***
"Is it cruel of me to request to stop feeling anything, to feel numb? "
***
His firm biceps was more defined as he cooly manuevered the steering wheel of his new baby, a black lambhorgini. He glanced at me while grabbing gently my hand for him to hold. I giggled at his move and my heart swarm and feeling butterflies in my stomach.
He gave me a toothy grin and winked before looking back at the road. His best asset, a deep dimple carved on the right side of his cheek became obvious at his gesture.
This handsome man's name is Dwight, my lovely boyfriend. I met him in a car racing event and he was my opponent. Everyone were cheering for him, may it be boys or girls but of course the majority was coming from the girls. He was handsome no doubt, and it was one of the reasons why lots of people admire him. And when our racing starts, he became more handsome in my eyes. He was a great racer and I am too, but he was far greater than me. Obviously he won. He was always the top 1 racer in the underground.
I thought he would just ignore me like he usually do and gather his girls who would squeal and flirt him, kissing him in his neck, collarbone, face and touching his body while he talk with his friends.
But he didn't.
Instead, he walk towards me, his golden necklace swinging from his neck. He moved gracefully to me. He had tattoos on his hands and piercing but that didn't make him ugly but more sexy and handsome.
As soon as he reached to where I am standing, he flashed his sexy yet charming smile and winked.
"Why, hello, gorgeous lady. You're stunningly beautiful but cool. What's your name?" He asked as he reached for my hand and kissed its back. I smiled at him although I was doubting his gesture to why he suddenly came to me asking for my name but I still answered him. Well, he's quite the playboy.
"Thank you. I'm Vikey." I answered.
"Such a lovely name for a lovely lady. I'm Dwight Carbone." He said and winked before kissing my hand again.
It was when I thought I would just be one of his women but I didn't. We lasted long until he became mine and I became his. We've been in a relationship for almost a year.
He stopped his car the moment we reached my house. He squeezed my hand before hugging me and showering me kisses on my face. He looked at me lovingly and smiled, his eyes were soft.
"I will miss you." He said before he crashed his lips against mine to which I responded with the same intensity. I wrap my hands on his nape while his hands wrapped my waist and the other hold my head, pushing me to him and deepening the kiss. I moaned as he suck my tongue.
Feeling feverish and intoxicated with the kiss, I pulled out first. We were breathing heavily for the lack of air. I looked at him and smiled.
"You need to go. You're going to be late." I told him and he sighed. It was obvious he didn't want to go and just spend the whole day with me.
"Yeah." He groaned before reaching me and kissed me again but this time it was quick.
I went out from his car and waved him goodbye. When he was gone, I went inside my house. Feeling exhausted, I throw my bag on the couch and lay on the sofa and closed my eyes. I was just about to be engulped in a deep sleep when my phone suddenly rang.
Groaning, I stand up and grab my cellphone, feeling irritated to who was the caller for interrupting me to sleep. This should be important or I'll rip the throat of this motherfucker.
"Yes?" I answered half asleep.
"Vikey, I'm sorry to disturb you but you need to come here to Italy. I know this is sudden but this is important. Everything is ready for your trip." My aunt's cold voice answered the call and immediately ended it preventing me from voicing my thoughts. I rolled my eyes at that, that bitch.
When I was ready, I immediately went to where the yacht was waiting for me. I should just use the private jet but my aunt know better than to use it. I am fucking sick with a plane. I have a trauma and I can't stand being in that place for so fucking long so instead, I used a yacht whenever I need to travel.
When I reached the yacht, I immediately went inside not bothering for introducing myself or asking questions of the guard. This is our yacht, anyway. We own this.
I glided myseld to VVIP room and throw myself at the soft matress of the bed. This is so comfortable and I instantly feel asleep.
When I woke up, I was feeling hungry so I decided to walk into the kitchen to eat. And when I was full, I went into the docks to feel some fresh air and watched the beautiful masterpiece of God, the twinkling stars and the shining moon above.
I was wearing a thin dress and I could feel the chilly cold air but it didn't bothered me anymore. I am now used to it. I leaned on the railing and watched the beautiful scenery in front of me. The calm and quiet place was interrupted by giggles and laughters. I didn't intend to listen to them but a familiar husky voice of someone made me froze to my spot and made my head jerked towards their direction. They were too busy to notice me.
My heart was beating so fast that I didn't know I was gasping for air as my breathing became shallow. My heart feels like it was being twisted and crushed into pieces. I can't believe at the scene in front of me that I even thought I was dreaming but a part of me told that I wasn't. That this is all real and not just one of my dreams and hallucinations.
My boyfriend, Dwight was kissing an almost naked girl. They were looking at each other lustfully and...inlove. The pain, anger, disappointment and betrayal fueled in me. I know I am not mistaken, he is my man. He's in front of me and making out, touching a woman's body that isn't me.
I was too shock that I didn't noticed that they had already left while moaning probably to get into a room where they could continue who fucking knows what it is.
Was he doing this to me for how so long? I felt idiot, stupid for even trusting him. For thinking that he had already changed but he's not. He was still that fucking playboy before.
Tears were streaming down my face like a rage waterfalls. I was betrayed by the man I gave my full trust. By the man I love. It was when my friend anxiety started to show up. The depression hiding inside of me that I tried burying deep in the endless abyss of darkness gripped me tightly. It all came crashing down to me like a wildfire.
I was shaking from crying and gasping for air. I glanced around, taking of what was happening. It was eerily quiet and calm, the sounds of the wave crashing against each other made me think of one thing.
I was imprisoned and I always still. I tried and had fought the problems, the depression and anxiety that's trying to eat me whole but it would still came back and more stronger than before.
I had always attempted suicide, trying to end my life but always fail miserably. Maybe, now, was the right time. The waves are calling for me. They are enticing and alluring. Hypnotizing my nerves and senses and I obliged. I follow their call that would end my misery.
As if on cue, I stepped onto the railings and closed my eyes, extending and spreading my arms as though I was flying and feeling the freedom. I let myself fall and waited for my awaited death but the coldness and hardness of the water that I waited didn't came. Instead, I heard a loud thud and bones cracking as I fall into another deck that was located at the first floor. I screamed and whimpered in pain, the feeling of meeting death slowly vanished away.
My eyes fluttered open and tried looking to where the sexy yet cold voice was coming from. When my gaze found his, I felt his deep blue eyes pierced into mine. As if he could see my soul.
"Ang tanga mo naman magpakamatay. Sinigurado mo sanang walang sagabal sa baba at diretso sa tubig ang bagsak mo. Tanga." Said the man whom I don't know, his voice dripping with bitterness.
