The Manager (BTS fanfiction)

CHAPTER 27 - Disband

The rest of the days pass by in a blink on an eye, all of them were busy with schedules packed tightly back to back, that they hardly had any time to sleep.

They were flying everywhere in and out from Korea to attend interviews, doing performances, going on talk shows and so much more, they were at their peak and they felt grateful but yet exhausted, Vonne tried talking to the company on their overwhelmed schedules but many agreements have been made with third party hence cancellation doesn't seem to be a choice. Vonne and the crews supported the members in every events, putting in their best efforts even they were exhausted as well.

And not gonna lie, this did took a toll on the members. A few are starting to feel overwhelmed that they started feeling lost, they are beyond grateful for all the opportunities they had, that's for sure, however at the same time they felt lost, dilemma and couldn't express their feelings in words that they felt...worn out, tired to the fact that they felt like quitting, quitting this fancy idol life that everyone is craving about, they started to feel like they are working on a fixed routine everyday, that sometimes they couldn't find their passion in doing these anymore, it felt like they're a robot only doing things because it's part of their work.

And there's where depression hits most of them, those words Suga said during his previous panic attack starts spinning round in his mind, or would say many of their minds, they felt guilty by thinking that they wanted a break, by thinking that they had enough of those performances, that they had done enough concerts, enough interviews, enough shows that they felt guilty just by the thought of having a day off doing nothing, because all these was what they wanted, it's what all idols wanted when they first debuted, and now that they've earned the fame, it just felt wrong to feel that you need a break from everything, and that's what the members have been talking about for the past hours in their living room.

"I'm sorry but i can't take this anymore.. I just can't feel myself anymore.. Im sick of all this"
Wet cheeks and teary eyes can be seen on all of their faces because of their deep conversation
RM : "So what do you say? We disband the group?"
By RM saying that, they all started sobbing hard, just the thought of it sounds scary but yet at the same time, it seems like that's what they wanted, but the fact was none of them wanted this to happen, they just couldn't take off the stress they have which were suffocating most of them.

Jimin : "Hyung.. is that the only way out for us?"
he asked in sobs, none of them have the courage to make such decision as they knew they were feeling lost and not having the clear state of mind to make any right decision at the moment
Jin : "We are a team, if any of you felt like there's no meaning in doing this anymore, then we would follow the decision made by majority"
Jin spoke in sadness, even though that hurts but it would be best than to force anyone to continue with whatever they are not happy with anymore
Suga : "I think we should all calm down and take a break from this conversation we are having right now" he said between sobs "We have been on this conversation for hours, and are all emotionally whacked to be honest.. none of us would have the right state of mind to be making any decisions. I'm not stopping anyone from making any decisions, i just don't want any of us to have regrets on the decisions we make tonight"

They all nodded and remain silent for a long time, trying to find inner peace in themselves.
RM : "We will talk to Bang PD-nim tomorrow about this"
They all looked at him, not sure whether its the right thing to do
RM : "We had to, everyone has been holding on to their emotions for too long, this is not just a emotional ride caused by 1 or 2 events, these emotions we are having has been there for the longest time that it has sink us, i don't think its a wise choice for us to not open up to our thoughts right now. And... if in any event that we decided to disband.. i think its fair for the company to know about it beforehand"
They all nodded and patted each other before heading to rest in their own rooms, but they all knew that no matter how exhausted they are physically and emotionally tonight, they wouldn't be able to sleep through.