Forever Yours Natasha Romanoff FF (English part)

Chapter 34

Natasha Pov

The party was fun. We had a lot of fun and it distracted me a bit, as I had hoped, from the stress with (Y/n). But now I realized once again how much I liked her. How she sat there and laughed and talked. And how I loved her laughter. No matter where she was, her laughter filled the whole room with good humor. Or at least that's how it seemed to me. All of a sudden she looked over at me and only now did I realize that I had been staring at her the whole time. I looked at her for a second and was once again about to lose myself in her eyes. I quickly escaped her gaze and concentrated again on my beer, which I still hadn't finished.

Now (Y/n) leaned to Pietro's ear and whispered something to him. In response, he just nodded and smiled slightly at her. Then (Y/n) got up and left the room. I wonder where she was going? Well, she would come back. But ten minutes later she was still not back. "Who wants to play Truth or Dare?" Sam suggested. "Very good idea Wilson!" agreed Tony and the others nodded. "(Y/n) is not back yet." I interjected. "Well, would you be so kind as to check on her Natasha?" Stark asked me. "I... um, yes. Where did she say she was going, Pietro?" "She said she needed some fresh air." he answered my question, shrugging his shoulders in ignorance. "Great! Ok, thanks." I said and got up to look for (Y/n).

Since I already had an idea where she had gone, a few minutes later I was standing in the top hallway and walking towards the door at its end. Once there, I pulled out my card and opened the door. Outside, (Y/n) was sitting on the edge of the roof with her feet dangling down. "I thought you'd be here." I made my presence known. But the girl showed no reaction. So I tried again. "How did you get out of here without a map?" Now she raised her head a little. "I pulled it out of Steve's pocket on the way out." she answered quietly. I had to smile. This girl was really something. "Hey, uhm, the others want to play Truth or Dare and I was wondering if you wanted to join in." I asked and walked a few steps forward until I was standing next to her.

Now she looked up at me with a look I couldn't quite interpret. It was probably a mixture of sadness, anger and amusement. "And continue to pretend that everything is fine. As if everything here is normal?" she said now and I could see that she was mostly angry. "(Y/n) I-" "Let's not do that. You're drunk." she interrupted me. "I haven't even had a beer. (Y/n) please listen to me, I-" "No now you listen to me ! You took me away. Kidnapped me, put me in a glass box, hooked me up to a machine that almost killed me. I almost burned to death and since I've been here, nothing and absolutely nothing in my head is as it was before. I almost threw myself to my death today. And that only to get answers. Answers to questions that have arisen because of you." Now she was angry and sad at the same time and her eyes were filled with tears. "And as if all that wasn't enough, somehow, and believe me I have no idea how, I fell in love with someone like you. And just when everything was getting back to normal and ok you decided to block me out as if nothing had ever happened." She stood up and looked me straight in the eye. "Can I say something now?" I asked after we had stared at each other for a while. "No!" She paused for a moment, "Okay, but only because I can't think of anything else to say." she mumbled, a little offended. "Okay, good. Listen I know I fucked up. I know that." "Well, you noticed it early," (Y/n) interrupted me with an ironic undertone. "Yes, I know that too. When I decided not to let you get close to me, I never intended to hurt you. I thought that I could protect you and myself. But I was wrong, ok?! I was wrong. Because when you were in there, in that building, I was afraid. Afraid of losing you. And that's so stupid, because I shouldn't be scared. But I was scared and I couldn't do anything about it."

Now (Y/n) looked me straight in the eye and then nodded slowly. "Why do I have the feeling that this is not the only thing you are afraid of?" Confused, I looked at her. What did she mean by that? When she noticed my confused look, she continued. "I don't believe that you are not just pushing me away from myself and protecting me. I think that you are afraid to get involved in this.Getting involved with me. To relinquish control." She spoke now much calmer and somehow more understanding. "Yeah, maybe." I said, shrugging my shoulders. (Y/n) leaned her forehead against mine. "And that's okay. You're not used to giving up control. When I was little I had...well a similar problem." She paused for a moment and pulled out her cell phone. "I played on the basketball team at my school. And I was good no question." I had to smile. "However, I had a problem. I couldn't play on the team. I always wanted to go it alone. At one point it got to the point where my coach said that if that didn't improve, he'd have to kick me off the team. When I came home that day, I was completely exhausted. I told my parents what was going on and that's when my dad had an idea." Now she was typing on her cell phone and suddenly a song came on. A light melody.

(If you want a song)

"This was my grandfather's favorite song. That day my dad started this song and took me..." She put the phone away and put one hand on my lower back. With the other she put my hand on her shoulder blade and then took my other in her own. "He took me like this and then he said what I'm telling you now. Just let yourself slide. You don't have to do anything, do you understand? Just let me guide you." Then she pushed me back a little and took a step forward. "Give up control." So I also took a step backwards. Now she pushed me slightly to the side with her left hand. "Close your eyes Natasha. Yes, like this and now trust me. Don't think so much about it."

I did what she told me, in fact it was not easy at the beginning. Again and again I wanted to go another way, tripped over my own feet or stepped on hers. But it didn't seem to bother her. She caught me and just kept dancing. She guided me and was considerate. Eventually, however, I did what she told me, no matter how hard it was, and just let myself slide, relinquishing every last bit of control, taking one step after another. As if by itself my body reacted to every little movement of (Y/n), as if it was a silent command. Now here we were on the roof, dancing arm in arm without saying a word. And it felt so incredibly good. So free. As if nothing mattered anymore what was happening outside our little world. I put my head on her shoulder and breathed in her scent. Here, right now I felt comfortable and most of all safe. I had the feeling that (Y/n) would protect me from everything. No matter what comes. "You see, it is not that difficult." I opened my eyes and smiled at her. "No. No, it's not," I said. Again I leaned my forehead against hers and we both closed our eyes.

All of a sudden, I heard a clearing of my throat. "Ahem...I hate to interrupt, but you've been gone a really long time and-" "Wanda, how long have you been standing there?" I asked. (Y/N) and I had raised our heads, but were still standing arm in arm. Wanda said slowly, twisting a strand of hair around her finger. "WANDA!" said (Y/n) in an admonishing voice. "All right, maybe two minutes. But I didn't want to interrupt you, you looked so cute dancing arm in arm." she tried to justify herself. "Uhm, yeah, so...why did you come?" I asked, a little confused. "Stark told me to look after you. He thought you were beating each other's heads in, but that wasn't the case. Fortunately!" "Yes. No. We...talked it out, I think, didn't we Nat?"  (Y/n) asked and I nodded affirmatively. "Alright. Then let's go back downstairs, the others will be waiting." Wanda said and turned to go. "You go ahead. We'll be right there."  (Y/n) said . "All right." Wanda agreed and then closed the door.