Insane in the Brain

Chapter 10

The familiar wail of sirens woke me this time, normally it was just some bitch screaming but I guess we went a bit far this time, we were dead long enough for the cops to arrive, that was a first. 

I sat bolt upright and the line of civilians trying to peer past the police escorting them away began screaming. There we go. Dismissing the bustle of people around me that were now dispersing in shock and horror, I flopped over to check Wade's pulse. His blood was resiliently pulsing through his veins, pressing against my fingers at his throat. 

"Wake up you lazy cunt!" I said next to his ear, he twitched slightly but remained unresponsive. Now came the fun part: Sitting up, I retrieved the knife from the holster at my thigh and raised it to plunge into his upper arm. My hand was stopped just inches away, Wade's eyes shot open as his left hand grasped my wrist, wildly keeping me from stabbing him.

"Not this time bucko!" at this comment I dramatically sighed and collapsed in a sign of great defeat, after a moment of silence, I heard his attempt to stifle a giggle. This of course lost me my composure. We both gasped at each other in an attempt to sit back up while laughing hysterically, a condition that was only worsened once we caught sight of the look on the cops' faces. The mixture of confusion, terror, and occasional amusement made for an absurd arrangement of features.

As we regained our composure, we made it to our feet. Walking past the police, too shocked to attempt to stop us, Wade muttered to the nearest one

"Its okay we're Avengers we cant be held responsible for our actions" ending it with a wink, we linked arms and walked rather properly out of the parking lot, at least until we made eye contact, then all hope of composure was lost. 

A couple of hours later, we made it to the compound, still cackling about various exploits. As we make it to the tall glass doors that lead to the kitchen, Wade mentions Tony's habit of wearing sunglasses indoors which prompts another fit. Clutching my stomach, I open the left door for Wade to enter, he saunters in backward, he quirks one eyebrow and pulls his best Stark face. That was too much for me, doubling over in laughter, I stumbled to the side slightly, causing the large door to swing into the wall behind it, instantly shattering. Now it was time for Wade to lose it. 

Wade Wilson on the ground, practically paralyzed from laughter, me, standing by a pile of shattered glass with my hands on my knees, chanting shit, shit, shit, like a mantra, covered in blood from the shards falling on me. This is the scene Tony Stark saw when he woke to make his coffee. 

The cells in the basement were not as comfortable as they looked, and they don't look very comfortable. 

"That fucking bitch, we only broke one door!" Wade exclaimed from the cell across the hall.

"Yeah we've done much worse I don't know whats up with him, he hasn't worn sunglasses indoors in weeks" we both suppress laughter at the thought. "In all seriousness though he's lost his..." I paused, trying to find the word, "Tony-ness... I don't know he's just different"

"Yeah I've noticed that too, did Applejack break up with him?" Wade giggled a bit, enjoying his joke, but his laughter faded when Tony himself came into sight.

"Pepper and I are perfectly happy thank you" Tony muttered bitterly, "the tox screen came back, you both have over 10 grams of cocaine in your systems... I bet you two feel just peachy right now."

"Yep! absolutely fantastic!" Wade replied cheerfully

"I would tell you, but my psychiatrist says I shouldn't discuss it with strangers" I chimed with a wide smile. Tony rolled his eyes and input his fingerprint to open the cells. I smooshed my face against the glass as it slid back, pulling my features into a grotesque shape, Wade enjoyed it far more than Tony.

"Grouchy boy" I muttered in a baby voice as Wade and I brushed past Tony and back up the main floor.

As we topped the last stair, Natasha came up to us rather suddenly

"Have either of you seen Tony? We can't find him" Her tone was mildly panicked, a feeling she doesn't seem used to.

"Yeah he's downstairs, he just let us out" I answered automatically, thrown off by her frantic nature.

"What do you mean, let you out?" her eyes widened

"I broke his door so he put us in the chamber thingies for a couple hours" a look of something resembling horror flashed across her face, I glanced at Wade over my shoulder, the same feeling of unnerved confusion that I felt was etched on his features.

Natasha seemed overwhelmed, like she couldn't decide what to say first, "Okay you need to go talk to Bruce" we stood frozen, "NOW!" he raised her voice, startling us into action. we walked past her but I stopped her as she started descending the stairs.

"Natasha, what's happening?" she seemed surprised by my sincerity, but after a second she sighed and answered.

"JARVIS is dead"

A/N

Hello! I'm so sorry for not updating for a while, some shit went down, but I should be able to update every two weeks for a while now. 

I am blown away by the attention is getting and you're all so sweet thank you so much for all the support I will do my best to stay consistent for a bit :) 

I'm very excited about where this story is going, I have a cohesive plan now so it'll be very fun! Thanks again!

-Grey