Crumbling Down

Hidden Hurt

We'd been here two weeks already, and it's been two of the best weeks of my life aside from the whole breakdown I had that first night. It just... it ugh, it made me feel so weak, like maybe if ladybug ever found out she'd be so disappointed in me. If I'm honest, it wasn't all bad because I had Luka there with me. I much preferred that over going through all those emotions alone. I think that was the night wherein we became closer than ever before, though not just in the physical sense; we became emotionally closer too. 

Over the past few weeks, we've had so much fun just exploring the immense property, say we haven't yet been to the beach. We should go later this week as it'd be nice to go swimming in the cool ocean. 

Natalie and Gorilla show up twice a week, once to take me for photoshoots, for which I'm grateful that Luka has been allowed to accompany me. Otherwise, I'm sure I'd have taken someone's head off; or just locked myself in the changing area. The second time would be just to check-in, making sure that we've not gone and died in one of the many ditches to see if we were interested in going sightseeing. Though so far, we haven't wished to, as there is still so much of the Chateaux property we haven't been to.

As of right now, we're in the entrance hall awaiting Natalie and Gorilla's return to the Chateaux; this time, to take Luka and I to one of the swimwear shoots my father has set up. Meaning that we'll be either going to the beach or a high-class swimming pool, though knowing my father, it'll be at the beach, a public one at that.

I lean into Luka for comfort as I hear Natalie's car coming up the long winding gravel driveway, I don't want to go and pose for pictures that will be shown throughout France, half-naked or otherwise, alas such is my life. It frustrates me that I have virtually no say in the matter, including having zero control over my life. I just want to be able to leave my house without an escort or getting in severe trouble if I leave, and don't have an escort with me. I wish that school wasn't just some reprieve from being trapped in my apartment also known as my room, according to the many others in my life. 

A sharp knock on the door snaps me from my thoughts, though my nerves remain; what shocks me more than the knock is that Luka silently tangles his fingers with mine. Waiting around for a minute before another sharp knock sounds throughout the hall; then he's off to open the door; causing me to fall slightly at the lack of support. Luckily I catch myself before Natalie enters with Gorilla hot on her heels. She looks annoyed that she had to wait 'oh so very long'  for us to open the door; she has keys she could use, though I'm glad she's respected us enough not to use them.

"I thought that I'd told you two to meet me at the door by 10 am today?"

"You did, sorry about that; we were sitting over there," I say, pointing to a spot by an ornate planter; just behind where we were standing. She nods curtly, then heads outside; Luka and I share a look, grab our day bags and follow her out the door, locking it behind us. 

With Natalie and Gorilla in the front seat, it leaves Luka and I to sit in the back. A tense silence permeates the vehicle, I can feel my anxiety increasing as I think of what the near future holds. In an attempt to calm myself, I stare out the window, trying to think of my friends back in Paris; and all the happy moments we've had together. Eventually, my thoughts stray to the blue-haired boy sitting beside me, he who has shown me nothing but kindness the entire time we've known each other.

Just thinking of him causes me to slowly move my hand near his, and eventually, I grasp his hand with my own, feeling an immediate sense of comfort. I let out a slow shaky breath, which only those who were paying attention would be able to notice. Those being Luka, who had turned to look at me with a smile after I'd started holding his hand. There was also a light blush across his face. His smile slowly falling to show his concern as he took in the situation. Giving a light squeeze in reassurance, he looks me in the eye, a silent message held within his crystal blues eyes; are you alright?