Who Wants to Be Lonely: A Y/N x Eric Carr Story

Apologies

Eric POV

I stood at the foot of the stairs, chest heaving as I stared after Y/N before walking to the kitchen table, sitting down and burying my head in my hands.

"Dammit Eric, you fucking idiot. You know you never take out your struggles on family or friends. You know better than that."

I could barely even process the fact we were having another baby, I was too ashamed of what I had said, of what I had accused her of. I hadn't even believed what I had said. I was just still jealous, if I was really honest with myself. Jealous of Eric Singer for being in KISS, instead of me. I had left, sure, but I had been sort of asked heavily to leave. I loved my family, but I had loved being in the band, and I hated the idea of Eric Singer replacing me, of the fans forgetting me, of letting down my family now that I wasn't in such a famous band.

It wasn't fair, I had no reason to believe it, but I couldn't stop dwelling on the feelings of inadequacy, of the fear of losing the things I cared about the way I had lost the band, even if I was still friends with my former bandmates.

Tears welled up in my eyes as I rose to my feet, walking up the stairs. I stood outside the door of our room, heart aching as I was able to hear her sobbing. I hesitated, unsure if I should go in and explain to her I didn't really believe it and was sorry or just give her the chance alone to let out her emotions. And of course I'd say such a wretched thing to her when she was pregnant, when she was already more emotional than usual, on a night that should've been a happy one for us both.

After standing there for awhile, I turned and walked back downstairs, picking up the phone.

Gene: Hello?

"Um...hey, Gene. I need your advice," I said slowly.

Gene: Oh man, it's gotta be bad if you're calling me for advice. What happened?

"So...I-I said something really hurtful to Y/N and she's really upset and I'm not sure what to do, do I talk to her now or-or do I give her some space?" I asked, swallowing the lump in my throat.

Gene: How upset is she?

"She told me to sleep on the couch and not to bother coming upstairs," I murmured, and Gene let out a sigh.

Gene: Damn, been there. Look, you know her best, she's your wife. Explain things, apologize, and then do something to make it up to her.

"Alright. Thanks Gene. Anyway, I'll let you go," I said, hanging up and looking back at the stairs.

Taking a deep breath, I walked upstairs, pushing open the door to our room. Y/N was lying on the bed curled up into a ball, sobbing into a pillow. My heart ached and I slowly walked over, reaching out and gently touching her on the shoulder.

"Bunny?"

"Don't you 'Bunny' me," she spat. "J-just leave me alone!"

Ignoring that, I sat beside her on the edge of the bed, rubbing her on the shoulder.

"I'm really sorry," I murmured.

She jerked her head up from the pillow, giving me a furious glare.

"Why would you ever even say that?! Wh-what have I ever done to make you think I'd cheat on you?! That hurts, Eric! That's hurtful to know you don't even trust me! You knew I was with my best friend at the concert, but rather than assuming I was talking with her after you assumed I was fucking Eric Singer?! I met him for the first time tonight!" she shouted.

I bowed my head, nodding.

"I know. I'm really sorry. It wasn't fair to you at all. And you've never done anything to make me think you'd cheat on me. I've just...it sounds stupid to say out loud, I'm just jealous that Eric Singer is in the band now, and I've stepped out. I-I love spending time with you and the girls, believe me, I love it more than anything! But I miss being in the band, and I-I'm worried...I'm worried I've let everyone down, I'm afraid of him taking more from me."

She sat up, trying to wipe away her tears, before picking up my hand.

"Eric, please. You haven't let anyone down. You never will. You're a wonderful husband and father and person! I couldn't be m-more proud of you," she said.

There was a pause before I leaned over and gave her a tight hug.

"I'm so sorry. I'm so, so sorry I said that to you. That was so hurtful and so unfair to you," I choked.

"It's okay. I should've realized how conflicted over leaving the band you were sooner," she said, burying her face in my shoulder. "I forgive you. I love you, I can't stay mad at you."

"I know you're not like that. You're perfect. I couldn't ask for a better wife. And I'm really sorry I ruined y-your plan to tell me we were having another baby," I mumbled, feeling awful.

She sat back, giving me a smile, and I wiped tears from her cheeks. She gently took my hand, resting it on her stomach.

"It's alright. We'll just have to have a fourth one in the future. But for now, we can focus on this one," she said.

I nodded, fresh wave of tears pricking at my eyes.

"I'm so sorry. I love you so much, m-more than anything."

"I know. I love you too."