Safety Is A Person

I need Cuddles

When I was only 10 years old, my entire world flipped. My mother and father split, and I was sent to live with my mother over the weekends.

But she never talked to me, never looked at me. She just sat there, long cigarette between her fingers and smelling awful. Back then I didn't have any choice but to put up with it, and now I'm 16... things are about to change.

I dropped to the floor and pulled my backpack up on my shoulders, the sky above me was a dark ocean blue dotted with lights. I would be lying if I said I wasn't afraid, my chest was tight with anxiety as I wondered down the near silent streets.

I hadn't exactly planned where I was going to go after leaving my mothers house, my logic was just to wonder around until I find something or someone familiar. I know, not the smartest plan but I had no other choice.  I was freezing, thirsty and starving. I just wanted to feel safe again.

???: Kenzo?! What the fuck are you doing?!

I looked up to see the tall, lean figure of my best friend, Luca. He was still in uniform, backpack slanted on his back. I almost dropped to my knees when I saw him, finally something familiar.

Me: Luca!!

I wrapped my arms around the blonde haired boy and sighed, tears pricked at my eyes while I tried so hard not to cry. I had been friends with Luca for as long as I could remember. We had grown up together, preschool, primary school and now High school.

Luca: woah, you okay bro? I thought you were staying at your mum's tonight?
Me: I'll explain everything when I have more energy.
Luca: you look like you're about to collapse!
Me: you might be right about that, I've been walking for what seems like forever.

Smiling, Luca lifted me off the floor bridal style and started walking again. The very pose made me blush with embarrassment,  but I couldn't deny how comfy it felt to be wrapped in his warmth. What the fuck am I saying?! We're both guys!!!

Luca: almost there, one more turn. Hold on Kenzo.

All I could do was let out a choked groan in reply as I fought desperately to not fall asleep right there in his arms. It wouldn't be the first time either, unlike other pairs of besties, we were comfortable with each other. We didn't mind cuddling each other when the other one needed it because we knew we were only friends.

The front door of Lucas's small two bedroom house came into view pretty damn quickly. The porch lights were on and the curtains closed, it almost looked like no one was home but that's just how Mrs. Grey liked it.

Luca: Mum, I'm home. We have a guest.

Mrs. Grey turned around from where she stood at the oven, making food. Her face dropped when she saw me and instantly she ran to grab blankets and a drink. Luca carried me through the kitchen and living area into his room where he laid me on the bed and sat beside me.

It didn't take long before I was propped up in the bed, surrounded by blankets, gulping on ice cold water like it was a potion of immortality. Mrs. Grey had left her son with me while she dished up 3 bowls of steaming hot casserole.

Luca: jeez when was the last time you ate Z?
Me: 2 days ago, I had lasagna at my dad's.
Mrs.Grey: doesn't your mother-?
Me: feed me? No, she doesn't even look at me.

I tried so hard to keep myself from crying, but in the end I placed the casserole on the bedside table and curled into a ball, sobbing. My voice was weak and almost unrecognizable as I shot a glance at Luca.

Me: I need Cuddles.