Changes

Chapter Seven: Here I am

Chapter Seven: Here I am

    "What'll be?" Dennis says to Cassidy with an intent look. Cass takes a deep breath still unsure of what to say. He smiles while glancing down at the floor. "You...don't remember me. Do you?" Cassie says just above a whisper before looking up from the floor. Dennis' smile falters for a moment as he shakes his head. "Oh no. Of course I do...Cass." Dennis says timidly before trailing off. Cassie smiles as his heart flutters after hearing the nickname Dennis gave him that he hasn't heard in 8 years. "You do?" Cassidy asks. Dennis chuckles softly with rosy cheeks before nodding. "How could I forget?" Dennis asks more to himself. "Yes. Well, when are you getting off? Maybe we could go somewhere and talk." Cassie says shyly. Dennis smiles. "Uh, yeah-no. That sounds great Cass..." Dennis replies before pausing as Rick comes out from the back room buttoning a white button up shirt that looks more than a few sizes too big for her. Dennis looks over at her and smiles as she walks over to them. "Thanks for letting me borrow your shirt, handsome." Rick says before winking at Dennis and then turning to look at Cassie who's looking between them, trying his best not to assume anything. "Dennis. I get that you find me captivating, but it seems as though you have a customer waiting." Rick says while staring between them. Dennis glances at Rick before looking at Cassie. "Right. No. That's just Cass. He's an old friend." Dennis explains nonchalantly. "Oh. I see. Well it's nice to meet you, but if you don't mind. Dennis has work to do." "Right." "Of course." Dennis and Cassidy say simultaneously. Dennis glances at Cassie. "Oh. Um, I'll have two beers please." Cassidy says quietly, doing his best not to look hurt. "Sure thing." Dennis says before pulling out two beers and setting them out in front of Cass on the bar. Ricky then places a hand onto Dennis' arm earning his attention. "And don't forget. You promised you'd let me buy you a drink after your shift ends." Rick says just above a whisper, though Cassie can hear her. She then glances at Cassie with a questionable expression. He glances between them before walking away.

   Dennis watches Cassie walk away wishing he didn't see that. "Right. I almost forgot." Dennis says without looking at Rick. She gives him a curious look before walking away. Dennis then sighs to himself as he remembers something his father once said to him after beating the living hell out of him. "I'd rather you be dead than a fag." Since that day over five years ago, Dennis has only dated women, and hasn't allowed himself to even covet men. As soon as he remembered Cass however, his father's words momentarily got lost in Dennis' mind. Until now that is. Dennis loves Cass. He always has and always will, but he's sure that his head is too messed up from everything that happened between him and his father. He's sure that if he tried dating Cassidy, it would be more like torturing him. If Dennis just decided to let go now and date men, he's sure he'd ruin any man with his issues. He's not sure that he'll ever be free of them or be able to be in any kind of normal relationship. Dennis couldn't forgive himself if he exposed Cassidy to all of his demons. He wouldn't dare ask him to accept them either, or wait around to see if Dennis ever gets better. Dennis decides that maybe he can just be friends with Cassidy and maybe give Ricky a chance. He'll make it clear to Cassie that he's not interested. It'll take a lot of work to try to pretend that he isn't deeply in love with Cass, but Dennis is willing to try for him. Just so he can have Cassidy in his life again. Dennis also isn't even sure if Cassie is interested in him. For all he knows, he could be engaged, or already married, or something.

   Once Cassidy walks away from Dennis at the bar, he walks over toward the go-go dancers where Scarlet, Finn, and Kurt are all drinking and laughing together. "Oh hey, Cassidy. You saw Dennis. Didn't you? I assumed you'd wanna talk or catch up or something." Finn says. Cassie sits down beside him with a saddened look. "I'm pretty sure he's dating his boss." Cass says with downcast eyes. Finn laughs. "Oh trust me. He isn't interested in her. They only slept together once. Ever since then, she's been trying to bribe him into going out with her." Finn explains. "Well, they're going on a date after Dennis' shift ends." Cassie says pointedly. "Huh. She must've offered him something he really wanted because he told me before that he thinks she's clingy and annoying. Then again, he says that about all the girls he dates." Finn says with a thoughtful look. "Girls. What do you mean? I thought Dennis was gay." Kurt says, "Well, actually. He hasn't really dated more than one guy –at least that I know of- since dad..." Finn explains before trailing off. "What are you talking about?" Cassidy questions eagerly. "Dad. Before he left. He was hitting Dennis and I was up in my room, like always. When I heard the door slam shut and dad just took off. All Dennis said to me was that he wouldn't come back and he seemed a little different than how he usually was after one of dad's beatings. This time, somehow dad must've gotten to him. Whatever happened between them that day changed Dennis. But I just know that you being around will be good for him. He needs you Cassidy and if you still feel the same, and I hope you do, all I'm asking is that you be there for him." Finn says, sounding passionate and very drunk. Kurt then laughs before he and Finn high five. "I love gay love!" Kurt shouts drunkenly. "Uh, how much have you two had to drink?" Scarlet questions them. "Dennis was the one who said we could have as much as we'd like for free or something like that." Finn says before hiccuping and then burping loudly. "Alright. Boys, I'm taking you home. Cassie, I don't think there will be room in the car." "It's fine Scarlet. I'll just walk back. I haven't had very much to drink." Cassidy says before watching them leave. He then sits alone at a booth for a while as he contemplates the things Finn said about Dennis not being the same as he was before. Cassie wonders if he was right when he said that they were just two strangers that used to know each other. On the other hand, he thinks about the way Finn also said that Dennis needs him, and that he's only changed since their father left. Maybe Cassidy can help Dennis. Even if it doesn't mean they'll be together in the end. "Uh, Cass?" Dennis then interrupts Cass' thoughts. Cassidy looks up to see Dennis standing over him with his lips subtly pouted and a curious look. "Yes Dennis?" Cassidy replies. "Uh..." Dennis mumbles before glancing around and then clearing his throat, visibly uncomfortable. Cassie squints at him with his lips pursed as he waits for him to say something, but Dennis just stands there awkwardly for a moment looking as though he's forgotten what he was about to say. Something about Dennis' demeanor reminds Cassie of when they were boys. He ponders that Dennis may be having a panic attack. "Well, uh. Just the mm. Well, uh y-ya see Cass w-we-we're..." Dennis pauses again and looks away for a brief moment before collecting himself seemingly in an instant. "We're closed. The bar is closed. Sorry." Dennis says skittishly. "Oh." Cassie says while standing up from his seat where he is now in front of Dennis. "I'm sorry. I must've zoned out." Cass says while wondering about Dennis' behavior. "Oh, no. That's okay. No need to apologize buddy. Ya just worried me a little there for a moment." Dennis says back. Cassidy smiles at Dennis. "I didn't mean to worry you Dennis." Cass says just above a whisper with a knowing look. Dennis clears his throat before letting out a nervous chuckle, "That-I..." Dennis begins to say before pausing with blushed cheeks. "I wasn't that worried. So, yeah." Dennis says sheepishly while looking down at the floor with a hand on the back of his neck. "Right. Okay." Cassie says quietly while also looking at the floor feeling sad that Dennis said that and guilty for making him uncomfortable. "Listen Cass. About earlier..." Dennis begins to say before Cassidy interrupts him. "No. It's alright Dennis. You don't have to explain. I completely understand that you have a date and probably must be going." Cassie says with a saddened smile while looking over Dennis, who's looking at the floor. Dennis looks up at Cass who's looking up at him. "Right." Dennis says before trailing off momentarily as they look deeply into each other's eyes, and it feels as though the whole world has vanished around them. "About that. You should know. It's not really a date, but more of a work thing. I just thought we should talk about getting together sometime." Dennis says with a confident look before smiling down at Cassie as he takes a step toward him. He smiles up at Dennis with wide eyes. "Oh, of course. I'd like that Dennis." "Cool, but I really do have to go now, actually." Dennis says just above a whisper with a slight smile causing Cassie's smile to fade quickly. "Oh. Yeah. Me too." Cassidy says timidly. "Okay." Dennis says with a curious look before pausing as his smile widens for a moment at Cass' flustered appearance and he recalls the first time they said goodbye to one another. "So, I guess this is goodbye." Dennis says with a saddened look, not really wanting Cass to leave. "Well goodbye, Dennis." Cassidy says just above a whisper before reluctantly turning to leave, though he doesn't want to. "Cass. Wait." Dennis says while gently taking Cassidy's shoulder before pulling him back toward him. "Um, here." Dennis says before moving closer to Cassidy, taking his hand, and placing a folded piece of paper into the center of his palm before letting it go while smiling. "Just call me or text or whatever. Okay?" Dennis whispers with a knowing look causing Cassidy to remember a similar situation happening between the two of them years ago. Cassidy chuckles softly while smiling at Dennis in admiration. Dennis' smile widens as he glances at the floor in a bashful manner, knowing that Cass must have remembered as well. Cassidy then goes to hug him. Dennis's smile falls as he quickly steps away from Cassidy, rejecting the hug. "I'll see ya later Cass." Dennis says quietly in a gruff voice before leaving without saying another word. Cassie watches Dennis leave before leaving as well. He walks out onto the sidewalk and stops for a moment while letting out a sharp breath. There is then a soft tap on his shoulder. He turns around to face Dennis who quickly pulls him into a tight hug. A moment goes by in silence as they hold one another, each of them embracing the other's unique scent. "I missed you." Dennis whispers with his chin resting against Cassidy's shoulder. Cass smiles with his own chin against one of Dennis' brawny shoulders. "I missed you too." Cassie says quietly just before Dennis pulls away, but doesn't step back, leaving their faces close in proximity where their noses are almost touching. Dennis considers kissing Cassie and wants to desperately, but denies himself the chance by taking a step away with rosy cheeks and downcast eyes. He doesn't want to lead Cass on, but at the same time, he wishes he knew how he feels. "Do you want a ride?" Dennis asks, breaking the silence. Cassie tilts his head with wide eyes as he wonders how Dennis could've known that he didn't have a ride already. "I just figured you might be late to school if you walked all the way home first." Dennis explains more since Cassie didn't respond. Cass smiles after a moment with reddened cheeks as he realizes that Dennis must've been watching him after he walked away, and possibly even the whole night. "I'd like that very much, Dennis. Thank you." Cassidy replies shyly. Dennis smiles as he has successfully found a way to keep Cass a little while longer. "Awesome. Follow me. Baby's parked around back." Dennis says before turning and beginning to walk toward the back of the building. Cassie stands there for a moment before running to catch up to Dennis.