The Words I Could Never Say

Can I just be Done?

Once and a while

I just want to be done

done with everything really

not just people

or places

or assignments

but really just be done

like nothing else will happen

I want to sit in my bed

and watch youtube

and be happy

but i cant

i cant be happy

i haven't for a while.

so i want 

for my birthday

a break

a pause

a moment

for just me

and my happiness

i want to stop hurting

i want things you can't buy

and yet

no one knows that i feel like this

im alone

alone with heartache

and a head that never stops

never pauses

i want a break

a pause

can i just be done?

can i just stop living for a bit

not like death, 

but like rest

true rest