Mississippi moves closer to you. He raises an eyebrow, a smirk on his face. You can't help but feel shivers go down your spine. You're.... So.... Close... "Heya, kiddo. Want a big mac?"
You can't believe it. He... He offered you a gift. A big mac. The biggest, juiciest burger. "Yes, please, please give me a big mac!" you plead. You have to have it. The desire is driving you insane. Mississippi nods. "Of course. Now, open your mouth."
He pulls a burger straight from his back pocket. You don't care that it has been in his bright yellow pants since before you arrived here thirty minutes ago. You don't care at all. Strangely, all that you can think about is the meat between those buns... The cheese, the lettuce, the tomatoes. And of course the sour taste of pickle juice. You open your mouth, and Mississippi hold the burger in your face. "Bite." he tells you. You comply.
As you bit into the burger, beef juice flooded into your mouth. You began to chew on the large bite that you had taken. Mississippi watches you enjoy his treat, smiling at you. He was still so close that you could hear him breathing. You could practically imagine the feeling of his breath on your face. "Swallow, and take another bite." he commanded. You felt yourself blush. So authoritative.
When you had finally finished the juicy morsel he had provided you, Mississippi patted you on the head. You felt your limbs go blurry. "Please, I've been so good. Please, give me a second big mac. I'm so hungry," you begged him. Mississippi took your hand. "Come with me, and I'll give you something better..." he promised. The hairs on your arms rose in anticipation as you nodded and allowed him to lead you into the kitchen of the establishment. So many big macs... But he didn't stop to get you a second one. You frowned. Mississippi took notice. "No worries. Like I said.... There's something bigger waiting."
He took you to a mysterious door in the back of the kitchen. This, you could only assume, was the coveted McDonald's freezer. But you knew better. You knew that only Ronald McDonald's chosen ones were allowed in. "Mississippi, I do not dare enter. We will anger him. He will take his wrath upon us, but for love of you I would shelter you." You hugged his arm. He gave you a sympathetic smile. "Do not be afraid, mortal. He has chosen me, and I have chosen you. We will have safe passage."
"Mississippi, you're so brave and strong. Please, then. Lead the way," You took his hand and released his arm as he took out a shiny, silver key. Mississippi unlocked the freezer door, and when he opened it you were faced with what you could only describe as the feeling of Father Winter breathing in your face. "Mississippi, I'm so scared. Please, protect me," you begged of him. He picked you up. "I already told you. We will be safe." he stepped into the freezer with you and shut the door.
Once you were inside, you could only stare in awe at the sight of fields of snow unfurling around you. Tiny crystals of ice floated down from the heavens, and in the distance you could see what appeared to be a large snowman.... Bigger than at least twelve whales. No, thirteen whales. Your eyes went wide at the sight. He carried you closer to the snowman, and as you got nearer you could smell an undeniable sweetness in the air. "Mississippi, what is that? It smells wonderful, my love." you said to him, holding onto him tightly. "This," he said, "is Freezy the Iceman. He is the mighty McDonald's warrior of the poles. His opponent, Frosty, is currently in Russia." You stared at the large giant in awe. "Every time I came here needing icecream, and there was none.... This is where it went, is it not?" it was so magnificent. You felt tears well in your eyes.
"Yes, dear.. Yes it is. All of your loyal and faithful visits, though.... They truly made me happy. And so I decided that you deserved to know." Mississippi set you down. You began to cry. "Mississippi! It's so beautiful! Thank you for telling me!" you managed to choke out a thank you as you sobbed, tears pouring down your face. Mississippi put a hand on your back, gently rubbing you with his thumb. "Please, do not be sad." he said to you, worry on his face. You shook your head. "No." You said. "No?" he asked. "I'm not sad. I'm just so happy!" you declared. You stood up and threw yourself into his arms once more. "Please, take me away McMississippi. I want to spend the rest of my life with you,"
