The Moon Is Shining (MjFantasy)

Chapter 8 - State of Shock

It was as if time has stopped.

I was in a really dark place.
And I was alone.
I couldn't hear Michael's voice anymore. Everything was dark and threatening. I was completely surrounded by a thick blackness.

All I could hear was my heart.. My frenetic and intense heart beats along with my jerky breathing. I wasn't able to control myself anymore. I couldn't move even a finger.

It was one of the scariest moment of all my life. I felt trapped, lost, but I couldn't scream, I couldn't ask for help, I was paralyzed. I wanted to run away, to run as far and as fast as I could, but that wouldn't have changed anything. I wasn't safe anymore, wherever I go. The safety that I had in the olden days had been taken away from me.

And this feeling was horrible.
So horrible, that I would have preferred to die than to feel it.
I had a lot of panic attacks when I was a child, but this one was the worst.

« Oh please, God... Let it be a nightmare, please don't tell me that it's real... Please kill me, I don't want to be raped, I don't want to be used as an object, please, please, kill me. I would rather die than live as a slave, my freedom is all I have, please let me die... »

Slowly, the gloom and the darkness began to disappear.
I heard Michael's voice, at the beginning, it seemed really far but with the seconds, I felt like it was coming closer.

- For God's sake, Moon ! Answer me ! Fuck... I knew that I shouldn't have told you, I knew it, Moon !

I opened my eyes. I didn't even remember when I closed them. I was still in the car, in a knee-chest position and my body was shaking.
My breathing didn't calm down yet. I needed to cool off , to take five seconds to think and clear my mind..

- “ Michael, park the car.”
I whispered with difficulty.
Every word coming out of my mouth was depriving me of oxygen. Speaking was becoming a challenge.

-Moon, are you ok ?
He seemed worried. If only he knew how much I was worried myself, at this moment.
- Please...
I wasn't able to say more, my throat was burning as hell and the pain was unbearable.
He didn't answer, he just quickly went to a gas station and parked the car in an empty parking lot.

I got out of the car immediately, Michael called my name, but he didn't have to be scared, I wasn't going to run away. Not yet.

The cold breeze hitting my face and invading my lungs relaxed me a little bit. But it wasn't enough to calm my poor little heart which was still beating at a really scary rhythm.

I sat on the floor and I looked at the dark blue sky. Everything around me was so peaceful...
It was wonderful.
The white moon was still visible and the stars were shining around it. The scene which was taking place in front of me was beautiful but the more I was getting back my composure, the more I felt overwhelmed by really negatives thoughts.

« No...
No, it's just impossible ! This kind of things can't be happening to me.
No, it's just inconceivable.
Why... ? Why does it have to happen to me, Lord, tell me why, tell me what did I do to you to deserve this... ? I'm far from my home, from my family, and I'm pursued by two procurers who want to sell me as if I was a damn object ! Tell me that it is a nightmare, tell me that I'll wake up soon, that's it's over.... »

Suddenly, a really weird feeling overwhelmed me, a feeling of distress and of abandonment. I couldn't keep my self-control.
Hot tears, almost scalding, began to stream down my cheeks and instead of wiping them, I sobbed.
It's been a while since I cried, and here I was, in a deserted parking lot, in the dark, sitting on the ground, crying so hard that I wasn't even able to breath correctly.

I don't know how long I stayed like this, crying like a little baby, spreading the ground with my tears. I needed a few minutes to pull myself together. When I felt that I was breathing correctly again, I raised my head and saw Michael sitting in front of me.

It looked like he was really worried. Seeing him like this remind me of the moment where I completely broke down when we were in the car. I shivered only by thinking of what it must have looked like.
I took two deep breaths.
- Moon are you okay ?
I nodded quietly.

He got up and stretch out his hand.
I looked at him blankly.
- Don't worry, I won't hurt you, I promise.
Anyway, I wasn't really caring about my fate at this moment. I took his hand and got up. Strangely, I wasn't shaking as I thought I would be.
Michael kept my hand in his, and we walked during some minutes.
Moving made me feel a little bit better.

-You really pushed me off the edge, Moon. Seriously, it's very dishonest upsetting somebody, just to use him and squeeze out the information you need. And on top of that, it hasn't even helped you. Have you seen how you reacted ?! I really thought you were having a freakin heart attack !

I looked down at my boots : I didn't want to meet his gaze.
He stopped walking, faced me, and lift a little bit my chin, forcing me to look at him.

- Moon, if I kidnapped you, it is first of all because Vin's gang was minding my business and that they needed a good lesson, that's true, but I also did it because I really think that you'll be more safe with me than with anybody else. I'm not boasting, I'm serious. So, trust me, as long as you are with me, you're under my responsibility : I won't let them hurt you.

While he was speaking, I suddenly felt the urge to hug him. I don't know why, and from where it was coming from maybe I was just needing reassurance, all I know it is that as soon as he finished his sentence, I wrapped my arms tightly around him.

Quickly, I felt him hugging me back.

- Thanks Michael...
- It's okay now... But we're really far from California right now, so I think we should get back to the car.
I nodded.

I think that the thing that was upsetting me the most was that I didn't have to escape from one person, but from one person, his whole freaking gang, and a all a fuckin network of human traffickers. So I may as well stay with Michael.

He let me sit on my seat and leaned against the car door, gazing at me. He had this mocking smile on his face.
- And now, what you're thinking about Michael ?
- Hum... Well, I was thinking about the fact that I maybe had another reason to kidnap you.
- Which one ?

He leaned towards me, his face was only a few centimeters away from mine.
He then looked at me from top to bottom, while he was biting his lip.
I shivered lightly.

- Let's just say that you're quite... good looking....
I rolled my eyes while he was laughing.
- Michael, do you really think that it is the best moment to hit on me ?!
- I'm just trying a little move, baby doll !

He closed the door and got in the car.
I was smiling.

I didn't think that I could smile in such a bad situation, but when Michael was around I couldn't help it. That dude was able to make me laugh at any time. He started the car and soon I was completely relaxed.
Knowing that Michael was with me was reassuring me.
It can look weird, but I was happy to know that he was around.

I gaze at the landscape outside, and quickly, I felt myself falling in a long and deep sleep.