NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
"Evan?"
"..."NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
"Evan!" Jared do be shaking me out of my despair quite literally
"Whagt"
"You weren't responding"
"Oh uh- Just had my mind elsewhere" In reality, my mind was spiralling downward because of the bikinis I'd have to wear with Jared. I just told Zoe that I would star in her youtube video ad thingamajig.
I clearly had not thought it through.
"Dude, let's go get some swim time, acorn" Jared fistpunched me, "wait acorn r u hard"
"I'm not gay, just saying."I blushed again trying to hide it
"Yes senpai.."
"Prove that you aren't gay. Kiss me. TEll me you hate it. Tell me you'd rather kiss a fem!Jared with gigantic boobs"
"What the f-ck" He made out with him and got several ulcers and 21 Emmy nominations. A large golden shiny d-ck statue lay underneath my pillow, away from my parents' prying eyes. Meanwhile Jared and I were scheduled to make a gay p-rn- speech at the mall in a couple of minutes.
"BIKINIS ON!!""SEXY, ACTIVATE!, ACORN 101"
Haha funney 69
We put on bikinis, drove off in my now sexy PT Cruiser, and flounced onto the mall stage, Zoe with her cam ready. SHe gasped loudly because....
We both still had raging b-ners.
She took the pictures anyway "this will attract a lot of people" she said smirking. Speech time.
Alana took over, shoving us off, "these two men here are obviously gay congrats don't hate my brother let's go goodbye whoop whoop hallelujah we survived" she strikes a pose real quick and then yeets herself out the window happily :D
We mourned her then got shish kebabs. As I ate my shish kebab meat, I left the capsicums for last. I pointed at a green one to Jared. "This one reminds me of your magical dazzling shiny sparkly amazing life-ending dazzling awesome dazzling cool swag dazzling brown eyes."
"Y"
"Sorry but they're both hot"
NICE he telepathically screams into my mind
WHAT'S HAPPENING I screm back
Zoe points at our fingers "is it just me or is it red"
"Wdym"
"Oh there's a red string" i say, tacking out a pair of scissors, about to cut them
"WAIT THEY'RE MAGIC DONT CUT THEM ACORN"
HE PUTS HIMSELF IN THE WAY OF THE SCIISSORS AND DIEADS
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO"
TEARS RAN DOWN MY FACE POLLUTED LIKE A AWATERFALL AND STAINED MY CLOTHES FOREVER WITH BLACK AND THE TEARS WENT INTO HIS MOUTH AND HE BLINKED HIS EYES OPEN AND OH MY CROFT HE'S ALIVE!!!!!!!! JUST FOR A SECOND MORE!!
