Harry's pov:
The brightness of the sun opened my eyes.
Still the same ceiling still the same bed still the same sheets, when it's gonna end? I'm tired of overthinking.
The thought of suicide came to my mind again the same feelings that I had several years ago. Feeling numb. Stuck in the shadow and darkness.
The only thing i don't need now is my old depression to come back in my life and bring me back to my mind.
Again questioning myself,why even I'm breathing still? What's the point of fighting for my life? Completely down in my head imagining my other life between the shining stars.
Thinking of the things I want things i can never have emotions I can never feel,faces I can never see.
I'm scared of my thoughts I don't want to lost in the darkness again.
I get off the bed and throw my self under the shower, my heart is very old but my skin is very young and my eyes only see gold.
Remember the sunny days turning to snow.
Now where's my 17 dreams? My heart crumpled as I remembered her.
The way she left me in the deep blue sea. The way she lied and burned our dreams with killing her self.
How can a person be this selfish. I missed our late night talks . Imagining our future. Describing our partners and promising nothing stop our friendship and never leave each other's hands even in the worst places in our lives.
I remember her last smile as her soul was slowly leaving her body and her fingers turning blue.
Bloods coming out of her veins like a river.
I felt her cold hand on my cheek as she whispered " promise you'll never forget us and our dreams enjoy your every second of life for both of us "
A tear slowly find the way on my cheek as the cold water washed it away.
She lied and broke our chain. She said forever but now I'm breathing alone. She said nothing will end our friendship but she gave her life for a man who never really cared about her and never understood her words.
I remember the days after her death.the nights I couldn't sleep without hearing her voice, making her laugh our little fights, numbness was the only thing I could feel while her face never left my mind.
The night I couldn't see anything and I wanted to join her to see her stupid face to be loyal to her.
But as always I was a pussy and I couldn't even kill my self . I hated every second of breathing I hated to live I hated het I hated myself.
But after failing my suicide I decided to live for both of us as I always kept her rings and our friendship bracelet with me. I go to the college for her , I got the best scores for our dreams.
She was my only reason to continue as she is now. I survived with our memories that we made together, our little fucked up band, our silly jokes that only we could understand. Everything about her could warm my heart she's always in my heart.
I came out of the shower and wore the comfortable clothes that blonde death angel gave me and again I hide my self under the light blue sheets .
I wish I could bring back time and tell her how much I love her and tell her if anything happens it'll never change me and you....
