Courage

Chapter Seventeen

[Maya]

Two days.

I let Francesca paint me, it took two days, and I couldn't even look at the painting.

Francesca and I spent a lot of time together, you'd think there was something going on between us. There was, friendship, that was it.

While she painted me, she had asked about my family, I told her about them; she hated my brother.

She even started wearing jeans and hoodies. We'd gotten comfortable around each other. Plus, she was more understanding than I gave her credit for. For example; when I threw up in the middle of the night, she didn't make a big fuss about it.

She had removed the sheets from my bed, efficiently.

"I'm sorry," I had mumbled.

"It's okay," she'd assured me. "Everyone throws up, it's not the end of the world. Don't stress over it."

And to help me fall asleep, she'd read Shakespeare's Hamlet to me. It's not like I fell asleep to the enigmatic words; I fell asleep to her voice, her soothing, euphonious voice.

I'd never had a real friend. Come to think of it, the only reason I hang out with Amber and Caroline in high-school was because if I didn't, I wouldn't have any friends, well, that's what they made me think and I believed them. I wasted my time being in a fake friendship when I could've made real friends. Wow.

When I was supposed to be doing my homework, my attention was focused on Francesca who was arguing with one of her brothers over the phone about where they want to spend Christmas.

"No, Leonardo," she articulated every letter in his name, "you're not listening, we're going to cabin in Cordova," she hissed over the phone. "Oh, my god, shut up and listen. Jesus Christ."

I stopped listening after that.

"Maya, do you want to spend Christmas break with my family and I in Alaska?" Francesca asked me when she finally hung up.

"I'd loved to, but I can't, I have to go home to my family," I told her. "I would if I could, though, really."

She sighed. "That's too bad."

"Why? I'll see you after," I reminded her.

"I know, but I . . . I," she sighed again. "Okay, okay, don't get all soft on me, but I really, really, really, really, really, enjoy having you around me. Enjoy is just an understatement. I love having you around, and love is an understatement as well."

This might've sounded selfish, but it makes me happy that Francesca really enjoys my presence.

"When we're separated, all the euphoria I had when we were together goes away," she continued. "It's almost as if you're my twin flame."

I chuckled. "I don't think that's how twin flames work. But I feel the same way, I know what you mean." I wanted to do something with Francesca,  something fun. "Hey, let's go the a drive-in."

"Don't you have homework?" she inquired.

"Yeah, but . . ." I didn't have an excuse nor did I feel like trying to think about one. "Let's just go, an do something fun together."

She agreed and we took my car to go to the Starlit Drive-in.

We sat on the hood of my car. The Outsiders were playing, how ironic.

"So when can I see my painting?" I asked.

"I messed up, so never," Fran replied.

"I don't care, I still want to see it."

"No, Maya."

"Please," I entreated, she wouldn't yield, though. "So what made you want to draw me?"

"I don't know. I just . . . . you're very photogenic."

"I'm photogenic?"

"Yeah. You're pretty." She said in an unsure way, so it was obvious she was lying.

"There was a pause between 'yeah' and 'you're pretty,' you don't sound sure."

"Well, I am sure."

"Francesca, you don't have to lie to make me feel better," I assured her.

"I'm not lying," she said defensively. "Believe it or not, but I do find you physically attractive."

"Really?"

"Yes."

No one's told me they found me "physically attractive."

Coming from someone else, I wouldn't believe it. Coming from Fran, I believe it one-hundred percent because I trust her. I've never trusted someone so much.

I've never felt the feelings I feel toward Fran—toward anyone else. Yes, she comes off as vain and self-absorbed, and conceited. However, I don't see her that way, anymore.

I could see myself being with Fran in a non-platonic way, in a different world, though. It saddens me that I finally have a friend, but I want more than friendship with her. I wasn't going to ruin our friendship over my selfish desires.