our gentle sin

only heaven i'll be sent to

18.

JENNIE POV

It had been almost a week since Lisa had asked me to make a choice, and I was yet to give her an answer. I knew what I wanted, but I was too scared to follow through with it. I wasn't ready to face the aftermath of my decision. I wasn't ready to face Irene.

It was getting easier to be with Lisa. Holding her hand meant something different now, especially when it was followed by a kiss, but it was feeling less wrong. That was progress, I guess. Lisa had said baby steps, but I only had a few weeks left to decide and baby steps didn't seem feasible with the time frame I had.

I had been avoiding Irene. It was easier to do that rather than look her in her face and lie. She had even grabbed me before I left today to say that I was spending too much time out with Lisa and reminded me I was taking my permanent vows soon.

I told her it was Lisa's birthday today, and I only had a few weeks left where I could go out with her. She let me go after hearing this, though she didn't seem too happy about it.

The guilt almost dissipated when I was with Lisa. Almost.

"Bet I can win you this bear," Lisa stated as we approached a stall.

It was her birthday and she had asked me to spend the day with her. She had brought me to a fair; it was a shame that she had brought me instead of the other way round, considering it was her birthday, though she seemed as happy as can be regardless.

"I thought you said all the games were rigged."

"For you, Jennie, anything is possible," she said with purposeful, excessive corniness, earning a playful shove.

"Fine, if you win this bear for me, then I'll kiss you."

"I'll kiss you, or you'll kiss me?"

"I'll kiss you, Lisa."

At this, Lisa had a newfound determinedness. Every kiss that we had shared had been initiated by her. It's not that I didn't want to, it's just that my shyness had a tighter grasp on me than I'd like.

"Promise?" Her eyes were wide and similar to a puppy's as she asked me.

"Promise." Lisa did a celebratory fist pump. "But it's going to be random, when you don't expect it. I think it'll take the pressure off."

"Whenever you kiss me, however you kiss me, it'll be perfect, Jennie," she kissed my cheek. "Now, watch as I win you this giant bear."

The aim of the game was to five tins down. On her first try, she managed three, on her second, only two and on her third try, she managed to shoot four tins down. She swore the next try would be her last, but she only managed three again.

The fee was only ₩4000, but with each failed attempt and Lisa hell-bent on winning me that bear, it started to add up, and I wondered if it may have been cheaper to just buy a bear.

"I think that's enough, Lisa," I tell her after another fail, but she shakes her head.

"I'm getting that kiss, Jennie." And so, she paid the man again and started shooting, only to be met with failure.

Finally, eight tries and a wasted ₩32,000 later, Lisa grinned victoriously as she handed me the big, brown, plush bear.

"I feel bad, you just wasted a lot of money," I say as I take the bear from her.

"Trust me, it'll be worth it. Now come on." Taking my hand, she pulled me along. "You have to give it a name," she says.

"Like what?"