Blinded by Color

Chapter 3 Kayla

I am trying like hell to get ready for work when all I want to do is cry myself to sleep. I hate going to work right now. I hate my life right now. I can't help but wonder what does this girl have that I don't? She is not even his type. Oh, Josh, I just want to text you right now, but every part of me is saying do not do it. Okay, Kay, deep breath, you are fine. I work at a little restaurant in town called the Lutz Diner. I have been working here since I was sixteen, and now at twenty-three years old, I should have moved on, but I can't seem to leave this place. Call it comfort or whatever you want, but I make good money in tips. The owner, Mr. H as we all call him, inherited the diner from his father, and I love the family. Mr. H would do anything for me. I have the schedule I want, I know my regulars who love to sit in my section, and I get free meals. It is a win-win for me. I graduated with my associate's in business management but swore I would get my bachelor's in restaurant management and one day run my own, but those dreams left when I broke up with Josh. I gave up on my future because when you have no one to build it with, it seems less important. I am moving so slow today, putting my hair up in the usual bun, and ironing my uniform, the same one I have worn since I started. The diner does not change much because nothing in this small town does. We do not venture out, and the biggest thing that has ever happened here is my father's unsolved murder. It is the only thing that has ever happened as a major headline in our local paper. People used to whisper and talk about it, but now, it is all a distant memory. For me, it still stings. I am reminded every day when my mom comes home drunk and depressed, slurring her words and swearing. It kills me how much this murder has changed her. She and my father were so in love. They met as kids in high school. My mom only knew my dad, and the same for him. They both graduated the same year and decided to get married and start a family. I was born first, and then my baby brother Jerimiah. Jerimiah is four years younger than me. He still lives at home with Mom and me, but he says he is getting out of here every day. I love him so much, but I swear he keeps secrets from Mom and me. He is always disappearing and leaving for days at a time. I know he is nineteen, but it scares me. He never responds to my texts, and I feel like I lost my dad, my mom, and my brother. Josh was all I had, and now even he is gone.

My mom and dad started off like most couples, poor with just each other to love. They landed a small apartment in Tampa and lived in the city for a few years. My dad worked in a bank. Tampa Financial. He made decent money and worked his way up to branch manager. My mom worked at a gas station as a cashier. Together, they made ends meet. Eventually, when my mom fell pregnant with me, they decided to move back to Lutz and have my dad commute to Tampa. By this time, he was traveling so much for work that we rarely saw him. My mom decided to stay home and tend to me, so I had one active parent in my life. The thing is, my dad was a huge part of my childhood. Every chance he got, he was at my sports events and playing in the yard with me. He was the best dad ever. We always got along. When Jerimiah was born, I was about to start kindergarten, and my mom chose to stay home with him too. She and Jerimiah took to each other like a duck to water. They were super close. He loved dressing up in my mom's clothes and helping her pick out outfits. Jerimiah tried to do the same with me, but I was never interested. I just wanted to hang out with my dad and do father-daughter things. I guess it goes like that in a lot of families, mom and son and father and daughter. Either way, Jerimiah is not close to my mom anymore. He was only six when my dad passed, so he has very little memories of him. At first, my mom's downward spiral was slow, but it quickly picked up, and Jerimiah became my responsibility. For some reason, though, he has really pulled away, and I feel so distant to him. I chalk it up to my mom being a drunk and him losing his best friend and stable relationship, not having a father figure, and hating his sister. I don't know when or why my family had to become so dysfunctional, but I swear it is the never-ending cycle of drama.

*****

As I pull up to the diner, I notice the parking lot is full of cars, which means I am going to have a busy day. It's ten minutes to ten, and I am dreading going in, but I know once I do, I will forget all about Josh. I open the door, and I am greeted by Alyssa, my long-time coworker. She is always here; Alyssa loves to pick up shifts and never turns down money. She looks at me with her braces sticking out on her beyond obvious overbite and says with a mouthful of spit, "It's crazy in here today. I hope you are ready to make some money. It's going to be like this all day." I am stumped for a moment as to why we will be so busy, but then I remember it's wacky Wednesday. Wacky Wednesday is the day Mr. H invented to improve customer morale. He needed to be different. Every Wednesday, we introduce a wacky dish for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. The cooks get super creative, and it looks like today's menu has trumped the rest. I see the chalkboard sign by the hostess stand that reads:

Fresh eggs with grits and marshmallows for added sweetness with mocha pancakes that taste like fresh brewed coffee

Lunch includes our signature catfish and fries with a twisted martini and a spicy watermelon dessert

Dinner is our eel salad for starters with lobster bisque and steak, a side of peppered mashed potatoes and artichoke corn dip

These recipes are always the talk of the town, and Wednesdays bring lots of out-of-towners and Tampa city folks to our little diner. I quickly punch in and tie my apron behind my back. My section is already filling up, and I know I will be crazy busy and super tired by nine pm when my shift ends. I am looking forward to my one-hour lunch break already, and I haven't even started. The good news is, I know the menu by heart, and I could do this job in my sleep, so no matter how much shit I have going on in my life, I can always focus on the task at hand. This is another reason I just can't bring myself to leave this job.

A text pings on my phone just before I go to walk on the floor, so I had to check it. I was secretly hoping it was Josh. The sad truth, though, it was my brother Jerimiah, and his text makes my day even worse.

"Hey, have you heard from mom? I need these college papers signed, and I told her to sign them days ago. She still hasn't, and I can't get an answer from her. Tried several times. Kay, this is serious, Mom needs to sign these papers!"

This is my life; my mom is always somewhere not being a mother, and I am only relevant to my brother when he needs something. I take a second to text back.

"Don't worry, J. I am sure she will show up. If not, sign her name yourself, or I will after work."