Kaylor: The Timeline

Chapter 19

May 4, 2014

Taylor wakes up in Karlie's arms, the model holding onto her as tightly as Taylor is to her. She comes to the realization that she hasn't slept peacefully in weeks without Karlie. The model doesn't have to worry about waking up for work, and Taylor can enjoy sleeping in with her on this Sunday morning.

They had only held each other last night, Taylor restrained herself from doing anything more. They held each other tightly, being the only two in the world who fully understands what each other are going through, but despite being so closely against each other there was a distance between them that they couldn't even attempt to close. It was more unbearable than any physical distance they have dealt with before, somehow larger than the distance they have endured being on opposite coasts. The distance wasn't one that either girl could begin to explain using words, it was only a feeling, but it was a feeling they somehow could be absolutely sure the other felt as well by the way they held each other as if holding on for dear life.

Taylor takes the time before the model wakes up to just enjoy her presence, something she hasn't been able to do in far too long. She has already memorized every curve of the model's body, everywhere she is soft or firm, the steady rhythm of her breathing and heartbeat, the slight sigh she occasionally releases as she peacefully sleeps, and the smell of her hair, but Taylor relishes in familiarizing herself with everything once again. It has been a long three weeks not being able to appreciate the model in this way.

Last night had been a different night for them. Karlie has always been the one to worry over Taylor and nurture her, and Taylor has happily accepted that comfort from her. She often needed that comfort, but because of that she was able to somehow forget that Karlie may need comfort too. She realized that when Karlie had her outburst, their last night they spent together. How had Taylor not even realized the pressure Karlie had been dealing with? And then she heard news of the model skipping a week's worth of work that same week, acting completely unlike herself. She clearly has been struggling with everything going on, Taylor being the center of her problem. Last night was Taylor's turn to comfort Karlie, in the way the younger girl has done so many times before for Taylor. Taylor had held her tight, told her none of this was her fault, told her she shouldn't feel guilty. She had told her she would always be there for her and that she never has to deal with all of this alone.

Taylor had covered the younger girl in delicate kisses everywhere but on her lips. Karlie didn't protest against it, so Taylor took that as a green light to go ahead and continue comforting her in this way. No, it wasn't how friends behaved, but last night they weren't friends. On technicality alone, Karlie hadn't truly been unfaithful to Josh last night, right? Soon Karlie's ragged breaths had turned to slow and peaceful ones as she fell asleep with the help of Taylor's adoration, and Taylor followed not far behind.  

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Taylor must have fallen back asleep, because soon she is awakened by the model shifting her position in the bed.

"Good morning," Taylor says, her voice hoarse with sleep.

"Hello," Karlie says, her voice sounding much the same.

They lie comfortably entangled together for a few silent moments. This morning doesn't feel like a resolution to their conflict at all, it isn't a reunion that brings either of them joy, it doesn't change anything. Rather, there is a feeling of hopelessness tainting this morning, as each girl becomes aware that they can't control the need they have for each other, the dependence upon one another. Both of their lives would be critically less complicated if this need didn't exist, but here they are now, in bed beside each other more out of necessity than choice. Or so it feels.