Insane in the Brain

Chapter 1

"You're a fucking child" I plopped down next to Wade on the edge of the bridge, mindlessly swinging my legs as I watched the traffic whizzed by below us.

"Crayons are the superior medium, not my fault you're blinded by ignorance." He replied, not bothering to glance up from his drawing, intense focus etched on his face. I laughed quietly as I watched his brow furrow in concentration as he tried and failed to draw a katana. He looked up, "shut up, you know you love it" he holds the paper up to get a proper view. We both tilt our heads slightly in a feeble attempt to make sense of the scene.

"Yeah no, it fucking hideous." I scoff, "What the fuck is that supposed to be?" I point at the vaguely human-shaped red blob to the left of what was apparently supposed to be him.

"It's you, obviously" 

"Oh yeah, obviously, silly me for not realizing." I smile as he rolls his eyes. In an attempt to change the subject, he begins humming along with the music, bobbing his head in sync with our swaying feet. I humored him just this once, and dropped the subject, allowing him to think he'd won this one. The song slowly faded out and was replaced with the next, the variety of Wade's taste in music will never fail to amaze me. I did actually like this one though.

"Insane in the membrane" Wade sang along returning to his drawing

"Insane in the brain!" I followed suit, staring blankly into the void, fiddling with my knife, but a bright flash in the corner of my eye whipped my head around.

"Insane in the membrane!" Wade continued, clearly too focused on his crayons to notice.

"Insane in the brai..." I trailed off as my eyes focused on what had caused the flash, violently shiny metal glinting in the sun had spun around the nearest building. Fucking Ironman, are you kidding. Wade had looked up when I failed to complete my line, irritated for messing up the line, but that quickly dissolved into amusement as he caught sight of what I was so distracted by.

"Looks like we got company!" He announced as we watched the world's six favorite hero's slowly approaching our bridge from the road below.

"This should be fun" I replied, "It's probably just another warning to 'peacefully do our job without excessive loss of life'" I said mockingly, emphasizing my disdain with air quotes. "But just in case..." I returned my knife to it's holster on my thigh and stood up. Wade gently folded his drawing and followed suit, delicately placing it in his breast pocket.

"Ladies first" he said, gesturing off the bridge.

"Always the gentleman" he nodded loftily as I casually stepped off the ledge "YOUR DRAWING IS STILL RUBBISH!" I yelled as my feet left the rough concrete, I could practically hear his eye roll accompanying the grind of boot on stone that signaled his decent. I smiled as I landed on the hard road, causing several cars to desperately swerve to avoid hitting me, nearly initiating a pileup. "Oops!" I said innocently, shrugging as I pulled my mask over my head.

A loud crash followed by a thud drew my attention to my left, Wade had rather gracefully fallen through the sun roof of a nearby SUV, I watched in amusement as he clumsily extricated himself from the broken glass and dented metal while shamelessly ignoring the screaming Australian in the vehicle. "I thought you were nice down undah!" Wade yelled back in a terrible Australian accent as he walked away from the car. That was a mistake, the burly man climbed out of the front seat in a rage, stomping towards us while yelling something about bollucks and yanks, I swore I heard something about Shrimp of the barbie but that might just be me. "He's a few stubbies short of a six pack!" Wade muttered, continuing with the shitty accent, laughing, I turned around and casually unsheathed a katana, twirling it around in my fingers. The man storming towards us stopped short, smiling, I turned back around and caught up to Wade who had continued walking towards the Avengers.

"Why do they always walk like that?" I commented, mimicking Black Widow's strut, exaggerating my hip movements and puffing out my chest as I walked, Wade laughed, following suit. both of us had trouble keeping it together as we got close enough to make out the looks of confusion and bewilderment on their faces as we sashayed towards them. 

Before Tony Stark could open his mouth I assured him "It was Wade who set loose the weasels in Queens!"

"IT WAS NOT!" Wade defended, "I would never do something so... uncivilized, weasels.. please, you could at least pretend to have some self respect" In a quieter tone he added "I would have used wolverines" 

"Please, just because you fondled his balls to get your own movie doesn't mean you have to make everything about him. We've all done it, you're not special." 

"What do you mean you've all done it?" Wade asked, dumbfounded, looking over to the Avengers. Black Widow, Hawkeye and Cap all nodded. Everyone looked at Cap confused, knowing he had no trouble getting a movie. He just looked at his shield, pretending to rub off a spot of dirt that we all knew wasn't there. 

"This isn't about the Weasels, frankly I don't care, someone dealt with them before we even got there." I frowned, I had been basking in the thought of iron man fighting weasels, who the fuck stole that from me. "We need your help" the phrase snapped me out of my reverie.

"What?" Wade and I asked, dumbfounded, they never needed our help, well, they always needed it, they just wouldn't ask. 

"We have new intel on the Winter Soldier's next moves and we... we need your help" Tony was clearly struggling with the idea.

"Sorry what was that, I didn't catch that last bit." I asked, leaning closer and grinning behind my mask. tony just frowned at me, clearly not in the mood, I caught a slight smile on Black widow's face though. Maybe she wasn't as uptight as I thought. "Fine, but we get to stay at the compound." I demanded

"Why the fuck knuckles would we want that?" Blurted Wade turning to me quickly, rolling my eyes, I turned to him

"I heard they have a really cool pool" even though that would have been enough to convince him, I added "and a fuck ton of weapons." With that, he perked up.

"Then we stay in the compound!" He demanded in a sing-song voice, tilting his head as though daring them to decline our offer.

The resound sigh that echoed from the group was our signal that we had won. "Fine" tony said curtly as he turned around and lifted off the ground, his helmet forming around his head as he zoomed out of site.

"What a cheerful fella!" I exclaimed, bouncing slightly to emphasize my sarcasm.

"Follow us" Hawkeye said in a deep voice, from the look that Black Widow gave him, he was forcing it.

"FoLlOw uS" I mimicked, making my voice raspy and low, black widow exhaled forcefully, clearly stifling laughter. Yeah okay, she was cool.

Wade linked arms with Hulk, and skipped along side him cheerfully, "What a lovely da-" the force of his body being thrown into at building promptly cut off his sentiment.

"A lovely day indeed!" I countered without a second glance towards him as he began to twist his arm back into his socket, mumbling something about anger issues and kinks.