T'ming sat under her favorite tree thinking. What should she do? What could she do? Should she disappoint her father? Why were simple decisions the hardest? She really wanted to follow Sybok. She wanted to be able to laugh, cry, love. She also thought about how this acceptance would cause S'lack to divorce her. The only problem with this is it's a very messy process. Involving her to give up any of her possessions that they agreed to share in the marriage. She stared at her feet. She had convinced Star Fleet to give her a uniform in spite of what S'lack wanted. It was much more free than her traditional dress. She chuckled, S'lack will be furious, she thought. Moreover she wondered what Geordi would think. She also let her hair down. Much to her delight.
She was scared of S'lack though. He had a temper and she knew it. While he was "completely Vulcan" she knew it wasn't true. His mother was dead but she had been Romulan. The reason he could claim full Vulcan blood is the fact that Romualns and Vulcans are descended from the same people and that since his mother was dead it wouldn't be that hard to fake it. But she'll always remember his temper. Why else was she so timid when he was around so subdued so obedient. Making others fight her fights like poor Troi and Riker. She might have felt love for S'lack except for one thing:
'On the day after they got on the ship to come to Earth (remember chapter 3?) they were talking about how life would be after they made it to Earth. Sure she had felt slight love for him, sure she did, they had consummated their marriage the night before so she felt some love for him, but it quickly dissipated after what happened next. They were calmly talking and drinking tea. When T'ming reached for the teapot and accidentally knocked S'lacks tea into his lap. Happens to everyone right? T'ming had quickly risen to clean it up when S'lack went ballistic. He yelled at T'ming and raised his hand to strike her. She had recoiled from him, not knowing what was going to happen. Was he really going to hit her?
S'lack had quickly realized what was going on and recomposed himself. Apologizing to T'ming and excusing himself to change. He tried to make up for it a bit but to no avail. She was too scared of him to follow along in trying to make her like him again. He had felt bad that day. But at the same time he felt she needed to know that he wasn't afraid to tell her who ran the household. That night he tried to caress her into sleeping with him again but she rolled onto her side. She hadn't slept with him since then.'
T'ming was suddenly brought back to reality. He never actually struck her but it permanently stuck with her. She was moving in with him tomorrow. She was afraid to say no to him at anytime. Even though she wanted to spite him she was also afraid. No matter how much alike they were: neither of them were completely Vulcan, they didn't get along since that day. Maybe if she had been more forgiving that day she wouldn't be in this predicament. It was after her classes and she knew she should really be doing one of two things: one, homework or two, packing. Not like she had much to pack, just her books, homework, and a few clothes. She went back to her dorm and worked on her homework half heartedly. She was too worried. She had never told anyone why she was so scared of S'lack though people asked why she didin't love him.
Troi wasn't there, she was probably out with Riker. Thank God, T'ming thought. She didn't want Troi to ask why she was depressed and hostile. She was not prepared to explain her story to an outsider. She never even told her father. Which was a big deal since he was on the ship too. No one knew except them and they wanted to keep it that way. Now she had to think, Should she follow Sybok? Or should she stay true to S'lack, her father, and her society? She needed a few days to think about it. As she saw night fall approached she went to the oak tree for what felt like would be the last time. She sat there and thought, whatever she chose would be her life. What her life would become. Who she would be. She heard footsteps behind her, "Geordi!" she exclaimed. She quickly turned around. Her eyes opened in shock. It was S'lack not Geordi. She stood up quickly. Terrified. Only Troi knew she met Geordi.
