Ragnarocc

Thanks, I Hate It

"Thanks, I hate it," Loki spat out some grass and pushed himself off the ground.

"May I say, falling for thirty minutes did wonders for your hair," I laughed, although it wasn't entirely untrue. "Looks better when it's not so aggressively slicked back with children's tears or whatever the fuck."

"You're hilarious," he sneered.

Thor grabbed both of our shoulders and turned us in the direction of his father, who was sitting cinematically in front of the cliff. "There."

"Thanks, Thor, I can see ," I groaned.

"Come, my sons," Odin said, all dramatic and cryptic, as any true asshole would, "We don't have much time."

Guess I'm invisible. That's fine, I suppose this is a family thing that I definitely don't need to be involved in anyway. I coughed and shuffled over to the edge, rocking back and forth on my heels while a serious conversation was happening next to me. I tossed a couple of rocks over the edge and watched them drop into the water below. Isn't gravity fascinating? Isn't it sad how desperately I'm trying to avoid eavesdropping on this conversation? My nonchalant facade, however, failed when I overheard something about a goddess of death.

"...Hela," Odin was explaining, "Your sister."

"Your WHAT?" I exclaimed, against my better judgement.

Odin finally turned to acknowledge me, "Oh, it's that human person."

"You don't remember my name? You should," I muttered, pitching another rock off the cliff, "But that's fine."

"Is this one Jane?"

"No!" I snapped, "And actually address me. Don't talk like I'm not here."

"What exactly is she doing with you, then?" he raised an eyebrow at me, still doing what I told him not to. Apparently my justifications for existing were more important than the seemingly crucial discussion about the goddess of death he was having with his sons. No, some chick who happened to fall through the portal with them is just sooooo much more relevant right now. ...But I do love feeling important, so I don't object.

"See, I've been friends with your sons and-"

Loki interrupted me, "Hold on, let me tell it, it was my fault."

"It wasn't a fault, it was the best thing ever," I scoffed, "And I want to tell it."

Odin sighed heavily, "Will someone just tell me what's going on?"

"Let me tell it!" I demanded again, "So, there I was, bleeding fucking everywhere-"

Loki butted in again, waving me aside, "No, no, I am telling it, she doesn't even remember most of it, so I AM GOING TO TELL IT-"

"Bitch, it happened to me-"

"I AM GOING TO TELL IT!" he declared, apparently very adamant about explaining the situation.

Thor reached over and pushed us away from each other, "Here, I'll tell it! So she was bleeding to death, and this genius had the bright idea to-"

"Loki threw the eternal flame at me," I announced with a straight face.

Odin fixed his son with an appalled look, causing Loki to immediately jump to his own defense. "But she was dying, I had to do something, so I panicked and-"