Welcome to Our Life

Chapter 11

I do not own Attack on Titan or any of the characters mentioned.

/Note: There is a trigger scene ahead, if you get uncomfortable or are terrified of panic attacks them please, do not read between the (A/N)/

(Levi P.O.V.)
It was Sunday. I had decided to go out for the day to look around. If I was going to live here I had better learn this place like the back of my hand. That would be a hard task because the city is pretty big.

I walked, because you know I can't drive worth anything, along a path in a near by park. Not the one I went to yesterday. I wouldn't go there alone, even if Eren said it was safe. God, what was I saying? I could handle myself fine. Why have I been feeling helpless lately?

With all of these thoughts on my mind I must have gotten distracted because next thing you know I'm walking straight into someone. I made contact with the ground and the person fell on top of me.

"Ow, watch where your going asshole." The guy said and stood up. I got on my feet afterwards.

I glared, I'm the asshole? "Your the one who fell on top of me." I stated and crossed my arms over my chest.

"I bet you liked it, fag."

"...What?"

He got closer to where his face was just centimeters from mine. I could smell the disgusting scent of fish. Ew.

"You heard me faggot, I bet you fucking-" I slammed my fist into the guys face before he could finish his sentence. This guy chose the wrong fucking day to mess with me. I kicked him in the stomach and then kicked the back of his knee making him fall to the ground. Ha, he doesn't even deserve that! I grabbed him by his hair and slammed my knee right into the motherfuckers nose.

I kept on with my swarming hits and kicks, then I picked him up by his collar. I didn't care if we were in a public place. I didn't mind that I was about to kill another guy. I didn't like the fact that I was pulled away from him before I could land another hit.

"God dammit, let me go!"

"Levi, calm down." It was Erwin.

The guy that I had previously almost slaughtered, lay on the ground moaning and groaning in pain. He fucking deserved it.

I didn't stop trying to get out of Erwin's grip. I kept on until I finally gave in and slumped in his arms.

"Are you done?"

"..."

"I'll take that as a yes, Hanji, Petra, call the ambulance."

I didn't know that they were there, I didn't know that they had seen what I had just done. Man, I felt like utter shit.

The two stared worriedly at me then did as they were told. Erwin lead me out of the park and to his car where Eren, Mikasa, and Armin were both sitting in the back.

"..." I felt uncomfortable in the car and kept my head down. I knew Erwin was taking me to his house. I knew they were going to question me. I knew I had to tell them about me.

As we drove up the drive way the tension got heavier. Hanji and Petra drove up not long afterwards and we went inside.

Everyone sat around in different places.

"Don't fucking stare at me."

They seemed taken aback by my sudden choice of words.

"Levi...what was that?" Eren questioned.

"..."

(A/N Trigger Scene)

I was affraid. I didn't want to tell them. They'll hate me. I know they will. I'll run away and never come back. Oh shit, I was going into a panic attack.

My chest tightened and I couldn't breathe, not at all. I tried to breathe but nothing went down my lungs. Everything started to go black on me.

I don't want to go back to that time. I don't want to remember my parents. I don't want to remember the anger and pain I felt when I killed the man that killed them.

(A/N Trigger End)

"...evi."

Someone was saying my name. I tried to find the source.

"Levi."

I turned to see Eren holdings my hand.

"Come on breathe." And I did. I gasped for air. I savored the oxygen that filled my lungs.

"That's it keep breathing."

After a while of getting my breath back I looked at everyone's worried gazes.

"I'm alright."

They sighed in relief.

All of this was just fucking stupid. A panic attack? I haven't had one of those in a while. Ever since... Since-

I calmed myself down. I couldn't go back into that again. No, I wouldn't.

"Are you going to explain now, Levi."

I guess I had to remember a few things after all.

I sighed, "A few months ago there was an incident that involved my parents."

They all nodded urging me to continue.

"Well, there was a man who was drunk that followed my father to our house, he broke in and stabbed both of my parents right in front of me."

I blinked my eyes repeatedly to stop the tears, it was too late to show weakness. Of course, my luck was zero and tears streamed down my face anyways.

"After I saw what happened to them my mind flipped: I grabbed the nearest thing to me, which was a kitchen knife, and ran at the guy."

At this part I paused. I didn't think I could go on with the story. It was still hard to talk about.

"Levi, you don't have to tell us the rest." Eren said and placed a hand on my shoulder

I put my own hand over his unconsciously. "No, I've already began, I'm not going to stop."

He nodded them smiled encouragingly. Damn him.

"I don't remember much because it was a blur but I do remember that I had stabbed the man in the throat and slit it, after that I can't remember."

"The next thing I know I'm waking up inside of a hospital."

I turned my attention to the floor and gripped Eren's hand more.

"Now you know, you know that I'm a fucking killer. Now that I've told you you probably hate me." I cried out in pain. But not the physical type of pain, oh no this was full on emotional turmoil.

No one spoke, I knew that they were trying to take everything in. Soon they will be yelling and screaming at me.

I winced waiting for it to come but it never did. What did happen was totally unexpected to me. Eren wrapped one arm around the mid-section of my back and the other around my neck.

"You must have been terrified." He spoke softly in my ear. My eyes widened. This was not what I was expecting at all. Not one bit.

I felt the wetness on my cheeks increase as it all came crashing down on me. I was terrified. I was so scared of losing them, of losing him. They were too good for me. They didn't hate me for what I did.

I had never cried before in my life but now I broke into sobs. It was embarrassing yet, it felt so good to let my emotions go.

"Shh, its okay."

"It hurts so much!" I yelled into his shoulder as clung to him.

"I know but your safe now, you don't have to be alone."

I stayed in his arms. We didn't want to leave so Erwin let us spend the night. The others went into his guest rooms while Eren and I stayed in the living room on the couch.

"Eren?"

"Hm?"

"Aren't you afraid of me?" I asked tiredly.

"Nope."

That was all I needed to fall into a peaceful slumber, not before feeling something touch my forehead.

What was that?