Insane in the Brain

Chapter 5

"I'm sorry Tony. Okay? Is that what you want to hear? That I'm sorry, because I am. I'm sorry I messed up, I'm sorry he died okay? I'm sorry!" I blurted, feeling tears threat to well in my eyes. Blinking them away, I glared at Tony and the rest of the team behind him, all wearing the same expression of rage and disappointment. 

"We should have never gone to get you" Tony retorted, his voice breaking on the last word, the only emotion in his eyes now was fury. I froze, I knew they were all thinking it, but I knew that they didn't actually mean it, at least I thought not. My anger faltered, threatening to be replaced by betrayal, but instead, grief filled my conscious.

"No, you shouldn't have" my tone softer now, almost sad. My sudden shift from fury to guilt stalled Tony, his face slackened into confusion, clearly lost for words. Nat stood behind him, her eyes full of tears that had yet to fall, I'd never seen her cry, but even now, not a hint of sadness could be seen across her face, her expression only held anger. Her glare pierced through me more than the rest, I had thought she of all people would understand, but no, as clearly conveyed by her clenched fists and eyes that seemed ablaze with hatred, there was no understanding there. 

Clearly annoyed by Tony's sudden pause, bruce lunged forward, green shadows dancing across his features as he loomed over me, but Nat got to me first. Her fist collided with my jaw as I made no attempt to stop it, as she yanked me up by my collar, I felt warmth gush from my nose. Before I could gain my bearings however, she stormed forward, as I stumbled backwards to stay on my feet, she smashed me through the glass behind me. I could feel the crunch as at least two of my ribs shattered on impact. 

I had no desire to fight back, I knew she would want me to, but I deserved everything coming. Her fists repeatedly slamming into my face as we fell through the void, I felt blood slowly coating the left side of my face.

Simply closing my eyes, I let the blows come, anticipating the impact with the ground. I deserve this, Cap is dead, I deserve everything.

"Shit!" I gasped awake, bolting upright off the cold, metal table, the cold sweat that covered my body clinging to the steel.

panting and shaking, I clutched the edges of the table, peering around the room in an attempt to gain my bearings. Similar to the room before, the walls were lined with metal tables, not unlike those of a morgue, behind me sat a few machines, all of which attached to the wires in my arm, I reached to rip them out, not knowing what they were for, but a familiarly cold hand stopped my forearm.

"Don't" the Winter Soldier ordered, his voice was stern, but I noticed his eyes lacked their usual misty blankness, he seemed strangely... Human.

"Oh hey buddy!" I said in the same tone I would use when talking to a small animal, "You're looking awfully sentient today!" His eyes narrowed in annoyance. I relaxed my arm to show him I wasn't going to pull out the wires, and he loosened his grip. He stepped over just enough to lean against the wall opposite me and suddenly became very interested in his shoes.

Ignoring him, I sat up, shifting my weight until the hard metal was at least tolerable. 

"Who is Bucky?" He blurted, not seeming to want to see my reaction, his eyes stayed trained on his boots. 

I looked up with a questioning look, "I think he was Cap's friend in the war, he's dead though, got himself splatted on a mountain somewhere in like 1420 or something, I don't know, whenever World War I was. You know, I bet his body is preserved pretty well, when it's that cold, flesh freezes quickly enough to-"

"World war II" He cut me off, still looking at his shoes, "It was in World War II"

"Yeah thats what I said" I assured, "I think the impact killed him so he's most likely not very... whole, still, the cold would-"