Kaylor: The Timeline

Chapter 5.1

July 14, 2014

"What the fuck was that?" Karlie asks. Taylor's heartbeat quickens at just how harsh, how sharp, Karlie's voice sounds in the quiet kitchen. She's seething.

Taylor rushes back to the kitchen table Karlie is seated at as she begins, "Okay, Karlie, that—"

"What the fuck was that?" Karlie asks again. The outline of her jaw and cheeks look even sharper with frustration, her green eyes ablaze with a dangerous level of anger.

"Where should we start?" Taylor asks breathlessly, sitting down beside Karlie. I don't even know what part of all of this she wants me to explain away.

"That...whatever that was," Karlie begins, gesturing with her hands to where Tree had just previously been sitting across from them, "was not normal, Taylor."

Taylor sighs and rests her head on her hands. "I know it isn't normal. But—"

"Don't start with that shit again! I can't hear about you feeling sorry for yourself and not being normal and—"

"Karlie!" Taylor interrupts abruptly, slamming her palm against the table. Karlie is immediately silenced, but the fire within her eyes is not extinguished. Taylor takes a deep breath, knowing that she can't afford getting frustrated as well. As far as she's concerned, they've had enough arguing for a lifetime. With one more deep breath, she shifts in her chair and reaches for Karlie's face. When she has the model's angular face in her hands, Karlie tries leaning away, shaking her head free.

"Stop," Taylor says firmly. She holds the model's face, feeling her jaw lock tighter and cheeks get drawn in, but at least she is sitting still. Taylor looks into her green eyes, as intensely as Karlie has done to her, and says, "You need to understand that I do not have a normal life. Okay? You need to get that. And as much as you want to somehow fix that, you can't. Months ago, I felt so alone, and I was sad, and I really hated that I didn't have a normal life. I felt trapped in it. And you changed that, and you've gotten me to do normal things that I didn't think I could do ever again, and I am so much happier now. I don't feel alone or sad. I'm okay, Karlie. But that doesn't mean I have a normal life."

"Taylor, you would feel like you have a normal life if you didn't have meetings like that! She's not treating you like you're a normal person!" Karlie exclaims.

"Karlie. I. Don't. Have. A. Normal. Life," Taylor says slowly, firmly. "And that's okay. I'm happy, Karlie. You don't need to fix this for me."

Karlie abruptly stands up, not so gently pushing Taylor's hands away. She walks a few feet away from Taylor to lean against a countertop, crossing her arms. "How do you not realize how fucked up that entire thing was?!" Karlie exclaims, sounding completely exasperated.

"It wasn't fucked up!" Taylor challenges, sounding defensive now. "If that was fucked up, then my life is fucked up, Karlie, because I've had meetings for years just like that. Since before I've even known you. That's my life!" Taylor stands up now too, heart racing. I knew she wouldn't understand. She thought she could handle it and I knew she couldn't.

"You've done this before?!" Karlie exclaims.

"No!" Taylor groans, staring up at the ceiling. "I haven't done this before! But I've had hundreds of PR meetings."

"That isn't—"

"NORMAL?" Taylor yells, hating that her voice has reached this volume. "Yes, Karlie, it isn't normal! Because my life isn't normal! And because my life isn't normal, I need to have meetings that aren't normal! And because I have meetings that aren't normal, I don't have a normal life. And because my life isn't normal—"