either! So I decide to fly over and what plays on the news? You?! How dare they!!" She shouts more mad at them then me.

I just shake my head and step forward hugging her. She seemed surprised but hugged me back before I broke down in her grip. "I'm sorry" I ramble nonsense as dad leads me over to the couch after closing the door. Mom continues to hold me tightly as I just cried.

"Are the rumors true?" She asks and I nod. "You're depressed?!" She asks shocked before her own tears well up in her eyes. I quickly shake my head no as she leans into dad. "Did I do something to make this happen I really didn't mean to, is there something I can do to help?" She asks concerned and I continue shaking my head.

"Mum I'm not depressed- those rumors aren't the ones that are true. My heart just hurts" I chuckle softly not wanting to say heart broken and sound like a cliche teen girl movie.

"Oh- oh! Is this about Damien?" She asks and I nod. "Do you want to talk about it?" She continues and I shake my head resting on her. "I'm going to anyways though" I laugh at myself. "We weren't really dating in the beginning" I tell them and mom chuckles. "Oh we know- it was cute watching you pretend" she giggles and dad nods smiling.

"What! why- why didn't you say anything!?" I ask and mom grab any hand. "I saw the way you looked at him and I could tell you were crushing so I thought if maybe we continued this secret, you would see him more, and it would turn into a relationship. And then you would have someone and I'd feel better with you not being alone" she explains as I nod.

"I feel like such a little kid" I groan and she smiles at me. "Before you say some cutesy thing. I'm twenty four, crying to my mother and dad on my couch- it's irritating. I don't want to cry!" I shout into my hands, wiping my face clean.

"Come here" dad stands surprising me but I stand anyways and follow him down the hall moms eyes following us cautiously.

"Do you remember when you were younger and for some reason you loved to chuck rocks at trees with those neighbor kids?" He asks rolling his eyes at my childhood stupidity. I nod also laughing slightly at my stupidity. 

"One day you threw a rock so hard it came back and hit you straight in the head. You cried. And the other kids laugh and made fun of you. So you went to your mother. When I told you that you could come to me you said no because it wasn't manly to cry, and do you remember what I told you?" He asks and I shake my head.

"I told you I would rather have a son who expresses his emotions through tears than someone who laughs at people's misery. Crying is normal and it just proves how much you love this man, so unless he has told you he no longer loves you, I don't want you to give up on him" he tells me.

My mouth opens before closing again surprised. I hug him before setting my head onto his shoulder.

"Thank you... thank you"