Blue Mist

Chapter 17

You're not sure how long you've been hitting the bag. The change in lighting as the day progresses your only indication of the passing time.  Sweat soaks through your shirt and drips down your face.  Your blood stains the bag where your knuckles have split, and you continue to throw punches relentlessly, not allowing them to heal.  You focus on the pain, using it to ground yourself and distract you from the anger you feel.

You can see Nat in the edge of your vision.  She stands in the training room unmoving, no complaints, no attempt to leave you.  You know she'll still be there when you are ready.  The others have drifted in and out, checking in to make sure you're OK.  Wanda has stayed the longest. You feel her eyes on you but don't acknowledge her.  You know you should be grateful they care, but right now, the only things you feel are pain and anger.

You hear voices in the doorway and choose to ignore them, still moving around the bag.  The voices get louder, Bucky, Steve... Nat.  Your concentration drifts, and your eyes focus on her.  She's face to face with Bucky, Steve attempting to calm them both.  Wanda's eyes haven't left you.  You hear Bucky raise his voice again, and your anger spills over.  Your eyes flash blue, and you hit him in the chest with a burst of blue energy, sending him into the wall behind him.

All eyes are back on you.  Bucky is climbing to his feet, dusting himself off as you glare across the room at him.

"See now she's getting it," he starts towards you. "What do you say we give the powers a rest though princess"

"If you lay one finger..." You hear Nat's warning as she steps to follow Bucky before Steve gets his arm around her holding her back.

"No promises," you say as you duck under his first swing.

You bring your elbow up as he turns towards you, colliding with his jaw.  You allow his next swing to collide with your cheekbone, and you stagger slightly but remain on your feet.

"You hit like a girl," you fire at him.

The next swing lands firmly on your nose.  You feel the pain as your eyes tear up.  Blood runs down your face, landing on your shirt.

"That's enough," you hear Nat at the side of the room.

"She'll tell you when she's had enough," Bucky responds.

The swings continue, back and forth.  You give as good as you get, training with Nat paying off.  The noise has drawn a lot of the others to the room. They stand together in silence, watching the two of you slug it out.  Steve still has an arm around Nat's waist, Bruce a hand on her shoulder.

You slide under his next swing, sweeping his legs just as you'd done on the bridge.  You hesitate, allowing him to get his breath back while you reset your nose with a crunch.  The pain eases, and the blood stops flowing.

As you turn around, another swing lands at the base of your rib cage, bringing you to your knees.  You're pretty sure you felt a rib break, but the pain is brief.  You hear Bucky walk towards you, raise your eyes, and look through your brow while keeping your head down.  He approaches with his hand outstretched. 

You think back to your first day to Nat catching you when you dropped your guard.  As soon as he is close enough that you know he won't be able to react, you charge, catching him low with your shoulder.  You grapple backwards and forward until you're able to get a leg behind him. He hits the floor hard.  You land on top of him and start swinging.  Blow after blow lands, blood flows from a cut by his eye, but you keep swinging.  He doesn't raise a hand, even when he spits blood from his mouth. 

"Y/N he doesn't heal like you," you hear Wanda's in your head. "He's your friend Y/N."

Your blows weaken, landing on his ribs and stomach until you collapse into a heap on top of him.

"It's alright, kid," you feel his arms around you. "It'll be alright... you've got a family here. "

You feel yourself relaxing, your eyes returning to their usual cold steel grey.  After a minute, there's another pair of arms around your waist, a familiar scent, as Bucky slides out from underneath you. 

"You're welcome, Romanoff." he walks away without looking back.

"Screw you, Barnes." She fires back at him, "shows over." She tells the others, pulling you closer to her.

"Hey," She whispers in your ear "hey look at me."

When you raise your head, the two of you are alone, although you vaguely still feel Wanda touching your mind.

"Are you ok?" She uses her sleeve to wipe the blood from your face.  You take a little time before you answer.

"I don't remember them," you start. "I don't remember a childhood or a feeling of happiness.  My earliest memories I'm maybe 15 I guess and from then on out it was just pain, fear and loneliness"

You see the concern in her eyes and look down to avoid her. 

"I guess I always figured they were out there somewhere looking for me," you continue, "and then I was out, but there was nothing.  I thought maybe they were with HYDRA, too.  It never crossed my mind that they were dead because of me. "

You look up, meeting her eyes with a sigh.

"I'm sorry.  I'll be alright. " You raise a weak smile as she stands and offers you her hand, pulling you to your feet.

"Well, since you're alright, I think it's my duty to tell you something." you raise an eyebrow questioningly, "Right now, you really stink." She finishes.

You can't help it. You both laugh as her arm snakes around your waist, pulling you close as you leave the room together.