I've Got Soul but I'm Not a Soldier

Holding Pattern

"I should go."

Len looks away from the small TV in his bedroom and focuses on Barry, who sits next to him with a contemplative expression on his face. Too thoughtful of a look for Saturday morning cartoons. "Hmm?"

"I should go," Barry repeats, looking at him. "I've been here for two days straight. I should probably go home and shower and... stuff."

Len frowns. "You can shower here. You've done it before."

"I know, but no offense to your wardrobe, but I'm out of clean clothes here."

Over the course of their time together, Barry's pile of clothing here has been steadily growing. He's close to getting his own drawer in Len's dresser. Who is Len kidding? Barry already has his own drawer, even if it's not filled with his clothes yet.

"I need to check on Iris and the others anyway," Barry says.

"I'll go with you."

The words are out before he can stop himself. For a moment, the two simply stare at each other, until Barry smiles slowly.

"I'll be fine. I'm pretty sure I can make it home without vanishing."

It's too soon for jokes.

Len's expression flattens. He can't see himself, but he can see how Barry reacts, and that's more than enough to tell him what's happened. His jaw clenches, the muscles aching as he grits his teeth to keep from saying something.

"Len," Barry says softly. "You know I'm not going to just disappear again, right?"

"I know," Len says, because he does. The odds of Barry vanishing into another black hole are slim to none.

Barry sighs and shakes his head. "Alright, well – I'll be back later, okay? I'll call you."

He looks at Len a moment longer before he crawls out of bed and begins shoving his shoes on. Len watches him for a moment, a lump in his throat and a knot in his stomach, but if Barry wants to leave, who is Len to stop him?

He's fine with it until Barry actually walks toward the door, casually tossing a quick, "Bye, Len," over his shoulder.

There are different types of panic, and he's not sure which type he's feeling. All he knows is he blinks and the next second he's snagging Barry's arm and yanking him away from the door, turning the brunette so he can shove the kid's back into the wall and trap him there. A low growl emits from his throat as his mouth seals over Barry's. Barry flails for a second, confused, before he readily gives into the kiss and curls his fingers into the front of Len's shirt, pulling him closer.

The kiss breaks, and Barry smiles sheepishly at him.

"What was that for?" the kid asks.

Len takes in a slow breath, unable to find the words to explain what happened, or what he was feeling. He only knew what he wanted right now. "Stay with me."

Barry's eyes widen briefly, before he's smiling again. "Sure, Len," he says softly, voice a mere breath of air dancing over Len's skin, their faces still so close. "I'll stay. You only needed to ask."

Len nods, swallowing thickly. His fingers uncurl from the fabric of Barry's T-shirt and he allows the speedster to move away from the wall. Barry does so, watching him all the while.

"Everything okay, Len?"

No, he wants to say. I think I'm losing my mind and I blame you.

Instead he smiles and says, "Yes, everything's fine."

Barry looks skeptical.

Sometimes the kid is too smart.