Crumbling Down

Not Alone

I'm now seated on the edge of Luka's bed with him beside me. His shoulder just brushing against mine, I wish I could lean in more. Though I quash those thoughts and turn to look him in the eyes trying to look as determined as possible. Pretty sure I didn't succeed there, oh well.  

"Luka, I-I hate modelling... " 

"..." he says nothing, but nods and waits for me to continue. 

Letting out a deep breath I continue, "It's because I don't like that I'm forced to do things a certain way and that I'm forced to essentially strip for the camera. Also, the majority of my photoshoots are in public places. it makes me so uncomfortable and even if I tell my father he'll still make me do it." Head in my hands I say quietly, "Honestly, I don't even know what I like anymore as I'm always being forced to comply with my father's ideas about who and what I'm supposed to be." 

His arm snakes its way around my back and I give in and finally lean into the comfort of his touch.

My voice wavers and I have to blink back tears before I continue, "I just don't want to follow his lead anymore I hate it, I hate having no control over my life, likes and dislikes, coupled with the people I'm allowed to associate with." 

"There's a reason I'm only allowed to be friends with Chloe, Kagami and Lila. Though I have no issue with Kagami as she's actually quite nice and understands what I'm going through to a degree since her mother is also overbearing. I still don't understand why my father approves of Lila. I kind of understand why he approves of Chloe but she's not the nicest, even though she does have her moments."  a sound erupts from my throat a mix between a laugh, choke and a cry. 

Luka looks concerned but only holds me tighter to him, taking a deep breath to try and calm down. Though by then it's too late, the dam has been broken, and the tears come flowing down my cheeks. Mumbling incoherently about all the things that my father has done, of which have upset me more than I've ever let on... until now.

"It'll be alright Adrien, eventually you'll be happy and out from under your father's thumb," he states in a soft voice so full of confidence I feel myself believing it. I really want to, but sometimes my father's constant presence in my life coupled with the sheer amount of aspects he controls is just daunting.

He then adds in a slightly lighter tone, "Looks like we both have daddy issues." 

The comment throws me off guard, making me smile a little. deciding to not question him about it, I just answer with a whispered, "yeah, guess we do." 

We sit in comfortable silence for who knows how long, eventually we end up spooning on his bed. him at my back hugging me.

"Hey, Luka?" I whisper.

"Yeah?" 

"Um, are you alright? You know you've been asking me that a lot, and well, I just wanted to make sure  you were okay too." 

"I think so, at least now that I'm here with you. Here I don't have to deal with knowing my father abandoned my mother, sister and I. Thing is I know who he is, and it's not like he can't visit; you know? He just doesn't, and it hurts to know that he doesn't care." 

I turn around to face him, all the while trying to wrap my arms around him in a hug, it half works after all the bed's in the way. 

"I'm sorry to hear that, also I guess you could say we're on the same boat there? After all, I haven't seen my father in person since Christmas and the times he has a video called or phone call it's been to order me to do something I usually don't want to do."

"Nah, I'd say similar after all I've never met my father in person you have." he laments.

"True."

Finally realizing just how close we are my face heats up while I blush a bright red, Luka looks at me quizzically before he seems to come to the same realization. We both just lay there blushing while trying not to one another in the eye. 

Evidentially it fails as we lock eyes and suddenly the room just falls away, we're in our own little world; each other. After a brief minute, it all happened so fast yet so slowly, our faces inch together like there's a connection pulling us together. My eyes flutter close and I feel slight pressure when our lips connect in a tentative kiss. It's like a spark shocked my heart into overdrive since it picked up its pace and I can feel it beating rapidly in my chest. 

It's slow at first, his lips moving against mine, prompting me to do the same. His lips are soft and mould perfectly with my own. It seems as if time had gone still, for in that one moment so many things seemed to be happening. So many thoughts passed through my head the main one a question: "Is this even real?" Followed by, "I must be dreaming." 

I let out a small breath and looked up into Luka's ice-blue eyes. Even if I am dreaming, I don't want this to end, after all, I'm kissing my crush. His pupils are blown wide with and he moves his head closer to mine, I bring my lips to meet his halfway and we're kissing again. 

We pull each other ever closer our lips moving in sync. Eventually, the kiss becomes heated and he's lightly nudging me onto my back with him straddling my waist, and moving his lips from my own placing butterfly kisses along my jaw, making me let out a small sound. Sparks dance across my skin as his mouth moves across it. He pauses and for a second I think that I've messed this up, whatever 'this' is, but then his lips drag across my skin back to my lips.

As much as I like what's happening, I just need to know that he feels the same, so I say something worthy of both myself and my alter ego Chat Noir; "So I guess now would be a good time to tell you that I like you as more than, 'just a friend' right?" I say.

He just nods before leaning his head down to whisper a breathy yes in my ear before going back to pressing butterfly kisses to my jaw and neck following up by breathily whispering against my skin between kisses, "'I,' kiss. 'have,' kiss. 'A,' kiss. 'Crush,' kiss. 'On,' kiss. 'You,' kiss. 'Too.'"  

His lips feel so good on my skin, the sensation of them just leaves me feeling incomplete bliss, but I wish that they were back pressing on my own. 

In answer to his question I tell him snarkily, "Well I think I figured that part out for myself, but thanks foR~ " he interrupts by biting my neck slightly, "Confirming." I finish. 

Things die down and we're both left breathless, Luka asks me for the time, quickly fumbling for my phone and flicking it on to show him we find that it's now around 9 pm. An unspoken agreement forms between us and we both drift off to sleep to deal with these new revelations come morning.