Unspoken Love- "It Was Always You"

When We Fight....

They reached the Gill residence by eight at night. Sid pulled the car in front of the house. Sana collected her purse and got down, not glancing his way even once. The trip to the memory lane had upset her and brought back the hate for him. She could hear his door open and close. She wanted to be locked in the confide of her room, before she says something hateful or burst into emotional tears. But his voice stopped her.
Sid: Tu thek hai??
This was it... She turned around and looked directly at him. Sana so wanted to punch that handsome face of his.
Sana: Kyu?? Tujhe kya matlab?? Aise mat puch.... Nahi to mujhe lagega ke tujhe meri fikar ho rahi hai. Aur agar mai tujhse fir se pyar kar baithi to?? To kya karega tu?? Oh haa..... Mujhe pata hai tu kya karega?? Tu fir se Neha di ki piche jaa kar chup jaayega.... Tu...
Sid: Bas ho gaya Sana.... Tu kisi ke humdardi ke layak he nhi hai. You are such a Spoil brat, you...
Sana: Ha hu.... Tera kya lena dena?? Aur mujhe aise bana rehna accha lagta hai.... Tujhe kyu problem hoti hai?? Mai kaise bhi rahu?? Tu bass dur reh.
Sid: Mai dur he rehta hu... Vo to teri mummy ne....
Sana: Unse galti ho gayi. Jo iske baad kabhi nhi hogi. I promise....
She turned and left. Sid was so angry at her, he wanted to say something rude, but she had just left. Sid too sat in the car and drove home.
Sana met Yogita in the hall. Yogita saw Sana's face and knew she and Sid must have had a fight again. These two have so many issues between them. Yogita wondered what have they both got against each other. She knows Sana. She is a very sweet girl. A bit stubborn, but sweet. And where Sid is concern he is such a level headed man. Then why is there always sparks when they both come near each other. Yogita finds this a little intriguing and fishy. She wanted to ask but she was not that person who interferes until she is asked to.
Sana sat on the sofa throwing her things on the couch nearby and closed her eyes. She was feeling her head is hammering inside the socket.
Yogita: Kya hua gudiya?? Tu thek nhi lag rahi hai.
Sana: Mujhe uss adami ke sath jaana he nhi chahiye tha. Par yeh mummy bhi na....
Sana took her face in her hand and started crying.
Yogita: Sana?? Kya hua hai baby?? Tu aise kyu ro rahi hai??
Sana: Kuch nhi bhabhi. Mai thek hu.
Sana wiped her tears, got up and picked her things.
Sana: Bhabhi sar me bahot dard hai. Shankar kaka se kaho na mere liye chai bhej de...
Yogita: Gudiya par dinner ready hai. Thodi der me fresh ho kar aa, sath dinner kar le sab ke.
Sana: Nahi bhabhi mann nhi hai. Aap buss mere liye chai bhejva do.
Sid had walked to his room and lay on the bed, throwing the car keys on the side table. How dare she says that I hide behind Neha?? She is so foolish. How can she think like this?? But is she wrong?? Asked his heart. His heart is nowadays trying to emerge and speak his mind out all the time. He so wanted it to go back to sleep again and not fight with his brain. Lost in thought he didn't realise his mobile was ringing for a few minutes now. He forced himself out of his thoughts and saw the screen. It was Neha. Sid picked the call immediately.
Sid: Hi.
Neha: Hi Sid. Kaisa hai tu??
Sid: Mai hu.... Thek hu...Tu bata??
Neha: Mai bhi thek hu. Bahot dino se baat he nhi ho payi. Mai bhi thodi busy the...
Sid: Ha yaar, kafi din ho gaye. Mera bhi bahot hectic schedule chal raha hai. I.... I...
Neha: Ha bataya bhai ne. Call aaya tha unka. Tu thek hai?? Bahot stressed lag raha hai??
Sid: Hmm. Nahi aise kuch nhi bass thoda thak gaya hu..
Neha: Aur suna?? Sab kaise hai??
Sid: Sab thek hai yaar. Tera Amit ke shadi me aane ka plan hai na??
Neha: Pata nhi Sid. Shadi ke aas paas ke dates me agar mere exams hue to nhi aa paaungi.
Sid: Oh... That's sad. Try kar.
Neha: Ha dekhti hu. Aur suna?? Suna hai aaj tu aur gudiya ek sath Pune gaye aur zinda laut bhi aaye??
Sid: Mat puch yaar.... Tere ghar walo ne usse bahot chadaya hua hai..
Neha: Aise nhi hai Sid. Vo hamare ghar me sabse choti hai. Aur hum sab usse bahot pyar karte hai. Pata nhi tujhe dekh ke aise kyu react karti hai. Tere saamne vo apni worst side pe hoti hai. Aur yeh mat bhul ke tere ghar wale bhi usse utna he pyar karte hai. Kyuki vo sach me bahot pyari hai.
Sid: Pata nhi.....Chal chod na uski baate. Tu apni suna??
Neha: Mera sab accha hai. Tu aane wala hai na Delhi??
Sid: Dekhta hu. Yeh project bahot time le raha hai mera. Aur ab next month Amit ki shadi.
Neha: Hmm. I understand. Chal dekh tujhe possible hua to laga chakkar.
Sid: Ok. Aur tu bhi shadi me aane ka try kar.
Neha: Sure, sure. Chal bye.
Sid: Bye.
Sid disconnected the call. She is such a nice girl. Not at all demanding like her cousin. He knew he will lead a peaceful life with Neha. Yes peaceful and boring. Said his heart. Sid got restless now. But who don't want to lead a peaceful life?? Of course everyone. He convinced himself.
Sana had cried and cried until they were no tears left. She wanted to fight with him, be rude to him, punch him, scream at him, kiss him..... Oh God she just wants to rip her heart out as it is the cause of all her pain. She is there in this condition just because of this heart of hers. There was a knock on the door and Sana pretended to be asleep. She heard Yogita enter.
Yogita: Gudiya mai jaanti hu, tu jagi hue hai. Chal uth kuch khaa le. Nahi to tera sar dard nhi jaayega.
Sana opened her eyes and sat upright in bed. Yogita switched on the lights and kept the tray on the bed in front of her.
Sana: Bhabhi sach me bhuk nhi hai.
Yogita: Yeh kya haal kar rakha hai apna Sana??
Sana: Kuch nhi....
Yogita: Gudiya agar tu kabhi bhi mujhse kuch share karna chahe to, I'm always there. And you know you can always trust me.
Sana: I know bhabhi.
Yogita: Thek hai. Chal pehle tu kha... Mai khila du??
Sana hugged Yogita tight.
Sana: Ha khila do.
Yogita broke the piece of chapati and dipped it in a bowl of sabzi and fed Sana.
Yogita: Accha yeh bata engagement kaisi rahi??
Sana told everything about the engagement to Yogita as she fed Sana.
Sana: Bas ho gaya bhabi.
Yogita: Thoda aur??
Sana: Nahi bass.
Yogita: Accha chal thek hai
Sana: Aapne khaya??
Yogita: Ha maine kha liya.
Sana: Bhabhi baby kaisa hai??
Yogita: Baby thek hai. Par jab uski favorite bua upset hoti hai to vo bhi upset ho jaata hai.
Sana: Mai upset nhi hu.... Accha yeh batao kick karne laga ya nhi??
Yogita: Gudiya tu mujhe roz vohi puchti hai. Abhi to Mai only three months pregnant hu. Itne jaldi thodi kick karega.
Sana: Jab vo kick karega to aap pehle mujhe bataoge. Bhaiya ko bhi nhi. Pehle mujhe.
Yogita: I promise.
This lifted Sana's mood and she laughed with Yogita.
Sana: I love you bhabhi.
Yogita: I love you too sweetheart.
Sana: Thank you.
Yogita: Always welcome baby. And remember I'm always there for you.
Sana: I know that.
Yogita: Chal tu so jaa ab. You will feel even better when you get up in the morning.
Sana: Yep..Good night.
Yogita: Good night.
It was Tuesday night. Sid was entertaining some Japanese guest at the club. He doesn't like partying and doing stuff like that. He knew he is a boring kind of a person. A good book or his favorite music and a cup of coffee in his balcony is his favorite, at the time like this. But here he is now.... Because his work demands it. The Japanese guest were happy with Siddharth. He has given him what they want, but on his conditions. The deal was done and it was time to celebrate. So being a good host, he had to, at that club.
He could feel many women at the club gazing at him. One of the guest mentioned it and he laughed it away. This was common to him. Heads turn when he enters the room and Siddharth felt very awkward about it. He doesn't like to be the center of attraction and always ends up becoming one.
He turned to his right and found a beautiful woman giving her a sexy smile. He never knows how to react to such situation and he always shows his ring finger to let these beautiful women know he is not single. That ring was like a shield to him.... Sheild?? Does that mean Sana is right?? Is he hiding behind this ring?? Behind Neha?? Sana.... Sana.... Not again man. Is there a moment when he can live without thinking about that stubborn girl?? He hates her so much for entering his head all the time.
And to his horror she entered the club too. With her boyfriend and a couple of other boys and girls.
Sid: F.. K man...
His guests looked at him and then the door with curiosity
Sid: Sorry.... I'm sorry....
Sid then turned towards his guests and busied himself, but his mind was in that corner where she was sitting.
Sana had insisted on coming with Bunny and his friends. She wanted to be with him. She could feel Bunny jaded with their relationship. She felt he is not that interested in her anymore. And she can't let Bunny slip away. She needs him. She at all cost needs to have him in his life. And so she gave an expensive watch as a surprise to Bunny and Bunny was so happy that he allowed Sana to come with him and his friends to this club.
Sana was sitting on the sofa next to Bunny who was busy with Anjali. Anjali was sitting too close to Bunny. Sana did not say anything because, she didn't wanted to upset Bunny. She let out a helpless breath and looked around the room. Her eyes halting at the couples who looked in love. She felt jealous, because she knew she doesn't have that and never will, because the person with whom she wants that...... Oh my God..... She felt her heart had come in her mouth.... He was here.... Siddharth was here. He has not seen her. Thank God he has not seen her. She needs to leave. Leave right now. She thought. She was about to turn towards Bunny, when Sid looked her way and their eyes met. And it locked. For more than a minute.
Sana was the first to look away as she could hear the drumming of her heart in her ears and it was getting unbearable. She then looked his way again and saw him eyeing Bunny and the other girl. She looked towards the duo and saw Bunny all over Anjali. Sana's face went red. She very well knew what Sid must be thinking now. She so wanted that floor to open up and take her in it. But she will not give him the satisfaction to pity her. She will show how she is ok with what Bunny was doing. And what is the harm in sitting too close to each other. Bunny and Anjali are good friends. So?? So it's ok. She is fine. Absolutely fine.
Sana looked at Sid with challenge in her eyes. He gave a smirk and this upset Sana. Then Sana did something which she knew will offend Sid to the next level. She took a cigarette from Vicky, one of Bunny's friend who was smoking sitting next to her and held it between her lips. Sana could feel Sid's eyes turn to fire. She saw his hand closed in a tight fist and this satisfied Sana. She puffed the smoke in the air, still looking at Sid.
Sana has grown to be a stubborn girl. She knew she behaves like a spoil brat, but she knows her limits. She knows the right from the wrong, and will never do anything which will malign her or her family image. Many of her friends smoke, drink regularly, some go for other intoxications too. But Sana was very firm about not getting involved in these things. She had tried smoking once or twice just out of curiosity, but she didn't like it. So never went that way again.
But today.... Sid's accusing and insulting gaze made her do it. She extinguished the cigarette in the ash tray in front of her, said something in Vicky's ear and walked to the bar. She ordered herself a drink. She knew this would piss Sid more and she so wanted him to be pissed.
Sid felt his blood boiling with anger. What has become of this girl?? She was such a pretty and sweet girl.... And now?? She is still the most beautiful girl in the planet for hi.... Oh just shut up Siddharth... He warned his heart with frustration and helplessness. Sid didn't wanted to, but still got up and walked to her. He went and sat on the stool near her. Sana did not look at him.
Sid: Good..... Good.... Accha hai.
Sana then looked straight in his eyes and gave him a fake smile.
Sana: Hai na?? Mujhe bhi bahot accha lag raha hai. I'm so enjoying this....
Sid: Sana Tu yeh sab kya kar rahi hai??
Sana: Kya?? Apne boyfriend ke sath aayi hu..... To?? Usme kya problem hai??
Sid: Boyfriend?? Vo?? Jo aaya hai tab se dusri ladki pe chada hua hai?? Dekh??
Sid pointed towards Bunny who was whispering something in Anjali's ears and his hands were on her naked thighs. Sana went red with embarrassment. She had to defend Bunny at this point.
Sana: Vo.... Vo.... To kya hua?? Anjali uski friend hai...
Sid: Friend?? Sana tum log jab se enter hue hai na......usne tere taraf dekha tak nhi hai.
Sana gulped the drink in one go. She was angry now. With Bunny, with herself, and most importantly with Sid, because he was absolutely right.
Sana: Tujhe kya karna hai?? Mujhe chalta hai. Mujhe koi problem nhi hai. I know I love Bunny and I like whatever he does.
Sid: Really Sana?? Then I think you both deserve each other.
Sana looked in his eyes and saw hatred in them for her. And something else.... What was that?? Pity. I think it's pity. She thought. She took another drink and drained it through her throat. Only this was making her feel better. Sid didn't remove his eyes from her.
Sid; Thank God Neha is not like you....
Sid saw Sana's expression change. Her face has gone red. It was as if he had slapped her hard. And then Sid realised he had gone too far. He shouldn't have said that. Oh God, what has he done??
Sid: Sana....
Sana: Jaa idhar se Siddharth...
Sid: I....
Sana: I said leave.... Ruk mai he chali jaati hu.... One more drink please...
The bartender poured her the drink and she got down from the stool and left to where her group was sitting. She was feeling as if someone has sliced her heart. Tears started forming at the back of her eyes. Don't cry Sana.... Please don't... Not for that ruthless man.... She scolded herself.
Sana sat there on that sofa for a few minutes. Not understanding what was going around her. She had, had too many drinks, Bunny and Anjali were nowhere to be seen. Sid was sitting with his back to her, talking to someone. She was feeling both numb and fragile at the same time.
Controlling her tears seems impossible now. She got up from the sofa and walked towards the washroom. She checked all the cubical and found it empty. Sana then stood in front of the mirror and saw herself. What was she?? Why has she become so pathetic?? Why does that man affect her so much. Why can't she just ignore him and lead a normal life. Sana knew Sid was the one responsible for what she is today. He was comparing Sana with her own sister?? Sid had given her a disgusting look and that was unbearable for Sana. She gave a loud helpless cry and then as if a dam broke down. Tears starting flooding from her eyes. She cried and cried until she was exhausted. Her head was spinning now and she was about to lose balance. She wanted water. Her throat has gone dry. So she washed her face and came out of the washroom to find Sid pacing the floor in front of the washroom door.
Sid had seen her leave towards the washroom. Her back straight and rigid gave him chills. He had hurt her very much today. He wanted to punch himself for doing this to her. He excused himself and walked behind her. He is been waiting for her outside this bathroom for more than fifteen minutes. He so wanted to break open that door and enter inside. But that would mean attracting attention. As his patience was wearing out, he heard the click of the latch and the door open. There stood this girl, with her nose and eyes red, her mascara around her eyes, her hair all over the place, but still beautiful. He rushed towards her and held her by her shoulder.
Sid: Sho.... Sana... I...
Sana threw his hands away from her shoulder and pushed him towards the wall nearby. She was beyond angry now. She started hitting Sid on his chest with her fist. Tears were flowing from her eyes
Sana: How can you.... Tu mujhe..... Ha nhi hu mai Neha jaisi... Vo... Vo... Bahot acchi hai.... Aur mai buri....na?? Mai bahot buri hu na Siddharth...
Sid had folded his hand to his back, letting her remove all the frustration inside her. She was hitting him, shouting and crying all at the same time.
Sana: Mai tere liye acchi the he nhi. Hai na?? Isliye maine acchi banne ki koshish karna he chod diya... Sahi kehta hai tu. Mai.....Mujh jaisi ladki Bunny jaisa banda he deserve karti hai.
All this shouting and crying exhausted Sana. Sid could feel it now. He unfolded his hands from behind and reached for her shoulder.
Sid: Chal lobby me chal. Tujhe pani chahiye??
Sana wiped her tears and in the process her eyes fell on Sid's chest. Sid had worn a white shirt with two top buttons open. Sana had, while hitting, dig her nails in Sid's chest. She could see a few drops of blood oozing out.
Sana: Siddharth...
Sana pointed towards his chest. Sid looked down and saw it too. He was least considered about him at that moment.
Sid: Come with...
But Sana stepped behind, shook her head. Fresh tears streamed from her eyes. She turned and ran away. Sid's heart ordered him to go behind her. But he didn't. And he let her go. Why?? This Sid doesn't want to answer.